Twinkling blue chases blue over and around the branches of the Christmas tree, illuminating decorations from decades gone by. The table is stacked with Christmas cards, some arriving and more departing, hopefully soon.
Gifts are strewn about under the tree, while still more hide in the dresser drawers of the kid's bedrooms. Shhh... don't tell... she smiles quietly to herself as the children ransack her closet in earnest search of the gift stash... only to come up empty handed time and again. Their dresser drawers, most assuredly, will be the last place they'll think to look.
Her Christmas wish list, for the first time in years, is reminiscent of her childhood wish lists. It's long and lengthy, filled with things only money can buy:
- A new vacuum cleaner, (she secretly hopes will not actually be given to her for Christmas)
- A new camera, one not so heavy she won't take it with, but not so compact everyone laughs when they realize its where her blog photos come from...
- A sofa, just because its time,
- And why not a trip to someplace warm? A girl can dream big.
Because, even a house overladen with Christmas accoutrements and a ridiculous Christmas wish list simply cannnot make up for what she would give anything for... to have her Dad here for one more Christmas.
So she'll fake it as best as she can. She'll bake away her sorrow, decorate her sadness, and knead her tears into the dough.
Somewhere between the glint of light shimmering off the freshly fallen snow, and the strains of Candle-lit Silent Night, she'll find it. She will likely have to ransack the rooms of her heart for the tapestry of Christmas memories with her Dad, woven over time for just such an occasion, but its here she'll find her Christmas.