Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Around the corner...



“You never know what's around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you've climbed a mountain.”


― Tom Hiddleston



I'm sitting in the exam room waiting for Dr. Panwalkar.  A steady flow of people pass by the open door.  My heart lurches a bit- the tiniest bit-every time I think it might be him.

Its always sudden.  Around the corner and in two strides he is in the room.  He sits down right away and starts looking at the computer.  

My blood work is good- reflecting that yes, I am having chemo with some elevated numbers, but nothing of concern.  

So he asks if I'd be willing to increase the dosage of Xeloda since I managed the last one okay.  The question of why is hovering about, but he is busy calculating percentages to tell me what to take.  He then smiles at me suddenly as he pulls his phone out of his pocket and uses the calculator on it to calculate how much he wants me to take.

Its a small amount really.  He assures me I can stop if I start having major side effects.  And I yield to his wisdom and trust.  I don't really need to know why right now, I'll just do.  

I notice how peaceful I feel.  

I cue off of him, he off of me.  I think we're okay.


He says he'll walk me to infusion.  

And as we round the corner, my friend Carrie, who works as a receptionist at the clinic, almost collides with us.  Dr. Panwalkar is in the midst of saying we'll keep watch over you to see how you do, and Carrie says, "Oh boy- you better!  Her and I go way back!  I hear him say "you do?" as she presses into me for a big hug as she continues... "and we need you to take very good care of her!"  

He then wraps his arms around my shoulder and hugs me and assures Carrie he will.  

Then we proceed around the corner.

I sit waiting.

When my name is called I am ushered into a corner of the dugout.  A bed is hunched against the wall tightly and a curtain is pressed in all around me.  I feel cocooned.  

I settle in with a warm blanket and angle the bed so I can sit up.  I'm about to drift off to sleep when around the corner a face emerges.

My favorite volunteer, Sandy.  Sandy had been taking care of her elderly and sickly mother and was gone from the infusion center.

I inquire about her mom, and she lights up saying "Oh she is Home, with Him, and free from suffering and pain."  Sandy is visibly filled with light.

And then she inquires about me and I tell her.  

And without saying a word, she closes the curtain all the way around and leans over me, grabbing my hand she prays- whispering grace filled words, covering me from head to toe.  I feel the sacredness of the moment.  

As I am leaving the infusion center,  I walk past 3 nurses, I haven't see in awhile.  More hugs, more reunions, more grace.

I went to infusion on a Tuesday thinking I'd get knocked down by a dose of chemo.

But instead I was infused with love.

Buoyed with faith.

Steeled with Grace.  

"...you never know what's around the corner..."
















40 comments:

  1. Just shared your blog post with another friend who is battling breast cancer. What a dose of good medicine your post was today (but you know I ALWAYS love what you write). So glad for the unpasteurized, unhomogenized milk of human kindness that flows from the heart of God. And they gave you lots of honey to go with it. Good stuff, my friend. Love you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Robynn, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend~ never the news any of us want to hear. I feel so blessed to have you share my post- I pray that it is an encouragement and helps shine a light back on His tender mercies for us all. Yes friend- lots of honey- love that you put it that way :)

      Love to you sweet friend~

      Delete
  2. What a lovely post Vicky. I felt at peace just reading it. Thank you for sharing your heart. I send a warm hug and my prayer to our Father for you.
    God's Blessing on you,
    Teresa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Teresa, thank you :) Hugging you right back and praying God's blessings on you and yours :)

      Delete
  3. As I read your post and the word "peace" appeared, it put a smile upon my face. Why? Because when I saw your above picture the other day on Instagram, it filled me with a sense of peace as I saw how good you looked.

    Love and hugs, Eileen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Eileen~ thank you for sharing that insight with me~ I am glad it shows on my face. The week off from chemo truly helped me feel more like myself.

      I pray you are also experiencing good health these days Eileen- I know the road has been a rough one for you as well- hugs to you!

      Delete
  4. I agree with your other commenters. I felt peaceful reading it too. Vicky, it's so powerful. Your last four lines are worth millions.

    Hugging you from Georgia.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Julie- thank you for your sweet words- I shared with the boys the pics on instagram yesterday and oh my were they surprised and excited- we've never seen anything like it :)

      Hugging you right back friend~

      Delete
  5. What a blessing to be infused with so much love and prayer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I truly FELT blessed~ it was so encouraging. Blessings to you Susan!

      Delete
  6. oh Vicky... such a beautiful. It is amazing how kind gestures magnify when you are going through challenging times. I believe that God puts those people in our paths to give us a lift of encouragement. I will continue to keep you in my prayers, sweet Vicky.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Katie- I believe what you say is sooo true~ gifts from God for sure~ delivered by all kinds of people. Blessings to you Katie!

