friends are the glue

“I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.” ― Jon Katz

We were friends in high school.  It should be said there are five of us.  But our friend Elizabeth couldn't be with us.  We just felt her spirit with us the entire time we hung out yesterday and missed her all the same.  

We were the original 80's teenagers.  We took our punk rock seriously, along with the leg warmers, Duran-Duran and our mocking "Valley Girl" slang.  Writing notes to each other was our own version of texting.  And you didn't want to get caught passing notes in class any more than you want to be caught texting in class these days.  

We went to Cher's Kitchen for the caramel rolls that were the size of a dinner plate- literally.  We rode our 10- speed bikes to the Holiday Mall with the Ben Franklin store and bought cheap make up at the drug store.  We drooled over Gloria Vanderbilt jeans and Nike tennis shoes.  Yeah, we said "drooled" a lot.  

We would sign our notes "Friends Forever," never knowing if we really would, if we really could.

So life happened and we lost track of some of our group.  We went to college, moved to the farm, moved to the city, scattered about, got married, had kids and lived. 

Who would have thought just a couple of years ago- caramel rolls would bring us together again.  I was walking into a restaurant with my family here in town, and as we rounded the corner to our booth, I saw a plate of caramel rolls, and heard three voices say my name all at the same time.  It was Elizabeth, Karla, and Carrie and I hadn't seen them in over 20 (cough) some years.   What are the odds?  

After inhaling some food, including one of those caramel rolls I was "drooling" over,  I sat with the three of them for awhile.  It felt natural.  It was all too short.  And I realized how much "history" we shared.  We knew each other's siblings, neighbors, and parents.  We had a lifetime to catch up on.

I wondered why my path had quite literally collided with theirs in this way, on this day?

We became "friends" on Facebook.  We texted each other, called sometimes or emailed.

Little did we know- that three of us would lose our fathers just months apart from each other.  We'd cry the same tears, grieve the same loss, share the same memories, and piece by piece discover the women we had become.  

And when I was diagnosed last year with breast cancer?  They came and surrounded me at my benefit.  Where my past friends became acquainted with my current friends.  Part of my life was coming full circle.

Saturday, we spent the day and part of the evening together.  We have kids that range in age from twenty something- all the way down to 2 years old. We live in three different places.  We have jobs, and husbands and houses and aging parents, and cancer, and problems and joys.  

Time still flies when we are together.  Stories get told and memories are shared and laughter flows. 

We talk already of the next gathering, with Elizabeth.

On the very day (in)RL (in real life) gatherings were happening across the country, I took part too.  It was my own gathering of community.  I just happened to be the lucky one whose community isn't new, it goes way back.   But whats happening is that we are rediscovering each other in new ways.

“You can go through life and make new friends every year - every month practically - but there was never any substitute for those friendships of childhood that survive into adult years. Those are the ones in which we are bound to one another with hoops of steel.” ― Alexander McCall Smith

Choose...

Ever since my epic Monday I've been resting this week.  Quiet.  Reflecting.

I knew today would be "epic" in its own way too.  Shannon's beautiful story of our Sara debuted on the (in)RL webcast event at (in)courage.

Shannon also lovingly made it possible for me to view and attend the conference.

I watched it first with my friend Amy.

And then two times by myself.

I almost took a photo of the pile of kleenex I went through...

I both leapt for joy and grieved over the Gitz sized hole left in my heart.

In fact, I thought of her all day last Monday at the State Bank Pay it Forward ceremony.

Because...

in the three short years that I knew her... she grew me into who I am today...

And whenever someone sees "something" in me, or my writing... truly... it grew from what she taught me.  In a way, you see her.

These were some of the things said about her by those who knew her and loved her in our blog community:

"She poured into others."

"She made peoples hearts her intent."

"She served others.  She needed to be served, but she served others."

Plus so, so many other profound statements.

I'd like to think each of us lucky enough to have had her in our lives, carry pieces of her with us.  Her story lives on in us and through us.

Shannon brought all those pieces together and wove them into a beautifully crafted tapestry of the story of Sara's life.

I was a hot mess afterwards.  And then I simply remembered to do what Sara embodied the entire time... to choose joy.  I chose to go back and let my heart fill with joy.

What will you do to choose joy today?

You can still register and attend the (in)RL conference today!  Go to (in)courage and check it out.

