Choose Joy and a giveaway!

It might be my favorite gift of the holiday season.  Sara's book is being released January 5th-today!  I was lucky enough to be a part of the "launch team." Since we had a  PDF file of the book sent to us, imagine my utter delight in opening a package with Sara's and Mary's book inside!  

Sara blogged at Gitzen Girl starting 2008.  We were blogging buds from the start- and soul sisters shortly thereafter.  As my friend Robin, at All Things Heart and Home, so succinctly says in her post...

"Sara, a beautiful vibrant young woman, developed a rare autoimmune disease in her twenty’s and suffered with ever increasing and debilitating pain for nearly 20 years...  But something else was increasing throughout those years…Sara’s trust in God which resulted in Sara exuding this fantastically beautiful spirit of joy."  So well said, Robin!  If you want another beautiful perspective and a chance to win a copy of the book you should visit Robin today! 

It was months after my stage iv breast cancer diagnosis that our sweet Gitz went to her heavenly home, in 2011.  But first she took the time to breathe as much life into me, through her faith and joy filled words, on a "virtual couch," on facebook, she made for Robin and I too "sit" and talk with each other.

I brought the book to chemo and dove right in.  But it wasn't until this weekend that I truly squirreled myself away in quiet and found myself dog-earring pages.  Then underlining in pink.  Then writing notes in the margins.  Soaking it in, cherishing her words, embracing her keen insight and shedding fresh tears for how close her words make her feel to me.  That urge is ever present to fling out a text,  pound out an email, or pick up the phone and call.  Yet a part of me knows, shes here, close by, with the flush of her wings stirring the air every now and again.

As I sat thinking about her life, her lessons, and how she mentored me to live with a terminal diagnosis, long before I knew I would need it, I had also been looking for my new word for the year 2016.  

As I sat re-reading the passages I had underlined, I saw a theme keep showing up.  Two words.  And choose was always a part of them.  And while joy was often the second one, many other words were used as well.  Trust, hope, faith, gratitude, purpose, God, etc.

Then on page 27 she talks about the last time she went outside.  She'd gone to visit her doctor for what would be the last time.  And knowing her body would react in a harsh way to the air and allergens outside, she came back to the condo and relished a few minutes with her mom and dad on the patio.  

"A lot of things aren't going right because I left the house on Thursday.  But I choose the joy.  I choose the conversation, the relationships, the breeze and the sunshine.  And I especially choose the French fries."

That's our Sara!  And that's why I am choosing the word "choose," in honor of her.  I pray that "joy" is my go to word.  As she so wisely says "I choose the joy. When something is going badly and I'm dwelling on it, I think instead of something for which I am grateful for.  I swear to you, it's as simple as that.  You just have to decide today, and again tomorrow.  And before you know it, you'll have an attitude of joy more than any other attitude you have at your disposal."

Choose Joy

I hope all of you will get a chance to choose Sara's book= Choose Joy.  You may even find a few words in it from a friend of Sara's named, *cough* Vicky!  I knew of one of the parts, but to turn the page and suddenly see my name and one of the many, many questions I posed to her... humbled and honored to say the least.

So just in case you can't get your copy just now- In honor of our sweet Sara, I'd like to give one copy away!  

Please leave a comment below and I'll pick a winner at 5 pm on Thursday night through random.org with winner announced at a later date!  

I'm off to see Dr. Panwalkar today with results from my PET scan.  Then off to chemo infusion for the afternoon, hopefully wrapping up in time for Nolan's hockey games tonight.  

Its a blessed day- I pray you all decide to "choose," to live it to its fullest today! 

Because of Sara Frankl... On The Minds Of Moms

I'll admit I'm a little hopped up on steroids right now, and Claritin, and Lorazepam and a little Ranitidine for good measure.  And I've been drinking yucky things and having an iv full of dye contrast shot into me as I barreled in and out of the CT scanner all morning.  I was a mess of anxiety, and meds, and discomfort.

But then my phone started to light up.  It was filled with people offering prayers and support on this anxiety ridden day and it brought immediate comfort to me as always.  They never forget!   But there was also another small gem in the midst of those texts too.

And by small, I mean HUGE, really, really HUGE, well that is if you're a shy girl like me.

Because I am.  Truly.  A shy girl.

And what I did, shocked me beyond belief.

I decided to "live a little."  And it had something to do with this...  but let me explain.

Because I decided to "live a little" at the exact time my friend, our sweet Sara, lay clinging to merely a thread of life.

And I felt helpless.

Like I couldn't be there for her.

And I couldn't wrap my arms around her and lay in bed with her like I longed to do.

I couldn't lay eyes on her, talk to her, or hear from her anymore.

But I could do this...

Because she'd tell me to, in fact she'd hound me and badger me to.  She'd tell me I was good enough, worthy enough, deserving.  Because she could just read my heart and know the exact thing I needed to hear from her.

So I decided to do this for her, because of her.

Because she is the one who gave me the shift in perspective I needed to find the grace in the hard stuff from the very beginning.  And if you read my words, I am convinced, you'd see her influence on me through and through.



So several months back I was asked by one of the Co-Founders and Editors of On The Minds of Moms Magazine, Dani Parkos Fluge, to write something for them.  Anything in fact.  And at the lake this summer, one day, amidst the quiet and the sound of the water and the sunshine on my face, I did.  I opened my heart and a story fell out.

And then I didn't send it in.  I just didn't.  Maybe I was still afraid?  Its very humbling to put a piece of your heart out in the world, unprotected, especially when you are shy like me.  So it sat in a file on my desktop for weeks.

And then my world started turning on its head at the mere idea of not just losing Sara, but knowing I would be having surgery soon and chemo, and unlikely to be able to travel to her ever again.  So I prayed, and then cried, and then decided it was the one thing I could do for Sara.


And within hours of me sending off the story, I heard unequivocally, they wanted that story, just as it was.


And the texts I was receiving this morning?  Were because the new issue of OTMOM, was on the stands at the grocery store, and my story is in it!



The cover of the magazine...  the family on the cover happens to be another family we know and I was delighted to see their beautiful story told in this issue.

And, wow, here I am... those amazing family photos that Ria took for us, and graciously let the magazine use- thank you Ria! 

And the page that is so inspiring to me... to see myself amongst the ranks of women like Patricia Carlson whose work I've admired for so long.  Really?  

Dani Fluges let me know today that their website is featuring a link to the story in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  So if you don't live near my community and would like to read the story it is here.

Essentially the message is quite simple... "live your moments...  feel your aliveness.  Put your grace glasses on and live your best day today.  Expand.  Count your gifts.  You can see them in the tiniest moments.  If you are open to seeing them, they are all around us."

Thank you all for transforming this "tiny moment" today into something huge for me!  

OTMOM  has a facebook page that is steadily growing!  They are just shy of 3000 likes and have mentioned a giveaway if they could just get a few more people to like their page.  I'd be so honored to have you check it out and click the like button!