Thursday, August 15, 2013

pouring out...


My fingerprints, forever entwined around my boys, etched in metal, wrapped in love... sigh...



All thanks to this friend...


My friend Wendy, a Child Life Specialist at Sanford, had the fingerprint dog tags made for me.   She had no idea it was tagged as something I wanted on Pinterest.  The coincidences are never lost on me.  

How lucky can you get that someone would think to have something made for you that you always desired?  

Of course, she has rescued me before.

Wendy and I went to college together.  At the end of my Senior year, we both went on a May Seminar through Concordia College.  We traveled across Europe- Russia, England, France, Germany, Switzerland and Austria.  When I stepped into line awaiting assignment of a roommate, it was Wendy who assuredly pushed her suitcase next to mine and said "we'll room together."  Instant friends.  So many stories to tell. Having tea together every day in London.  Getting lost in Paris riding the "redline" subway train and literally paying a cleaning women to open a gate and let us out. Or doing Bob's Bavarian Alps tour with her in Salzburg and seeing every place where the Sound of Music was shot!  Or how we were followed by the KGB in St. Petersburg one night.  

We were young, adventurous, and fun girls.  We made memories to last a lifetime.

It was volunteering for Cully's Kids that brought us back together all these years later.  

Her visits to infusion have lifted my spirits and the gift of the dog tags?  Touched me more than words can adequately express.


So on Tuesday, Dr. Panwalkar decided to have a PET scan done to look at my lungs.  My pesky cough continues.  My wound is wide open.  My feet are peeling again. And I have some tenderness in a spot in my ribs.  

The PET scan is scheduled for 1200 today.  I'm fasting this morning, and will arrive at 1030 am to begin preparation for the scan.  I'll be home later this afternoon. 

I covet your prayers.  

His will, not mine.  His way, not mine.  Trusting He has this as I deeply surrender.  

Dr. Panwalkar was very forthright in admitting he will have a tough time determining what line of treatment would come next.  The ones remaining are the hard core chemos and would just plain make me sick.  But, I'm not without hope that the Tykerb may be working and the cancer may be stable enough for me to continue on with this drug.

I should know the results by the end of the week or first part of next week.  

Jesus Calling:  Make Me your Refuge by pouring out your heart to Me, trusting in Me at all times.

Sarah Young










56 comments:

  1. Praying all goes well for you Vicky. You are in my thoughts and prayers always! What a sweet friend you have who knows you so well and had the perfect gift for you!

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    1. Thank you Genny- your prayers mean everything to me and truly sustain me- thank you! xxoo

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  2. I literally just finished reading the blog of another cancer patient (to whom I have only a small connection) and then clicked to yours. The difference in attitude because you know my Jesus is marked. But I'm still anxious for both of you. And spending time praying this morning.

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    1. Thank you Melissa- there is a small part of me that feels that regardless what the scan shows- I'll be okay- so hopefully I will still feel the same WHEN I do hear the news :) Thanks for walking this with me friend- you help more than you could possibly know~

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  3. Oh Vicky, I would have loved to explore Europe with you! I have my own European memories, and hearing of yours made me remember that grand adventure with such fondness. It was such an exhilarating time in our lives, wasn't it? So good to think back on all the blessings throughout our lives. We had an incident of being followed too -- in Paris. :) I am hoping that part of God's plan involves many more adventures, and not in the hospital. Praying, steadfastly...wishing your suffering will dissipate.

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    1. We will have to compare notes on European travels some day... thankful to have you praying and walking beside me... xxoo

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  4. Vicky - Lifting up prayers with all my heart.

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    1. Libby- so great to see you here- I pray you are well. Thank you so much for those prayers!

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  5. Thinking of you an praying for you! You know I dont pray so often but I always do it for you (I hope the lord will here it ... its for the bravest woman I ever met!!!). Love you. Big hugs an Bussal!
    Mimi

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    1. Mimi- thank you sweet friend- it speaks volumes about you that you are willing to do that for me. Big hugs and big love back to you!

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  6. You continually amaze me with your strength and perseverance. That necklace is a treasure. I pray and think of you every single day. xoxo

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    1. Thank you Melissa- it means everything to me :) xxoo

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  7. Whispering your name to Jesus...
    He hears...He knows...He loves
    He is in every detail and how I love Him so.

