Undone

It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold:  when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade.  ~Charles Dickens

The daffodils showed up by surprise on the doorstep the other day.  Thank you, they sure brought sunshine into our home!

Sue brought this over with a DQ card tucked inside... thank you Sue!

I'm on double time.  Spring is either giving us a test run or settling in long before anyone could have guessed it would.  So I am rummaging for t-shirts and shorts, while throwing snow boots and pants into nearby storage- just in case.  I'm scrubbing remnants of leftover winter- salty-muddy- gravelly mess all across the floor of the closet.  I take everything out and clean and sort and then grow too breathless to finish. The piles of shoes sit there, next to the vacuum cleaner with the tangled cord I am now too tired to drag back to the bedroom.

Everywhere I look, half completed projects abound.  So much undone. All of the dishes don't make it in the dishwasher anymore, and the clean ones don't always get to the cupboard either.  I'm actually too tired to cringe when someone stops by!  Welcome to the mess, our life is so fully entangled in it, we don't even notice the mess anymore.

But I do get the hint that my energy surge is sapped.  When I start coughing and the fire in my lungs won't cease, I stop spring cleaning and go radio silent for a day or two.  I curl up with "The Hunger Games," and lose myself in the story of a girl just trying to overcome incredulous amounts of danger and peril hurtling her way at rip-roaring speed.  I relate to her and her journey.  Its weird how much I cheer her on and will her to keep standing up and fighting back.  She is against the odds, and she is my kind of girl.

Chemo went well this am.  My blood counts rebounded nicely.  And in fact, I got the call from the radiation department that I will have the brain blob obliterated tomorrow afternoon!  I will start my xanax at home and then I will go in at 1:45 pm and start treatment at 2:10.

Will you pray for me?

Will you pray that I am able to put on my mask and hold still for the entire treatment?  That the radiation truly "targets" the bad cells and leaves as many as the healthy ones behind as it can?  That my Xanax cocktail provides me with just the right amount of sedation to keep my frayed nerves from unraveling?

  

Thank you.

Be back soon!