State Bank Pay it Forward... Winner!

“When we lay the soil of our hard lives open to the rain of grace and let joy penetrate our cracked and dry places, let joy soak into our broken skin and deep crevices, life grows. How can this not be the best thing for the world? For us?” 
― Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

Winner... I'm not sure that word has sunk in yet.  I'm not sure anything has truly sunk in yet.  I have such a "heady rush" leftover from the events of the last 24 hours that I have not landed squarely on my feet yet. 

I am the State Bank Pay it Forward grand prize winner- because of all of you!  All those votes, counted and added up and multiplied and were sewn into 5,000-dollars.  But really?  Its 5,000 hugs, and 10,000 prayers, and 15,000 well wishes and its love to infinity and beyond.  

I simply can't wrap myself around the magnitude, the joy, the gratitude.  I can't settle on one moment, one emotion, one word or any string of words.  

I arrived at  State Bank yesterday a few minutes before 11.  The lobby was filled with people!  Everywhere I turned were friends who were surprising me with their presence.  And then the media started to stream in. 

And then I thought, good thing Dr. Panwalkar isn't here to see my heart rate, cause its about to beat right out of my chest.  

Then the ceremony started and I watched as one by one, each of the finalists stepped forward for their check.  And my name hadn't been called.  And my knees shook, as my heart raced and the reality of what that meant sunk in.  I won...  and part of me was still so caught up in the stories of the others... that I wasn't really sure it really was me.  

Because the other finalists?  Were all so deserving!  How do you pick?  One need isn't greater than another.  I am no more worthy than they.  They are no less worthy than me.  They all deserve.  

But then I feel the gentle hands around me usher me forward.  Some sort of autopilot sets in.  This is so much bigger than all of me.  Okay God, I'm trusting you.  I'm stepping forward in faith again.  

On the left in the picture is Jeanine Larson who is in marketing and coordinated the contest on Facebook.  Directly next to her behind the podium is the President of State Bank and Trust, Michael Solberg.  The three beautiful women surrounding Rick and I are from my book club where all of this began- Pam, Amy and Heidi.  

And then the next thing I knew, a reporter came and asked to talk with me.  And when I said yes, the rest of the media came and set up around me.  Thank goodness my book club girls, Heidi and Amy, were there with me.  I have no idea what gushed out of my mouth or if it was even coherent.  

Amy and I...

Heidi, Amy and I.

From left to right, Amy, Sue, Kim, Mike, me and Rick, Ben (Ben made the video!) just off of Rick's shoulder, Anne, and my sister-in-law- Missy. 

How cute are these two women?  Beyond sweet, and I was so happy to meet them yesterday!  They made me blush with their high praise.  Thank you Julie, thank you Amy!  Truly, the pleasure is all mine.

Whew, you can see why I feel a little at a loss for words. I feel the bigness of the moment, while still feeling like a tiny speck on the radar.  Because I am part of something so much bigger than me.  And that is my takeaway right now.  

This is about a group of people, who have embraced the mission of their bank, (State Bank and Trust) to "Pay if Forward."  And in so doing, they have sent out compassion and concern and 10,000 dollars that have undoubtedly made a difference in 10,000 ways in 6 people lucky enough to be on the receiving end.  And all of you dear readers?  You embraced their mission and sent it out into the world with all of your votes, and your cheers and well wishes and prayers- and turned 10,000 into "MORE" than anyone could possibly conceive.  

A few more places to read/ watch about our amazing event yesterday...

KVRR- really great write up by Kyle Johnson.

WDAY- video and write up. 

valleynewslive- video here

Inforum- write up here

A million "thank you's" from a humbled soul, doesn't even come close to covering all the gratitude this girl feels.  

lavish and abundant

The old pink ribbons hanging in tattered shreds around my trees had taken a beating.  They'd withstood harsh winds, blazing sun, slanted rains and busy boys.  Last week my Aunt Marlene adorned the trees with fresh hot pink ribbons.  Their slick and shiny tails now billow around with renewed energy and life.  She also surprised us and had our lawn thatched, mowed and readied for spring.  I've tried saying "thank you" hundreds of times in a thousand different way.  But it seems so smallish compared to how I feel.  