      Delete
  7. smiles and tears - you are deeply blessed and covered by Him through so many! I am blessed by you and your grace as you share your journey!

    So happy to hear about your day at infusion and the peace you feel. I encourage you to keep trusting - He always brings us what we need and asking why never really helps does it?

    Love love and more love!!
    xoTiffany

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi sweet one- I've been thinking of you :)

      Thank you for being one who covers me~ I couldn't do it without you :) Love to you honey!

      Delete
  8. this has "gifts" written all over it! love it! yayayayayay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It does Jenn- for me, and also for YOU! I often think that whatever happens around me is also surrounding others if they're just watchful and open to it- its there for us all :)

      Delete
  9. Talk about an infusion, girl, you obviously got one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I SO did- so abundantly blessed. Thinking of you!! Prayers for continued strength and healing~

      Delete
  10. Vicky, my mom inspired in me a earnestness toward looking for the surprises. Anticipating what's around the corner even while not knowing what it is falls right in line with this. I love it! And it is the way we all need to live our lives, because we just don't know! :) And what's around the corner might be a gift we would have missed, had we not been anticipating the surprise. More surprises are coming. Keep watching. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Roxane- its true- I think you've just described part of the reason I chose embrace and what it has taught me- this-definitely this. I love that your mom taught you that- its taken me so long to get here- but I pray I can just stay here now that I've experienced it :) I totally see it in you too!

      Delete
  11. This is beautiful , Vicky. You are beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hilary- so sweet- thank you for blessing me with such gracious words :)

      Delete
  12. What beautiful words to leave this day with...thank you my friend for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank YOU friend for coming to visit and leaving me such kind words :) Hugs to you!

      Delete
  13. It sounds akward to say but I love it when you leave infusion like you just meet up with a bunch of girlfriends for lunch! Just makes the day...

    xo,
    Michelle

    PS Good luck with uping your dosage. I will keep my fingers crossed and my prayers up ;)I remember I would just keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel to that week off and telling myself hang in there the week off is almost there...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Michelle- I know- that week off is huge! I felt so much better by Monday- the day before I knew I'd be starting all over again. Isn't that weird- that infusion can be like that- so true!

      So grateful, always, to have your insight and encouragement! Hugs to you- prayers your infusion goes well!

      Delete
  14. Great post Vicky! You look wonderful! I pray and hope for great things for you just around the corner too! Good luck with your treatment this week! I will be thinking of you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Genny for your kind and gracious words. Hugs to you!

      Delete
  15. God is just surrounding you with love and blessings isn't He? :) And I'm like all the other commenters. . .I felt peace throughtout this post. Praying for the new dosage to work for you.
    Many more blessings to you! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He is Kristin- He truly is. I am so glad peace came through- exactly as I felt it. Thank you for your prayers and for blessing me with your presence. Hugs and blessings to you Kristin!

      Delete
  16. Oh, I think I love Sandy. And your doctor. Makes such an amazing difference when you have people surrounding you like that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You would love Sandy- she is definitely something special... it was just so unusual- I had a later start to chemo and it reflected a whole group of people I haven't seen in ages- made it feel "new" again...

      Delete
  17. Love this post Vicky. Love and kindness makes a world a difference!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lisa- it so does! I hope everyone of us gets to have that same experience in our daily lives :)

      Delete
  18. and Julie Garmon wrote today about this verse from Oswald Chambers “To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of BREATHLESS EXPECTATION.” And I come over here and you have the same message. I will listen. God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Arie- I need to go read Julie's post- thank goodness you mentioned it to me- I'm excited to see. Isn't that great when in one day you read two different posts from two different people and they complement each other- I don't think that is mere coincidence at all :) Thank you friend- God's blessings to you too!

      Delete
  19. Your grace and faith bless your readers every time you write. I am so glad that you were able to get some back today ! Peace and grace and healing to you this beautiful May day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Sue, for your gracious words- I do feel blessed beyond. Love and blessings to you this beautiful day indeed!

      Delete
  20. Beautiful. Written from the heart of an angel. God's child. Love.

    ReplyDelete
  21. An infusion of love is the best medicine and love is being infused in you you from everywhere in real life and the virtual life. Sending love your way and prayers to you sweetest Vicky xo

    ReplyDelete

I welcome what you have to say. Thanks for taking the time to grace me with your thoughts and words!

When you get lucky

When you get lucky

Popular Posts

Minnesota.com

Minnesota.com - MN Weather, Map, Businesses and Blogs