Embracing Life...

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, or worn. It is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.” - Denis Waitley

If I had to summarize my experience Wednesday at the first annual Edith Sanford Embracing Life- Breast Cancer Survivor's Retreat, I would use those three words- it was a day filled with love, grace, and gratitude.  

We had an amazing day!

Rustic Oaks was such a beautifully charming, and serene setting for the event.  It was very cool and cloudy when I arrived early in the day.

The outdoor fire pit was roaring when we arrived, yet it just didn't warm up enough for us to enjoy time outside of the barn, and it was mere cinders by early afternoon when I finally got outside.

This is what greeted us at our tables.  A cute burlap bag filled with river rocks that we were instructed to write on throughout the day.  The first rock, fear, was done for each of us.

I was assigned to the technology table to host a roundtable chat session.  

Here was the stage!  A point somewhere near the screen for us to stand in front of the 100 or so women survivors in attendance.  It was a full house barn!

Rustic and quaint and charming all come to mind when you see the layout of the building.  What a great place for a retreat!

The only struggle I truly had- was trying to take photos with the lack of strong lighting and a cloudy day.  I also wanted to be present and not too distracted so I could take it all in.  

Shortly after I shot the above photo- the room filled and we were under way.  We had an opening speaker and a welcoming presentation from Dr. Shelby Terstriep.  I was seated at a side table for speakers, and was being miked at the time.  I was amazingly calm.  I just wanted to take it all in.

Then a photo of me flashed up on the screen and I got a wonderful introduction from Shelby.  

The next 10 minutes flew by.  I could feel myself being intently listened too. I saw rapt attention on the faces of the other women.  What really enveloped me, was a raw understanding, that I was in the midst of women who spoke the same language as me.  Who were unequivocally, living in my cancer world, just like me.  

And so when I was done speaking?  The most profoundly amazing thing happened... they all stood up. Applause thundered throughout the room.  It vibrated my port!  And touched me to the core of my being.  It was profoundly moving.  Throughout the day- ALL of the presenters were given that same rousing round of applause and standing ovation- over and over again- because- we were clearly a sisterhood of survivors.  Of women warriors.  Of people, bonded by something far bigger than us. 

As soon as my 10 minutes were up, I got the privilege and honor to introduce Dr. Panwalkar.  Since he was closer to where I was sitting, I managed a couple of photos. 

Dr. P surprised me with saying some kind words about me, and then spent the next 30 minutes or so presenting on Breast Cancer Management- a brief history of where it's been and where its headed.

He was a dynamic and engaging speaker.  I love seeing the "teacher" come out in him. 

He was also very well received by the audience and when he finished, one of the women half-ways stood up and thanked him directly.  She was clearly in the midst of her cancer battle, using a cane to help stand up, with a scarf secured over her head.  But she told him as a stage iv survivor, she was thrilled by how hope-filled his message was and how positive he sounded.

Pretty sure I was beaming.  That's the Dr. P I've grown to know and admire so much. 

I even managed a short clip of his presentation, below.  

And then, while in the midst of our next speaker who was doing some meditation with us... Dr. Panwalkar quietly left the retreat.

I was so bummed I didn't get a chance to say anything to him.  When I spoke of my gratitude journal earlier in my presentation, what I didn't say is that the one thing that has consistently shown up page- after page- is his name.  All the little, all the big- all the ways he has seen me through.  

The rest of the afternoon was filled with breakout sessions.  They were on a variety of topics and so engaging and filled with helpful information.  Its occurred to me, that along with a cancer diagnosis, comes a crash course in all things related to having cancer.  It instantly makes us students.  And what was so evident to me, is how much knowledge and wisdom these women have gained throughout their journeys.

Breast cancer has clearly transformed how so many of us have chosen to live life.  The other thing that struck me was how none of us stage iv survivors/speakers, had ever met before.  But our speeches were interlaced with the words, gratitude, love, grace and living fully in the present moments.  We may each have had our own take, our own story, but they were so similar in those common elements and it was really a moving discovery.

The sun came out for a few short minutes, but quickly disappeared under the clouds again.

This is my friend Kristin, who just completed treatment and celebrated one year since diagnosis!  She is a beautiful woman-inside and out, and I have loved getting to know her. Kristin was asked to participate in the creation of this beautiful glass sculpture piece.  

Kristin added the logo of our Breast Friends Cancer Support Group. So neat to see the artwork!  It will be auctioned off with funds going to support breast cancer survivors here in our local community.

I tried so hard to garner a photo of Shelby Terstriep.  But she was one busy and engaged woman and this is not my photo.  I was just honored to get to meet her finally Wednesday.  Her patients all speak so lovingly of her, and its clear after our day with her- why they do. 