Its all so lavish.  The love we feel.  Its abundant.  Its big and deep and wide.  We've been rendered speechless and awed at the same time.  The boys can read it on my face.  They handed me a card last week, and when my hand came up to my face they knew... "yep, she's gonna cry... yep, there she goes." 

The tears come when the words written with love in a beautiful note, hit home- because they so often do.  Or they spring forth because two sweet girls emptied out their change jar and shared it with you.  They can also come when you receive a heartfelt note, from an author you greatly admire, who reads your blog! Tears take the place of the words that lodge in my throat. 

Lavish- like the number of votes our video received these past couple of weeks.  We've clogged all of your Facebook feeds with daily reminders to vote. Knowing, the whole time, that each video, each finalist, is oh-so-deserving to win. 

But greater than any dollar amount, I will always remember how lavished we felt throughout.  In cheers.  In acknowledgment.  Way more than 5,000 dollars could ever buy!  This is the feeling that lodges with the tears and commingles in my heart.  I've won without the final votes being tallied. We're winners.  Steeped in lavish love and wrapped in pink ribbons that ripple in the wind.  

Finding the bright side...

Colton never made it out the door today to school today.  He had a stomach ache before he even left.  His fever came on around 11.  He slept for awhile and has sipped some Sprite but hasn't moved off the couch.

At 12:30 the phone rang.  It was the school nurse.  Nolan had a fever and a headache. 

Good thing we have two couches.  

Good thing I have steroids.  My own sickies won't kick in at least until tomorrow... smiles... there is always a bright side.  

For our Sweet Sara...

If you are a Gitzen girl fan, you are going to love this!  So honored Shannon posted a link with a sneak peek at a portion of her story that will play in full at the inrl gathering through incourage, April 27th and 28th.  Follow the links over to incourage to get all the info.  Won't you join us?

Awhile back, Shannon asked me to make a video for her about Sara,  or talk to her about my thoughts about Sara- and oh my cow- I forgot!  Like completely!  So NOT like me.  And now when I see this?  It suddenly bursts out of my head that I was so excited to have the ability to say what Sara has meant to me in my life... and yeah... I forgot!  Dang chemo brain!  Luckily- she was surrounded by people that "GOT" her.  Each one of them connected to her in a powerful  and unique way.  Through them, you'll KNOW her, you just will.  Just watch this sneak peek... Sara's story inspires.  You'll see why she is who I want to be when I grow up...







Chemo round 3 (6 doses) of Halaven is now done!  I had an early morning of chemo and it went quickly. My chemo nurse mentioned she grew up on a farm in Western North Dakota, and I had to ask where...  She replied "New Salem."  I about fell over.  It was my Dad's hometown and we've made many, many trips there over the years.  If you've ever driven through western North Dakota on I-94, you've undoubtedly seen the giant holstein cow up on the hill.  I didn't know my Dad would be with me at chemo today- it was sweet with a side of longing mixed in.

Day 16 of my Pay it Forward contest...  I'm so honored for all the votes done on my behalf!  Thank you for showing me so much love!

Just 4 more plays and I will go over the 900 mark for views on my video!  I'm going to embed it here so if anyone has missed it they can see it one last time and maybe we will top 900!

really good news...

I won't keep you in suspense... we were approved for the new health insurance!  While we prepared ourselves for a month long application process- the whole approval took 2 weeks!

Kristina Schultz of the Arneson Ovsak Agency in Moorhead, called Rick yesterday morning and announced the great news.  She was willing to research the internet, make phone calls and problem solve for us.  I know it took hours of her time, but she was determined.

She found Minnesota Comprehensive Health Association or MCHA, administered by Medica.  We now have to make two health insurance payments for 6 months while I sit out the pre-existing condition limitation.  But at the end of 6 months I will be able to drop our old insurance and start the new!  Its the window we waited for!! Its the very thing, you all have prayed for.  I am convinced you all make a very big difference in my life!



Our mailbox continues to be a source of unending joy...

This is a sampling of what arrived throughout the past couple of weeks!  There have been several anonymous cards with donations and gift cards- thank you!  Superman and I continue to search our hearts and make sure we are good stewards of your gifts to us.

 My friend Verna sent this to me- she says in the past these have been referred to as the "broken star" pattern.  But now she will rename them to the "the star of hope, with the sun shining in the middle." 

The hours that go into making these, not to mention the beautiful crochet work- thank you Verna! 

