Wednesday, June 13, 2012

What fills the days and nights...

It breaks your heart. 
 It is designed to break your heart. 
 The game begins in spring, 
when everything else begins again, 
and it blossoms in the summer, 
filling the afternoons and evenings, 
and then as soon as the chill rains come, 
it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone.

 ~A. Bartlett Giamatti, "The Green Fields of the Mind," Yale Alumni Magazine, November 1977

Nolan pitched the first couple of innings of his second game last night.  His coach, Coach Tehran, played baseball with Rick in college.  After facing just a few batters, Coach made a quick trip to the mound.  It  must have worked, Nolan pitched another inning afterwards.

He is growing his mother's long legs.  He has man sized feet, and needs adult sized shoes and pants.  "Growing," is more like "rocketing" in Nolan's case.  

My mom, Mary, came out to watch.  Even with the sun out it was only low 70's and with the wind it was chilly.

The sun was producing some of my favorite kind of light- but I didn't quite get it the way I had hoped.  Plus I spend so much time chatting with friends, I forget I even have the camera with some days.

Nolan and his friend Jacob- trying not to smile, and letting just enough of a smirk through to let me know, those little boys are still in there somewhere.  

I had to dash back to wound care today.  I had a completely scabbed over wound, but when the scab fell off, it left hypertrophic granulation behind, which is way more granulation than I need.  I had to have it cauterized again today.  Sigh.  On the plus side, it could mean the Tamoxifen is kicking in and doing its job.  Cancer at a standstill in other words.  The wound just doesn't register as anything more than a nuisance when you think of it in those terms. 

I even ordered a mastectomy swim suit for the summer... I'm never without hope!


  1. Hooray for sons who play baseball and pitch too!! Thank goodness for the little boy still inside them! And bitter sweet that they grow and grow!! And if I was sitting in the stands with you, I too would be very chatty and likely miss something important or not take any pictures!

    Travis played little league until last season when he aged out :( and decided NOT to go onto juniors because of school and other committments. I was a bit sad because I so miss watching him play baseball! But I admire his forsight in knowing he would be too busy with other things to be fully committed to the team. In his last 2 seasons he played catcher the most.

    I loved this post today!

    Love and light to you!!

  2. Boys will always be boys and they will always have the little boy in them
    I look at my aging husband and to me he is still the young fella I met years ago
    I look at my boys and they tell me we are grown up Mom and I laugh. You'll be grown up when you reach my age and that you never will guys lol

    I look at myself and this girl is still 23. (Thats on the inside lol)

    I am glad you are holding on there.
    I had hoped the wound would have healed by now.You look great!

  3. Here's hoping the chemo is doing it's job. Sorry you're dealing with that wound. And I totally looked up granulation.

    I guess it just shows how different our climate is that baseball in tennessee is over by June 1 because of the heat. (although we've had a very mild June so far)

  4. Wish you weren't dealing with this wound, Vicky, but I'm so glad you're out and about and embracing life and even swimsuits. This is SUCH a big growing age for Nolan. I remember when Hunter went from standing under my chin to, within 18 months, I stood under HIS chin. But they're still our babies...just don't tell them. :)

  5. It's been windy and cold here, too. Where we would be without hope?! Blessings for an enjoyable summer.

  6. Vicki I so know what you mean about growing so fast - mine are 44 & 41, but I can remember when Scott (41) hit the growth spurt - overnite! He's always made a joke that NOW he can look down on Mom - but guess who he really looks up to? lol

    I think of you daily, so glad you're still 'fighting like a girl', blessings & hugs to you - I knew all those Angels would help you.

  7. Love it when the sun dances for us, even if we miss it in our lens. I do that too. Beautiful shots, still, and I love the grumpy faces. My grumpy-faced son was in the paper on Tuesday. He had the slightest smirk. You might not have been able to tell if you didn't know better. :) And the hope comment, ah, yes, we ALL need that...daily. I'm tickled to know you ordered that, Vicky. Good for you! Hugs...

  8. Dearest Vicky,
    What a wonderful time of year for family activities. Your son, Nolan, is quite the sportsman. I remember when my boys were in Little League. I felt like my second home was the ball park.

    It makes me ache a bit hearing about your need for cauterization. You are a brave soul. I know where your strength and hope are coming from...and, that makes me happy!
    I continue to pray daily for you, my dear sister in the Lord!
    I'm glad you enjoyed the old timey black and white advertisement for Patti Play Pal. I had fun putting the post together.

  9. Your young men are precious Vicki! Just want to remind you,we are NEVER alone. Jesus said He'd be with us ALWAYS! Love & prayers, Cynthia

  10. Our children sure grow up fast. Cherish them everyday!

    Tamoxifen? My mom was on that for 15 years after her breast cancer.

  11. Sounds like Summer break is in full swing over there with baseball and everything else! That's nice your Mom went to the game.
    Sorry to hear you're having the issue with the wound. I hope it mends up soon.
    Thinking of you sweet Vicky!
    PS--I met up with my ND friend the other night here in Vegas (she comes here a few times a year). She now lives in Grandforks. Small world, huh?!! :)


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