Happy 12th Birthday Nolan!

Nolan,

I can't look at your face and honestly call you "Peanut" anymore.  To say you've grown just doesn't even come close this year.  We now look eye to eye- and I'm not that short.  You jumped two skate sizes since the last pair we got you in December.  Thank goodness we can "lease" your skates.  Your shoe size is a 10 and you can no longer put Mom's shoes on- now you have to reach for Dad's.

Its a mighty pull on my heart that you don't want me to bring you lunch at school tomorrow and sit and eat with you.  You won't even meet my eye when I offer, you just squirm and say no thanks.  Sigh.  Everything changes so quick. Although, you still sneak upstairs to our room, in the middle of the night.

You are king of asking 1,000 questions.  They come so fast sometimes we have hardly answered one before you ask the next one.  I love it when you ask me things like, "I wonder what Matt Cullen eats for breakfast?"  Or, "Do you think Sidney Crosby drives a "Lambordini?"  We gently try to tell you "Lamborghini," but that one hasn't quite made its way all the way into your brain yet.  You just think we have answers for everything, and that makes me want to keep you 11 forever.

You continue to wear your heart on your sleeve.  You are the emotional barometer for our family.  When we get tense, or stressed or our burdens weigh us down, you reflect that tension in your demeanor.  It all becomes a little too much for you, and your intensity oozes out of you like a slowly released pop-top.  We all jump in to rescue you before you fizz your sticky-sweet all over.  

But then you surprise me with what I suspect has been eating away at you.  "Mom, is stage IV cancer bad? Like how many stages are there anyway?" You glance out the car window as I search for words.  I tell you, "there are stages 1-4 and mommy has stage 4. Its called stage 4 when it shows up in more than one place in your body.  Its not bad, its not good- it just is. Does that answer your question?  "yeah, can we have chinese food for supper?" That's my boy.  Every hard topic should be followed up with food.  

Happy Birthday Nolie!  Your baby nursery had yellow moons and blue stars for its theme.  Of course you reached up from your crib and picked off the wallpaper border when you were supposed to be sleeping and Grandma had to glue it back twice.  But I'd whisper to you every night- I love you to the moon and back."  And thats the part that won't ever change, no matter how old you are, or how big you get.


Love you buddy,
Mom