Friday, October 14, 2011

Because of Sara Frankl... On The Minds Of Moms

I'll admit I'm a little hopped up on steroids right now, and Claritin, and Lorazepam and a little Ranitidine for good measure.  And I've been drinking yucky things and having an iv full of dye contrast shot into me as I barreled in and out of the CT scanner all morning.  I was a mess of anxiety, and meds, and discomfort.

But then my phone started to light up.  It was filled with people offering prayers and support on this anxiety ridden day and it brought immediate comfort to me as always.  They never forget!   But there was also another small gem in the midst of those texts too.

And by small, I mean HUGE, really, really HUGE, well that is if you're a shy girl like me.

Because I am.  Truly.  A shy girl.

And what I did, shocked me beyond belief.

I decided to "live a little."  And it had something to do with this...  but let me explain.

Because I decided to "live a little" at the exact time my friend, our sweet Sara, lay clinging to merely a thread of life.

And I felt helpless.

Like I couldn't be there for her.

And I couldn't wrap my arms around her and lay in bed with her like I longed to do.

I couldn't lay eyes on her, talk to her, or hear from her anymore.

But I could do this...

Because she'd tell me to, in fact she'd hound me and badger me to.  She'd tell me I was good enough, worthy enough, deserving.  Because she could just read my heart and know the exact thing I needed to hear from her.

So I decided to do this for her, because of her.

Because she is the one who gave me the shift in perspective I needed to find the grace in the hard stuff from the very beginning.  And if you read my words, I am convinced, you'd see her influence on me through and through.

So several months back I was asked by one of the Co-Founders and Editors of On The Minds of Moms Magazine, Dani Parkos Fluge, to write something for them.  Anything in fact.  And at the lake this summer, one day, amidst the quiet and the sound of the water and the sunshine on my face, I did.  I opened my heart and a story fell out.

And then I didn't send it in.  I just didn't.  Maybe I was still afraid?  Its very humbling to put a piece of your heart out in the world, unprotected, especially when you are shy like me.  So it sat in a file on my desktop for weeks.

And then my world started turning on its head at the mere idea of not just losing Sara, but knowing I would be having surgery soon and chemo, and unlikely to be able to travel to her ever again.  So I prayed, and then cried, and then decided it was the one thing I could do for Sara.

And within hours of me sending off the story, I heard unequivocally, they wanted that story, just as it was.

And the texts I was receiving this morning?  Were because the new issue of OTMOM, was on the stands at the grocery store, and my story is in it!

The cover of the magazine...  the family on the cover happens to be another family we know and I was delighted to see their beautiful story told in this issue.

And, wow, here I am... those amazing family photos that Ria took for us, and graciously let the magazine use- thank you Ria! 

And the page that is so inspiring to me... to see myself amongst the ranks of women like Patricia Carlson whose work I've admired for so long.  Really?  

Dani Fluges let me know today that their website is featuring a link to the story in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  So if you don't live near my community and would like to read the story it is here.

Essentially the message is quite simple... "live your moments...  feel your aliveness.  Put your grace glasses on and live your best day today.  Expand.  Count your gifts.  You can see them in the tiniest moments.  If you are open to seeing them, they are all around us."

Thank you all for transforming this "tiny moment" today into something huge for me!  

OTMOM  has a facebook page that is steadily growing!  They are just shy of 3000 likes and have mentioned a giveaway if they could just get a few more people to like their page.  I'd be so honored to have you check it out and click the like button! 


  1. SO PROUD OF YOU!!! Sar would be too...she is...

    You are amazing. Strong. So beautiful.

    I'm praying for you today, but mostly? Mostly I'm just in awe of you standing up and living. Loving. Taking the beauty and seeing it in every day.

    YOU are a miracle.

  2. Oh this is just so wonderful, I'm so so pleased for you. Congratulations! ... sending much love your way x

  3. Amazing, Vicky. I am so proud of you. :)

  4. WOW Vicky!!! What an amazing accomplishment. Isn't it exciting when we do something out of our realm of comfort and are rewarded with success - and such public success! So well deserved.

    I'm grinning from ear to ear with happiness for you.

    You ARE so full of grace. I hope just a tiny bit of it rubs off on me when I visit you blog.

  5. Such tremendous news Vicky, interesting how a shy girl can come out of her shell to be the inspiration for so many. Congratulations on following your inner whisper and telling the story your heart knew to tell.
    Sara should be so proud too. :-)

  6. Fantastic!! Can't wait to read it! I liked their page...#2965...they're getting close :)

  7. You know how proud we are of you ... don't you?! Much grace for these days.

  8. Oh Vicky, I'm so proud of you for doing this. And I'm so proud of you for facing everything with such grace. He shines through you so much. You are incredible and I am so blessed to have you in my life! :)
    Big hugs friend. This made my day!

  9. congratulations to you, author exciting to be published !!

    just think of all the lives you're touching now !!


  10. Yayayayayayayayayay!!!!!! A shy girl's words mean more than an outgoing girl's words because the shy girl doesn't speak often but has profound insights to share. I hopped over here to see how your day has been, and I am ecstatic to hear this good, GREAT news!! Keep it up, girlfriend! god has given you a voice and truth to share. Will be stalking this blog until you post the link.

  11. So exciting!! Yay! Sara would be just proud as punch.

    Thank you for being vulnerable and telling your story.

    I'm sorry you had a challenging day today.


  12. vicky, you should edit this post to include the link.

  13. I love your words. ".....opened my heart and a story fell out." You write from your heart, and I am sooooo proud for you and of you.
    I'm thinking that Sara did a little dance in heaven today.... :)))
    Much love to you, Vicky.

  14. This is the COOLEST!!!! So great to see your face on the authors page!!! I am greatly looking forward to reading the article and I'm so happy for you. I know Sara would be thrilled. Good for you for taking the risk, Vicky. It's so scary but I know you'll touch so many people who need to hear from you in the way you needed to hear from Sara. LOVE YOU!

  15. Oh, yaaaaayyyyy!

    You have so much to say and you say it is such a beautiful way!! Your words, your spirit, your hope are now floating out to new people, entering new minds that need to hear your story.

    And how amazing it is that Sara's spirit is in the mix of all of this, empowering you to share the words that will empower others!

    This is when I have faith in the world! God created one wonderful place!

  16. Beautiful words, touching story...

    It's to see how God has richly blessed your life...

    Abundant Blessings,


  17. You did it Vicky. Yes, you were inspired, but really? It was all you...and God. I'm so proud of you. I was tempted to sneak a peek here, but I'm going to wait for a real copy so I can hold it in my hands. Weeeee!

  18. Wonderfull,

    I am sure, Sara is very proud of you and i am too.



    Love all that you share. I love when you speak of your grace glasses. I need to put mine on more often.

  20. What an amazing thing for you to experience! I am headed out the door right now,but I have this bookmarked so that I can read it. Becky told me that it is a wonderful article.

  21. Dani texted me right away when she received your story and told me they were bumping whatever was already planned for that space to make room for your article... it was that AMAZING. So proud of you for going ahead with it and love that more of those in our community got a chance to "hear" your words. I wouldn't be surprised to see your bio features on the contributors page regularly. :)


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