My friend Nancy made and sent this card to me- her whole 5th grade class prays for me each day- I'm so honored. Thank you 5th graders!  I feel your prayers working for me.  

My friend Shannon honored me with this sweet surprise... a registration for (in)RL April 27th and 28th.  Our sweet Sara's story will premiere on Friday... go to (in)courage and follow the links for all the details!  Hope you will join in too... 

The sun is shining today, but even through the rain that poured yesterday, I felt nothing but healing light shining down on me.  Love and blessings to you all! 

reason #156

I sat nervously tapping my foot on Tuesday as the printer in Dr. Panwalkar's exam room sputtered out my lab results.  I thought I was sunk.  Low counts would prohibit me from doing chemo. So many of my counts were low- but my neutrophil counts were just high enough for me to squeak by.

So we chatted about my digestive issues, and Dr. Panwalkar graciously re-filled my lidocaine/antacid cocktail.  As he was figuring out the amount to prescribe he asked, "Is it bad and you take a dose or two, (and then he leans closer and says quietly) or is it BAD and you drink it all day long."  Rick and I both nodded as I said BAAADDD.  He promptly prescribed TWO bottles.

He then checked me over from head to toe and asked all the usual questions.  We told him about our proposed insurance change that would provide more coverage affordably.  I told him sheepishly a lot of paper work would probably come his way and he smiled and said "of course, its okay," and dismissed the inconvenience I know will come with it.  We told him it was our plan A, and that we had plans B and C, and he nodded... knowing. He knows.  I am sure he has heard a variation of our story a hundred times.  I marvel how he keeps coming back every day to face us all again.  Our woes, our burdens, our pain... the cancer.  Thank goodness he knows and still comes back.

Thank goodness I also know he will laugh, loudly with his sides shaking, at the most innocuous things.  Thank goodness, I know there will be laughter.  And concern and care.

We conclude our visit and I decide to ask for a "state of the union" address... a "how am I doin' Doc?" kind of summary.

And this is reason # 156 why I love Dr. Panwalkar.  He smiles and says, "Well, you LOOK good, how do you feel?"  And I say, "I FEEL good."  So he says "Then, you are GOOD."

He then walks us down the hall to infusion where we part ways at the waiting room.  I go to sit down, but I know to look back one last time.  He is also looking back over his shoulder and when our eyes meet he raises 3 fingers and nods goodbye.  I nod back knowing his shorthand now.  He is saying he will see me in three weeks.

As I sit waiting for my pre-meds to kick in the scheduling nurse drops by.  She gets me an appointment for next week and then asks if I need lab work.  I answer yes, but then we see Dr. Panwalkar has said no labs for next week.  She smiles at me and says, "well, you must be doing good."

I smile back and say, indeed, I am.  For now, I am doing good.

when chemo sounds normal...

A few pics of our Easter Day before I head out the door for chemo.  I'll see Dr. Panwalkar this morning and then I'm off to infusion.  I told someone yesterday that it was a "normal" week this week, not too much going on.  I never thought I'd use the words "chemo" and "normal" in the same sentence.  

Day 9 of the Pay it Forward contest for anyone who would like to keep voting.  The boys celebrate each and every entry they see and get so excited by all of your votes!  Thank you for all you continue to do!

I am the clay...

"I am the Potter; you are My clay... on some days your will and Mine flow smoothly together.  You tend to feel in control when our wills are in harmony.  On other days you feel as if you are swimming upstream, against the current of My purposes... Stop and seek My Face. "  Sarah Young




Over the course of the last two weeks, Rick and I have been swimming upstream.  It turns out radiation oncology has been the least of our concerns.  Cancer takes a back seat to... life.

I've never been one to "hear" God talking to me.  No whispers, no verbal messages, no two way talks.  But I believe I see his answers all around me.  I believe in the "harmony" that happens when my will is in accordance to his will for my life.

I'm about to get brutally honest.  This isn't a plea for help.  This isn't a plea for anything.  We are fine right now. Its simply a snapshot of the reality we face, and the answers we seek.  I hope if you stick with this till the end, you feel our hope.  But we walked a dark path, before we felt that ray of light...

