Monday, December 12, 2011

Black and blue

Just an hour before I was headed out the door to work at Nolan's Pee Wee tournament on Friday Rick's voice alarmed me as I got out of the shower. "What's that on your backside?" I think I viscerally started to respond before I even looked. I can fly into panic apparently in 1.2 seconds. I scanned the area above my tail bone quickly in the mirror. My eyes lasered in on two perfectly round spots about the size of a dime, black and blue in color. Hmmm, bruises? Right there? I haven't fallen, or bumped into anything, or... have I? I know I will have to call the Doctor. I know I may be late for work at the tournament.

I call the research nurse and she is on vacation. But it just so happens I've met the other nurse and she remembers me. "Maybe your platelets have bottomed out?" Of course, purpura is caused by low platelets. Maybe I'll need to come in and be seen. Or maybe I'll just need a blood draw to get to the bottom of it- oh, no pun intended. But the nurse decides to run it past Dr. Panwalkar just to be sure.

I'm reeling with possibilities. What if? What if? What if? I can't seem to take a deep breath. The last time I thought "its merely a cyst," well look where that got me?

So we start to put all kinds of plans together. I will go the rink until I hear something. I regain my focus and head to the rink ready to help with credentials for teams arriving at our tournament.

Within the hour my phone rings. The nurse has a lightness to her voice when she asks for me. "Dr. Panwalkar says you are too skinny. He is not worried about it- go eat something- go have some Christmas cookies or something." She laughs. When I know he isn't worried, I won't be either. Crisis averted. I breathe.


Thursday night while at practice with Nolan I heard the team had been asked by the coaches to "dress up" the day of the tournament.  Nolan and I dashed out the door to see what we could find for the next day.  The team colors are black and orange and he wanted some combination of those.  He needed the works- shirt, tie, pants, and shoes.  Would you believe we found it all in one store, on sale and in his size in under an hour?  He was so earnest in getting the right fit and look and completely hung on my every word.  It was such a fun experience with him.  While I can't convince him to do cut his hair any shorter, he still cleans up pretty well!

The trophy for the champion.  The tournament is actually named after a high school classmate of mine, Steve Dorsey.  He was crushed by the boards in a high school hockey game and has been paralyzed in a wheel chair ever since.  But he has lived a full life by all accounts and its an honor to see my son play in a tourney with his name on it.  

Brady's big brother Ryan plays on Nolan's team.  Another year or two and he'll be ready for his own hockey career to start! 

These are Brady's sisters Olivia and Kate.  The definitely gave me something to smile about...

because our boys continue to struggle on the ice.  They are being asked in their first year to step up and play at an A level when they don't have much experience playing at a Pee Wee level. So its been hard to watch and the lessons are unfolding at a fast rate for all of us.  But I am convinced, there is glory amongst the hard and messy in life.  You just have to be willing to dig for it.  Keep digging boys, we know you have it in you.  


  1. Okay...I am laughing a little here and I'll share why:

    1. Ryan told me Monday about the dress up thing. I made THREE different trips to the mall, until I finally got it right. He also has a nice blue shirt and tie ready to go. But nooooo, all the boys where wearing black and orange. An angel was watching over you for that to go smoothly.

    2. Brady...what a ham! And thanks for including the girls. :)

    3. Vicky I'd be frightened too. (and this I am NOT laughing about) How scary. For those of your readers who don't know this, you are at every event possible. You always have a smile on, put off a radiant energy, and look amazing. You sure are putting chemo and cancer to shame!

    And if you do ever have to miss, don't worry. Based on this year's luck, we know the outcome. I am glad I got to see you looking happy and healthy this weekend.

  2. My first thought when I read about the bruises was that you had sat against something that made those marks. My husband used to have marks on his back regularly from sitting against the buttons on tufted chairs.
    I'm glad to read of your relief.

    Nolan looks so handsome in his black and orange.

    Thank you for your comment on my blog. That post may have come off with more despair than I really feel. It's an intermittent thing because mostly I feel very blessed. I have wonderful children and friends. It was really hard to lose 2 close friends so close to losing my Mom. It was not easy to hear of your cancer either. I know it's a stupid thing to say, but you don't deserve to struggle. No one does. I guess we can ask 'why' 'til we're blue in the face and there's no answer except, 'it just IS.' Maybe the warts on our bodies that we deal with help us refine the warts we feel we have in our characters.

    I appreciate your words and your life and how you express it SO MUCH!

  3. There IS glory is this hard a messy life! Sometimes, it's not as easy to find as others, but it's there, if we keep the faith, keep looking!

    Oh, scary, scary bruises. I love the Rx for this one...have a cookie! That advice must have felt amazing! Maybe two cookies, just to be sure!

    Be well, Dear Vicky!

  4. I can only add my "amen" to what the others have said. Your smile says so much.

  5. thank goodness nothing to worry about!

    Nolan is so handsome!

    You are beautiful! That smile - makes my heart smile! Keep expanding yourself - you are a true inspriation!

    I am still going to email you :)


  6. Well, hurray for being too skinny (hurray in more ways than one LOL).

  7. Ever think about sending out an SOS prayer text, honey? Would've been happy to lift you up. Gad the crisis didn't last too long. That Dr. P, he's a funny one. I'd keep him.

    Nolan looks so handsome! Could end up with a clothes horse on your hands!

  8. ...and eat some cookies, Vicky..will ya?...

    seriously, tho.. you look beautiful in that last picture, skinny arse or no.

    Have a good week!...

    oh, and I hate when they ask young athletes to play above their level. My daughter's basketball team had to endure the same, and it was rough going. Alot of tears.

  9. Your son looks gorgeous and happy .They sure look good when all dressed up :)
    I am glad the bruises are nothing to worry about .
    I bruise easily too and never know where they come from lol

  10. I am glad that the black and blu thing turned out ok. Nolan looks quite dashing!!!

  11. Come Vicky...have more cookies,please? pretty please? you got to eat more (doctor's orders...)

    I felt a punch in my stomach reading the first paragraph. I am so relieved to know it is nothing to worry about.

    I love this sentence...there is glory amongst the hard and messy in life...So true, sweet Vicky.

    Sending you loving and healing energy :-)

  12. Vicky, apparently you were so busy giving out cookies last week that you didn't take enough for yourself. Oh my, isn't it crazy how our minds can take off? We can feel so much at peace one day and then...bam. I can relate! Hang in there, sweet friend. We're all in this life thing together, with our joys and sorrows, fears and triumphs. You are doing so well and you look so cute with those cute girls. What a trio. Speaking of cute, your! Isn't that fun to see them looking all sharp? It's a little jarring too in some ways; at least for me. BTW, my oldest son is finally wearing his hair shorter. For now anyway. Hair length can change. No big. :) Thinking of you this week...

  13. Vicky, Vicky.....please treat yourself to some cookies and ICE CREAM!

    Wow, look at Nolan. He sure is looking grown up. Nice colors!

  14. I'm in agreement with your friends and family that commented here. Dear Vicky: eat something decadent and fattening...ASAP.
    I love the photo of Nolan with his kool koloured shirt and tie...and am loving those shiny shoes, too! He's gorgeous.
    Hugs to you, my friend. Know that I continue to hold you up in each thought and prayer to our Lord.
    Love you,


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