Monday, September 20, 2010

The story of a girl...

This is the story of a girl...

who woke up on a Sunday missing her Dad.  Not just any Sunday, but his birthday when he would have turned 81.  And she was sad... and the skies were mottled and gray, dripping with her grief...

Until she noticed the pink around the edges of the grey, or what some would call the silver lining.

And so she started to think of happier times.  The crazy, goofy, silly times they had shared.

And how last year a great, big, huge, gathering of people squeezed themselves together in 1 tiny house to celebrate eighty years of a life well lived.  And the girl smiled, knowing exactly what she would do.

So she gathered up her family and went back to that tiny house.

And even though her father's shoes and his hat with the big cow on it were exactly where he had left them, she smiled.  With her family at her side she packed left behind belongings, cleaned up the yard, and sat wrapped in her memories.

Then the family loaded up the car and visited the Dad in his final resting place.

And when they tired of swatting at mosquitoes they left and enjoyed one last stop.

A little ice cream...

And a little cake to celebrate as the girl knew her daddy loved to do.  And even though she still missed him, her sky that day, was no longer dripping with grief. 


  1. Choosing to be joyous and accepting the sadness lining the edges of your day...made aother memorable day, Vicky.

  2. ... the story of a girl who has become a wise woman. I just know your father would be so proud of how you have handled his absence.

    The sharing of your process here is a real gift to all of your readers. Thank you.

  3. Your dad would be proud of how well you know how to live.

  4. Wanda, thank you. You hit on the core of my thoughts, the "choice" I was making. Thanks for sharing Wanda.

    Bonnie, what a lovely compliment, thank you. Honestly, some days this is me trying to be brave, but truly yesterday, I stepped forward choosing my emotions and it turned out well.

    Kass, its always a work in progress, but I hope to capture the days it works and not focus too heavily on all the days that I fail :) Thank you.

  5. Hi there, thanks for visiting my blog..I signed in to follow your blog too. I enjoyed the way you wrote this, it is a choice we all make as our parents go...I will always miss mine parents and think of them often. I know that they watch over me and one day we will be together again. Come say hi any time :D

  6. Oh Vicky!
    How similar we are. My Dads' hat, the one he wore for 25 years or more, still hangs on its hook where he left it and this is 10 years now.
    I have his tools which remind us of him every day but I can't visit his place of rest, because he is so far away.And every year I look for signs to see if there are messages sent to me via some magic from him
    Once I had a dream I answered the phone and heard him say "Hi!" so cheerful and healthy and then the phone clicked off like someone knew he was doing a bad thing, against some law.
    But my Dad was mischievous in life so he could do something like that. Get in touch when he wasn't supposed to but the way he said Hi, told me all I needed to know
    and made me feel much better.
    Your Dad was much loved in life and he will be much loved where he may be today.We will always be their children and I guess missing them will never be something that goes away.:) Bleesings sent your way.:)

  7. You are your Daddy's girl...
    When I saw the hat and shoes, I cried.
    Having cake on your Daddy's birthday ...knowing your Daddy loved to celebrate...touches me.
    You are such a sweet daughter, Vicky. I feel your love for him...always.

  8. “Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.”

    God gave us memories so we could remember the times we spent with those who are no longer in our lives. Yes, they do sometimes hurt but they are also filled with love. And, those memories can turn a dreary day into one filled with sunshine.

    Just remembering that he was given those celebrations during his lifetime and that it made him smile, is something you can hold close to your heart and you too can smile.

    I'm sure your was Dad smiling down upon you while you had cake and ice-cream on his birthday.

    Hugs Vicky!

  9. Vicky, is that tiramisu? You're a gal after my own heart.

    I'm sorry about your loss, but so happy you're working through it in your writing and living.

    Hugs from here, and wishes for many sunny days ahead, but to not discount the gray days that allow us to remember...

  10. it is a choice, isn't it ... but not always an easy one ...

  11. This is an amazing post and an awesome way to celebrate your father's life. You are so blessed to have had such a loving relationship with your father.

  12. You amaze me. I'm so glad that the whole family was able to get together to celebrate your dad's birthday. You help me feel better when I'm missing my dad lately. hugs...

  13. I forgot to mention in my last comment : You were such a cutie as a little girl :)

  14. The goal is to find the happiness in those memories, like you just did. It's hard sometimes, but thats my goal.And time will let that happen.

  15. Love you!!! I can't imagine how difficult it must be - you're in my thoughts!

  16. What a nice post Vicky. You sure loved your dad, and he loved you too.

    Your dad will always be in your heart. Loved your photos too.

  17. 80 years with a wonderful family.. life was good! Your father would love these posts, Vicky.. maybe he knows all about them :-)

  18. What is it with dad's and hats. My dad favourite hat still hangs in the same place 9 years on. At first I struggled to look at it but now it's very comforting to see. In a strange way it makes him still feel very much an important part of our family even today.

    Your Dad would be very proud of you and be smiling down upon you to see that you can still enjoy some cake

  19. Oh, make me cry!!!! My Dad died 17 years ago...and I've been bawling my eyes out for him this week. It comes in waves...But you are so wise...and you KNEW exactly what to do!!! Thank you for this beautiful and inspiring continue to be in my prayers daily!!!! Love you!! Janine XO

  20. I salute the exceptional strength you've shown and the serenity with which you're handling grief. May God be with you every step of the way


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