Having completed a full year of treatment (!) we now have a grasp financially of what it will cost for our next year.  The gaps in my insurance are gaping.  Since Rick is self-employed, our insurance has no pool it goes into.  We have no prescription coverage, no mental health benefits, a 3,000 dollar cap on scans and a large deductible.  And those scans?  They tell us where the cancer is cropping up, and they happen every 9 weeks.  I can't tell Dr. Panwalkar not to do scans, or I am tying his hands in fighting against cancer. But at 3,000 to 5,0000 dollars per scan, you can see where the costs add up.

Still, I'm grateful to even have coverage at all.  We've also been blessed with generous outpourings of financial benefits to us that have kept us able to survive.  We have been buoyed and kept adrift last year, cocooned in the safety of enough to see us through. Grateful only scratches the surface of how we feel about the wealth and abundance that has flowed our way.

But now we look ahead.  After all, isn't that what we are fighting so hard to achieve?  To beat back the cancer and live as far into the future as possible?  But at what cost?

We needed to start searching out the answers.  We are fine right now!  But we have to have a plan for the rest of this year!

Tuesday after radiation, we met with a bankruptcy lawyer.  Oh how we don't want to walk that road.  And what we were really searching out, is how do we keep ourselves OUT of bankruptcy?  How do we stay OUT of collections?  We are a viable family and Superman owns a viable business.

The attorney was helpful in giving us some ideas of other avenues to pursue.  He also felt bankruptcy is NOT a solution for us now.

So the next Tuesday we met with a Social Security Disability Attorney.  But, I've been at home too long with the boys.  And I don't regret a single day I've had with them.  So while medically I automatically qualify for disability, I don't meet the requirements for having paid in enough.  And, my husband makes just enough money for us not to qualify for any services.  No Medicare, no Medicaid, no disability... until or unless we are bankrupt.  Or...

The last option we have faced.  The one that renders me depleted.  Empty.  Hurt.  The one I can barely say... divorce.  End our marriage, so that I can stand on my own.  Not a single aspect of this sits well with me, until I look at our kids.  It will preserve their future.  It will keep them going.  It will provide for them.  And I know I can't rule it out completely.  (I'm condensing here, this process took me nearly a week of tears and prayers to concede it was even an option...)

This was the lowest I have probably felt since last year at this time on this cancer journey.

Dear God, just let us get this one right!  I pour my hurting heart out to Him, knowing, he knows! 

Every time I think I've surrendered, I find new ways to deepen my surrender.

All of these closed doors and we just keep praying for that window to open.

And then a sentence gets uttered.  By the secretary who has popped her head into the disability attorney's doorway.  "Have you tried the girls next door?  The insurance gals?  They've worked miracles before, maybe they can help you."

Insurance?  We assumed that door had been closed.

We immediately go the Medica office next door.  The agent has time to meet with us right away.  She listens as we lay out the pieces of the puzzle we have become.

She doesn't promise anything, but asks for time to do some research.  I feel a glimmer of hope.

I whisper to God,"Is this what we've been searching for?"

The answer comes quickly in a phone call from the agent later that same day.  Can we meet tomorrow?

We arrive shortly after my radiation treatment the next day.  My voice now raspy, my throat raw.

She has found something.  Its an insurance group for people exactly like me- with no other place to go. I have the highest rating, and the highest category of risk to insure.  But if you pool all of us together?  Its brilliant beyond belief.

 Its beyond what we had hoped for.  The premiums of the plan are comparable to what we pay.  BUT, the deductible is lower.  AND, they cover EVERYTHING.  From mental health, to scans and even prescriptions!  There is no distinction between infused drugs versus oral chemos.  Its all covered at 80 percent until we meet our deductible, then its covered at 100 percent!

The agent literally spent hours on the internet and phone searching for something.  She really went above and beyond to help us out.  I told her she felt like an "Angel" to us.

But... will I qualify?  On paper it sure looks like I could.  But we have to wait a month for our paper work to be processed and then we will know.

Still, its the "window" we've been looking for.  It would greatly reduce out expenses.  We'd still be tight, but I just know we could figure it out.

We're hopeful.

Remember our State Bank Pay it Forward contest?  Last week before we were announced as a finalist, Sanford asked for another payment of 5,000 dollars.  We had no earthly clue how we would do another 5,000 right now.

What is the likelihood of finding out you are a finalist for a grand prize of 5,000 dollars, just days later? I don't think its any coincidence.

