Who's beside you?

The tightness in my chest is new. It hovers and bears down, but doesn't actually take my breath away. I stay home from hockey, New Year's Eve day. I wait. It stays. On and off it presents in a vague annoying way. Last night when it surfaced again, I went to my mini pharmacy in the cupboard and took some meds. I lay down. I fall asleep and awake to relief. No constriction, no dull throb, for awhile. But if and when it comes back, I know I will have to see Dr. Panwalkar, before next week. It weighs on me.

But a knock at the door served to pull me out of myself.  Distraction keeps me sane and quiets the worry of the voice in my head.  I pored over this gift, caught up in the enormity and magnitude of what this past 9 months has entailed.  My friend Nancy created a scrapbook for me, made from photos and a guestbook used at the benefit held in my honor last May.  Her work is artistic and her layouts jump off the page.

To think, the benefit committee organized, planned and achieved a completely successful benefit that literally is helping to save my life.  I have yet to count, but we read each and every name on the guest book list, and I have to say there are hundreds and hundreds of them- maybe even a thousand names of attendees.  I instantly felt washed in the light that still emanates through the pages of care and concern and prayers for our family- for me. 

The pages are filled with the perfect quotes... and I pause when I get to this one.  

I think Nancy may have inspired me to complete a scrapbook of my own.  The benefit was just the jumping off point and I have so much I could display in photos and layouts... I love a good project! 

I awoke this morning to the light of the sun splashing pastels across the sky.  The air is warm when I go to get the newspaper and so far this a winter unlike any other we've had in awhile- its rather an un-winter and I it sits well with me.

As the house quieted this morning, there was one more knock at the door.  Kendria (isn't that a beautiful name?)  had written a beautiful and heartfelt note to me before Christmas.  Today, she sent me an angel of "Courage" with a Fight Like a Girl sign she handcrafted!  I caught the sun streaming in and loved how it highlighted all the important parts.  She looks rather "victorious" to me. 

I am so genuinely moved every time someone thoughtfully encourages and blesses me.  I am realizing what it does for me... it squelches worry.  It quiets the tightness in my chest.  It overshadows fear.  It fills me with hope... and longing... to be worthy of so much abundance.