Our final speaker, was a stage iv breast cancer patient of Shelby's.  And she brought us all to tears.  She  says Shelby is the type of doctor who celebrates your victories with you, and sheds tears of sadness with you when the news is less than desirable.  She teaches you, brings research to you, and makes you feel like you matter.  

Clearly- Shelby was all of that yesterday, and so much more.  Her and her team did an outstanding job at the retreat.  Her vision for the future of breast cancer treatment and it's survivors seems truly to be her life's mission.  

That bag of rocks we all wrote out words on?  Went home with us.  The one with the word fear written on it?  Thrown in the river bed by the side of the barn at the end of the day. Clearly, not needed by any of us, with all the tools we were armed with that day, to put fear in its place.

I left the retreat  inspired, moved, and touched.

It's here!

The knock on my door caught me by surprise last night.  I opened the door expecting to see one of the neighborhood kids.  But no- it was Dani, the editor/cofounder of OTMOM standing with a "hot off the press" bundle of magazines!  

Its funny the thoughts that run through your mind.  I'd been weeding the tomato plants and they were strewn all over.  Plus I had sweated off half my make up and was in the midst of scouring my face.  Rick had carted home boxes of yearbooks and they are stacked in my entry way.  Then you add in all the dog bones and toys, the kids shoes, and the boy stuff and oh my- my house was just a hot mess.

And then I just didn't care.  It's Dani!  The "on the minds of moms" magazines are officially here!  

It was Dani who contacted me about her idea for the story.  Sheri and Dani would come to my house and interview me.  Then Sheri would skillfully craft our story together using part interview, and part posts from my blog. The concept was brilliant! The story makes my heart swoon.  Have I said what a lucky girl I am?  Because... I so am. 

So if you'd like to read the story in full, you will find the link to the story by clicking over here:

 vicky westra: in a word.  

Please feel free to "like" their page and leave them some love. 

This is their FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!  Will you say hello- to Dani and Sheri? Wish them well- celebrate their awesomeness just a little?  

Thanks again to Ria for her beautiful work!  You know we are saving up so we can plaster our walls with just a few, cough, many of these one day soon! 

One last question for you?  If you live locally you can find a magazine at the following locations if you check here.

But so many of my readers live all across the country.  If you would like a magazine of your own- will you kindly email me and let me know?  We will do our level best to mail one your way if you would like!  

Email me at: vwestra14@gmail.com

Blessings and love to one and all! 

Where I used to live...

Before I share another stretch of our trip... I wanted to say thank you.  The response to my Edith Sanford Breast Cancer Foundation video has been overwhelming.  I was so emotional the day it debuted and worried.  I felt exposed in ways I haven't before.  I also hadn't prepared Rick to not show it to the boys before we saw it for ourselves.  So the three of them watched it while I attended book club.  It prompted some long discussions with the boys later that night, especially Nolan who admitted he never thought he could lose his mom.  

I think it was important that we had that discussion.  We knew a time would come when we would need to find a way to approach that aspect.  Because I am overall doing well, perhaps now was the perfect timing.  I'm reminded again, always His perfect timing.

1135 miles from our doorstep is Twin Falls, Idaho- where Rick and I and the boys used to live.  Its a small-ish community of 35,000 or so and is surrounded by the mountains.  What you don't see when you travel into the city limits at night over the Perrinne Bridge, is the steep and wide canyon on either side of the snake river.  And yes, for those that remember Evel Knievel, this was the canyon he attempted to jump and failed. 

Its a breathtaking view, crossing the bridge which connects one side of the canyon to the other. We only had a few hours to spend in Twin Falls, as we were headed to Boise that afternoon. 

There are two golf courses on either side of the canyon.  We had a junior membership to the country club and lived at the golf course before the boys entered our lives.

There are waterfalls and springs all along the sides of the canyon.  

There is a walkway behind this waterfall.  The rocks are so slippery I have never attempted it, but Rick has done it.  

We did not have enough time to visit Shoshone Falls, although I've included a picture.  Often times people think these are the Twin Falls that the town is named after, but they are not.  They are however pretty spectacular!  Almost always, a rainbow can be seen.  

For nostalgia, we drove past Canyonview Psychiatric and Addiction Services Facility where I used to work.  It hasn't changed much.  By the time we left Twin Falls in 2003, most of the staff had already turned over again.  

The boys always want to see their first house.  Our tiny first house on the corner of Navajo Loop.  Gosh I loved that house.  

It was dinner time when we arrived in Boise.  Rick had a spot he wanted to visit.  Platt Gardens at the Boise Depot.  I was tired and grabbed my phone to instagram a few photos.  It was in the 70's and the sunshine felt so warm and light pouring through in breathtaking ways.

We would work all the next day shooting school day and sports photos.  We then drove all the way back to Idaho Falls, about 5 hours from Boise and started our return home.  I have just a few more photos to share...