Wednesday, April 20, 2011

We never know how high we are...

We never know how high we are by Emily Dickinson
We never know how high we are
Till we are asked to rise
And then if we are true to plan
Our statures touch the skies --

The Heroism we recite
Would be a normal thing
Did not ourselves the Cubits warp
For fear to be a King --
Its funny how we "learn something" in life and then we LEARN SOMETHING in life.  How words come to life under the most diverse circumstances.  Like how big and bold and bright the colors of the rainbow are.  And we can describe them, and oh yeah, they're pretty.  But then you grow up.  You marry one day, and have a baby.  And suddenly after this human being that you are suddenly indelibly linked to, comes into your life, with ear splitting screams, and unyielding needs, and the most intense love you'll ever feel.  And then suddenly, you know COLOR.  Like techno-color.  Like the light switch was finally thrown on and suddenly you can see you've been in a very dimly lit room all along.  Because red is like RED and you see all the pinky-purply-blackish-bluish-beauty to it, and you wonder where you've been all along, stuck looking at monotone drab blah for red. 
And seeing red, like really SEEING red, reminds me of that poem by Emily Dickinson.  Because do we ever really know the fullness of our capabilities until we are forced by circumstance to rise up to meet that occasion?  We were probably capable all along, but do ever really push ourselves to see, to find out, to discover?

Because if we did?  The feats we conquer, might actually not be so heroic, if we could just go do them every day... they'd just be normal.  "Warping the cubits"- well cubits is a kind of measurement.  And warping the cubits must mean altering them.  Its the effort we actually put forth, rather than the true effort we could perhaps put forth.  Because of our insecurity.   Um, its like tying one hand behind our back and trying to shoot from half court, and then not feeling too badly if we miss.  Or being content seeing drab, as a muted tone of red.  

I didn't think I could do cancer.  I didn't think I could do daily blood draws like oh-my-god-they-are-sticking-needles-in-my-arm blood draws every day.  Or scans, PET, Bone, CT, MRI, scans.  Or chemotherapy?  Who me?  And surgeon visits, and oh yeah radiation therapies?  

Oh, and another thing I've never dared to do?  Call myself a writer.  I still blush any time someone says it.  

 And I am not alone in the "heroics" I see every day.  When Stacy tells me she went out "cold calling" just to see if she could garner some items for the silent auction?  She got a huge response!  She sounds so surprised, but I'm not.  Just wait till you see what they did with the little pink purses.  Can't wait to show you.

And I wonder if Pam thought of herself as a "business owner?"  But NeckLaces and the bracelets are doing so very well, and she is so very good at it.   And would her husband, Greg ever think he was going to organize and plan a spaghetti feed benefit?  Plus a silent auction and maybe a golf tournament?  But he stepped up, along with many, many others and led the way. 

And I'll accidentally leave someone out who is working tirelessly behind the scenes, like Kim, or Tami or Amy, but I assure you I will have pictures at some point for proper recognition.  Did they know they could do all that they are doing?  I assure you its a lot of behind the scenes I am not around to witness.  

But it makes me wonder... where is your crown?  Where is your stature?  Are you waiting to be called to rise to see?  


TJ let his class pet Cocoa who was visiting for the week wear the bracelet.

And this is Rockstar, I mean Sabrina, who fought and won the battle against stage 3 breast cancer 4 years ago- yes, when she was 17!  Way to go Sabrina, love survivor stories of strong women! 

Katie and Sabrina

Awww, and Julia with her mom Sue, thanks girls! 

They're here!  We have Shelly to thank for setting us up with Joy of Joyz Jazz so everyone can buy a silver hand stamped, fight like a girl necklace!  Click on the photo in the sidebar to take you to Joy's paypal page.  Or visit Joyz Jazz on facebook and leave her a mesage.  A portion of every sale goes back to me!  Thank you Shelly, thank you Joy!!  

Keep the photos coming, we love getting them!  Thank you everyone! 


  1. OH yes, Vicky, whether or not you choose to wear the word, you are a writer - you do it naturally, beautifully. I hope you're working on a book.

  2. Vicky, your post meant all the world to me this morning. I have often watched others go through things and thought that God just knew THEY could do it. Three years before my diagnosis, my sister went through stage 4 cancer, and I "knew" I could NEVER do that, and God would never call someone to walk through what they were not able to walk through. BUT. . . I had forgotten the truths like "I can do ALL things. . ." And yes, you are so right. It is then that we KNOW what we KNOW. And that's why I KNEW you would get through this. I just KNOW. What a jumble of words this post is. But now I know you know, too. Love you, and I'm still praying for you! Watch the mail!

  3. Oh yes, Vicky, you are a writer. You touch each one of us with the words you choose to pen from your heart.

    "What I like in a good author is not what he says, but what he whispers." ~Logan Pearsall Smith

  4. exactly, friend. when people say "I could never do what you do" I always respond with, "it's just because you haven't had to yet."

    YOU can do all things because of HIM. and we are all here cheering you on, love.

  5. You are a writer. Period. And you are an inspiration to me just like we've always said about Sara...also, you have so many sweet friends who love you so much, it touches me deeply to hear about all the blessings.
    love u big and wide Sweet one.

  6. That is my favorite Emily Dickinson poem. You have an incredible gift with words. I am so excited to order my necklace! You rock Vic!

  7. Some very good thoughts which your writing skills enhance.

  8. See? I am not the only one hoping to see that first publication by Vicky Westra... You have a way of touching hearts and inspiring people that should be shared with the world and not just the lucky few that read your blog :)
    So PROUD to call you family :)

  9. You are an exceptional writer, Vicky! I know that there are many, many books in you :)

    Love surrounds you. You're an inspiration, my friend!


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