We may not win, but the hope I feel every time someone shows up on fb and has voted for us, leads me to believe, we'll find a way.  Each vote connects to the next one and builds a bridge of hope I'm trusting in.  I don't know where it will lead, but I am saying yes to "My Potter, letting the circumstances mold me into the one He desires me to be. "  All shall be well.

Easter Blessings to each and every one of you! 

We were picked!

Do you remember the State Bank & Trust Fans' Choice Pay It Forward contest that my book club friends entered my family into?

THEY PICKED US as a finalist!

Would you all consider voting for my video?

You can vote one time per day now through April 19th!

Here is the link to the contest on Facebook Help Vicky Westra.  You'll see my video as the last of the 6 finalists on the page, with the title Help Vicky Westra.  You just click the vote now button and follow the instructions.  You can also post to your wall and encourage other's to vote. I don't get to see who votes unless you are a Facebook friend or you come and tell me.  But my Facebook friends alone registered over 50 votes yesterday!

The video/person that gets the most votes will win $5,000 and be announced April 23rd!  The other 5 finalists will each be given $1,000.

I am already a winner- no matter what the outcome!  But $5,000 would go along ways towards our spiraling treatment costs.  I would encourage you to watch the video if you haven't already.

If its on your heart and you could help us out, we'd be most appreciative!  And we already know we'll be figuring out a way to also pay some of it forward!



Dr. Foster was wonderfully kind yesterday in giving me some pain medication to go along with the other meds I have.  I had a minimum of discomfort yesterday and am very grateful I continue to be in such good hands.  HIS hands are where I continue to rest.

"Hope is the whisper..."

"Hope is the whisper in our soul that tells us all will be well."

My sweet friend Shannon sent this beautiful verse to me with abundant words of encouragement.  I love that she could "see" me in this card.  I think when we see a piece of someone else in something, its because that something is a reflection of ourselves.  

My cousin Jennifer sent this in a card to me also:  "The most beautiful stones have been tossed by the wind and washed by the water and polished to brilliance by life's strongest storms."  

I think its beautiful and true and remarkable that someone- that she- would see those words and think of me.  

You all do so much for me.  

It was a rough week last week.  

I sailed through the first few days of radiation last week. Until the day I went to swallow my vitamins and each one felt like a shard of glass ripping through my digestive system.  I felt each one burn all the way down.  I swallowed the first of my lidocaine and antacid mixture and felt the instant numbness take over.  Sweet relief.  But short lived.

I have been in digestive discomfort the better part of the past few days.  By nightfall, I am swigging away at the lidocaine in the hopes that I can fall asleep and numb my mind as much as all the heartburn and acid reflux.  We had hoped the full effects of the radiation wouldn't settle in until the end of treatment, but with a week to go I am a little apprehensive going into this coming week already experiencing so much discomfort.

I will see Dr. Foster after treatment tomorrow.  I know he has seen worse.  I know he will do something to help.  One more week.


One of my bright spots in the day is going to get the mail.  No matter how many bills and appointment reminders come from Sanford, every time a card comes, I am instantly filled with joy.

This is just a sampling of the cards that were at hand and I am sorry if I left anyone out.  I am hopeful to send some thank you notes out soon!

I only met Cindy a few weeks ago.  It was such a pleasant surprise to have this show up in the mail! Thank you Cindy.

My Superman brought this in Saturday morning.  The timing was impeccable... and the sentiment was perfect.  John and Heidi- you completely made my day with this!  My kids still don't understand the nature of the party- but rest assured- I'm so there!!

Sunday afternoon I was deep in sleep.  I am finding a portion of the day spent resting in bed and I'm just going with it for now.  But when 3 cute girls from the Moorhead Spuds Girls Hockey Team show up at your door?  You don't want to miss it!  I was seriously caught off guard in a good way- and did not want to burst into tears in front of them, but Rick and I are so awestruck.  THANK YOU!  I read through the names, some unknown, some very well known to us, and we are deeply humbled by our hockey community and their ongoing support and generosity.  

The girl's team also brought this beautiful Easter Lilly and signed their own card to us.  I noticed right off that it was pink!

I believe the radiation treatment will work for me.  I believe that going through some discomfort in the short term, will benefit the long term.  I believe hope still whispers in my soul.