Uff da

My computer fried in the storm the other day. So I am attempting a post from the IPad. I am hoping Superman has super techy powers as that computer is on life support and without it I feel as though I am too.

I met with Dr. Bouton, the breast surgeon yesterday. He had a cancellation and so I grabbed the chance to get in to see him. Of course we have just two things planned for August, a golf tourney benefit, on the 11th, and a big trip to the ocean on the 18th or so. But we sat quietly listening to the surgeons busy schedule. His first opening was August 10th. Shoot... The room grew quiet. I took a breath and told him about the benefit. He sat for a moment and then said he'd make some calls and see what he could do. Maybe it was his Texas cowboy charm, or I don't know what act of God given grace occurred, but he came back with a date of August 12th. Thank you God.

With a mastectomy date on board, we now have a few more hurdles to clear. I need to complete genetic counseling, have lab work done, and come Friday I get shoved up in the MRI tube again. As if going head first weren't claustrophobic enough, this time I will go face down. I promptly asked for sedation and have been told two Xanax will be awaiting me at the pharmacy Thursday.

With no clear path opening in front of me as to reconstruction, I will meet with a plastic surgeon sometime after surgery. Again, stage IV rears it's ugly head and managing disease is more urgent than a pretty new breast. However, in time I may be a candidate for DIEP flap surgery which uses stomach tissue to reconstruct a natural breast-it's like a tummy tuck, boob job wrapped into one! I'm starting to feel a bit like a modern day Humpty-Dumpty!

Of course if I am found to have the breast cancer gene, than we may have to take the other breast as well at some point. However, because I am still in active treatment, One incision is all I can manage for now. My blood counts are still a little low and we want to ensure I can heal and still withstand chemotherapy.

So if I am being honest? I am a little sad. A little nervous. But still standing. Still fighting. And mostly feeling washed in Grace and abundance. Thank you for continuing to walk this journey with me... "everyday is a winding road..."