Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I couldn't have known...

I started this post, Monday July 12th...

I awoke today with a tingle on my nose. I had mildly sunburned just the top of my nose one day last week and was sure that is all it was, sunburn.

But it instantly brought me back... thirteen years ago to the day, (July 12th, 1997) I awoke to an overcast sky and a tingle on my nose from the fever blisters and sunburn I had acquired. Everyone assured me however, that rain on your wedding day was a sign of good luck.

So on that day, we heaped on make up. Thank goodness for Merle Norman. But honestly,  I felt too heady and giddy to care what my nose looked like.

All I really know is that the day flew by. I know the string quartet we hired played beautifully. I felt love surround me in the shape of family and friends who came to celebrate. The flowers were so pretty. My bouquet was heavy. My dad and I danced to the song Butterfly kisses and he told me it was the first time he had ever really danced at a Wedding dance. These are just some of the things I know...

What I couldn't have known, was that thirteen years later to the day (July 12th), the very same love, from the very same people, that surrounded me on our Wedding Day, would rise up and encircle me again, on the day we buried my father.

In fact, its that un-nameable thing, that I love the most about my husband. I didn't have to ask for his approval to have a funeral on "our" day... he was more than okay with quietly stepping aside in honor of my dad.


So we gathered again at the church. We were nervous about how well the new pastor, having only met Dad once, would portray him. We needn't have worried. He captured the heart and essence of my father to perfection. He pointed to each item, my dad, a woodworker, had made for the church. From the banner hanger that is used for funerals and baptisms, to the kiosk that stands in the narthex greeting everyone with announcements. He spoke of Dad's faith, and his love of his family.

My favorite part was when the microphone was passed and everyone had a story to share. We laughed and cried and laughed some more. I kid you not when I say at least 5 different nieces/nephews told me yesterday "He was my favorite uncle..."  The family that showed up to honor our Dad, took up the entire middle section of our church.  Love, overflowing.



Daddy's final resting place, is in a pine box, under a graceful, shady, apple tree. Seems fitting for a woodworker. Even more fitting, the man who used his hands to craft beauty out of wood, a carpenter, is in his heavenly home, with the greatest carpenter of all.

It turns out my nose, wasn't just sunburned... its covered... in fever blisters, the first time in thirteen years that has happened again.


As many of you know, I am not the only one mourning the loss of her Dad today. Our Sara, who blogs at Gitzen Girl, lost her father unexpectedly last Friday. Her Dad was on a lake in Minnesota and suffered a massive heart attack. He is being laid to rest today and due to Sara's illness, she will not be able to attend. Please visit Gitzen Girl today and leave her some encouragement and love.


  1. Vicky I have been thinking about you so much. My heart is breaking for you, and now to hear of Gitzen Girl, it reminds me that whenever we think things are bad, they can always be worse. How painful it must be to have to miss your father's funeral.
    I am glad you had a memorable final day for your dad...and the fever blisters are a sign from God!

  2. It is quite amazing the way things unfold. I have kept you in my thoughts Vicky, knowing this is a difficult time for you. I hope you find consolation in the demonstration by so many of how much they loved and respected your Father.

    How blessed you are to have had such a loving relationship and to have seen him enjoy your beautiful boys.

    Take care of yourself.

  3. I am so glad that you have so many sweet memories to help you through this difficult time. This is a beautiful story! 13 years is awesome!

  4. Oh Vicky, so glad that you felt at peace even with the blistery nose. Blessings with you in these next days. There will still be days that the power of missing him will be hard.

  5. You are in my thoughts Vicky and I am so happy to hear that everything went so well.
    It's important to have good memories because you carry them with you all your life.:)

  6. There is a tangible quality to the love that is displayed during these times. You'll be able to reach out and grasp it forever because it has so much substance.
    I love reading your life experiences. Your writing has a quality that is very touching and your photos capture the beauty and sadness.

  7. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
    Burying a loved one is always tough, but the memories we carry are priceless.

  8. Oh Vicky, THANK YOU for telling me about Sara. I had no idea as my blogging has taken a backseat to so many, many things. I will head right there.

    I love that your dad's funeral was so special and so PACKED and that many, MANY people wanted to share their memories and love of him. I contrast that with my stepdad's funeral last year and his brother's a few months back. Very few people, no one saying much, and thinking of the small and largely solitary lives they led. You're dad squeezed out every minute - and then gave them all back it would seem.

    The virus that causes those outbreaks hits us when we're the most stressed out. No wonder you are suffering. Get the medicine quickly and I hope you have relief very soon! Love to you.


  9. Again, so sorry for your loss. But isn't it interesting how the love of family and friends during times like these, really do make a difference.
    Thats what family and friendships are for.
    A great tribute to your Dad, and being the woodworker you say he was, it sounds like a perfect resting place for him.
    And your husband, your a lucky girl.

  10. Oh honey what a beautiful post! You've been on my mind. Hope you're doing okay. Hugs

  11. Another beautiful post Vicky. I've been thinking of you. Your father must have been smiling to see all that love gathered together for him. Hugs to you always.

  12. I'm such a firm believer in this like this are not just a coincidence. Your sunburned nose was a sign from your dad letting you know not to be afraid of what the day of his funeral would bring. Even though it is one of the most difficult days in your life it is also a day celebrate his life and be thankful that he was a part of your life.
    I hope you, your mom and all your family are coping as well as can be.

    The day my dad was lay to rest we woke to a perfectly formed love heart burnt into the grass on the front law by an unusual spring frost the night before.

    My birthday wishes for you are may you day be filled with smiles and hugs and may you always be surrounded by love

  13. I've been thinking of you Vicky and wondering how you were doing. I know this week has been a tough one but out of all that sadness comes an anniversary, a time to be glad also in a husband who is there to lovingly support you in your time of need. Hugs my friend!

  14. Vicky, I'm way behind on my blogging comments, but I finally got to read about your father. I am so sorry for your loss. Please sure to get some rest now.

    Treat yourself to a nice cold drink, sit back and think back to all those wonderful memories of your father. I'm sure he is smiling in heaven.

  15. Hi Vicky

    I love the way that you have woven this story to remind us that life is like a tapestry, that things are cyclic and interconnected...that life is a whole picture as well as all the separate scenes... and the love of family and friends is the most important thing of all...

    I have been thinking of you often..

    Happy days

  16. Oh dear! I feel so sad dear Vicky. Your husband has been extremely supportive and you are so blessed that way.

    Our lives are no less than the daily soap operas. With their twists and turns and cliches and anti-climaxes. All your friends here on blogger mourn with you and wish for you tremendous amount of strength and peace. Loads of love


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