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    1. So sweet- pausing on each of your words and feeling them- thank you. xxoo

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  8. Oh, what a wonderful friend indeed! Love the tags! I'm praying sweetie. ♥

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    1. Oh thank you sweet friend! I'm feeling the prayers :)

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  9. more prayers vicky....lots more prayers.....xoxo

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    1. Oh thank you Beth- they truly mean the world to me- xxoo

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  10. Those dog tags are utterly amazing! What a very meaningful gift!

    Praying for you right now, and always. Hugs, dear sista!

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    1. Hugs to you dear sista- and thank for those prayers- they truly see me through.

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  11. just reading this and stopped to pray. trust...deep surrender. like the way you put that.

    He knows and He cares. thanks for letting us know how to pray.

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    1. Thank you for continuing to pray so specifically for me- I know it comforts me and helps. Hugs to you~

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  12. Well you are always in my prayers dear girl.
    I can't believe they are running out of drugs to help you
    There are so many out there.
    So many memories, dear friends, lovely family, are God's blessings to help you through this time.
    Now you just need to beat this cancer. May faith be strong in your heart
    so this can be so.

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    1. Vic- they aren't running out of drugs per se, there plenty of the more toxic ones left, its just then my quality of life may suffer too. That is the tricky part- how to prescribe drugs that may make you feel very sick daily and weak, but may or may not help with the cancer. Its a tough decision to know what to do...

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  13. What a beautiful gift from your thoughtful friend. You are in my prayers today and every day. Consider another candle lit in your name. I am in awe of your courage, Vicky.

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    1. Oh thank you Katie, so kind of you, I love the imagery of the lit candles and feel blessed by it all.

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  14. Continuing prayers for you and your family. Hoping you get some good news.

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    1. Thanks Ms. A~ am ready for whatever the news will be :)

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  15. You are so deserving of the thoughtful, sweet gift from your friend

    I am hoping and praying for you, Vicky...........Be Strong as you always are

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    1. Thank you so much Bibi- I am strengthened with the help of all of you :)

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  16. You remain in my prayers.

    Vicky, I bless you in the name of Jesus. Trusting Him along with you.

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    1. I'm so honored to be in your prayers so often Susan- it nourishes me so. Praying you are well friend. Are you back now or still traveling? xxoo

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    2. Traveling briefly in Luxembourg to visit a friend. Then heading to Alaska to see my dad at the end of the month :-) Alles gut!

      xxx

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  17. wondering how it went today sweet one. thanking God for your dear friend and asking Him to uphold you...and as always sending love

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    1. Well honey- everything went well. Thank you for your prayers- they do wonders for me. And the techs both asked about my bracelet- and I loved being able to share the story of its origins! They loved it as well. Make my life a prayer~ love you honey~

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    1. Thank you- it makes me feel you are right by my side - and I by yours.

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  19. Vicky--I continue to be amazed by the beauty of you and your words...prayers your way!

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    1. Kim- thank you for your gracious words- I wonder if people grow tired of the same words- but they do truly reflect how I feel so they are the ones to use :) xxoo

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  20. Hoping the day went well. Such a heart-treasured gift.

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    1. Thank you Susan- everything went very well and I now I wait :)

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  21. Prayers continue like you couldn't imagine!!!
    XOXO,
    Michelle

    Enjoy your weekend ;)

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    1. Thanks sweet one! Hug your littles for me and enjoy your weekend too!

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  22. My friend....it is almost 1 A.M. (Eastern Time Zone) as I'm typing this on my iPhone. I am assuming that you are asleep. And I know it won't be long before you are awake, up and about and going to have your scan done. I am laying here thinking about what you must have been feeling before you fell asleep tonight. I can't begin to know. But, I do know that you have a peace that always soothes my worries about you. How wonderful that is. How amazing you are.
    You write with love about your dear friend Wendy. She is an angelic friend. I am thankful you have her to smile with and to lean on. Rock steady she is. I don't have any poetic words to pen tonight (or any night) but I do want you to know that before I close my eyes in sleep, I will be talking to my Father in Heaven about you and asking for His gentle arms to be around you on Friday.
    Nite, my friend.
    Love you,
    Jackie

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    1. Jackie- I am happy to report the scan is already done and I am merely waiting a few days for the report now :) I prayed incessantly for all of you while I was being prepped and during the scan- it does fill me with peace :) Your words are more than poetic friend- they're sincere and filled with love- and those are the very best! Love you friend!

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    2. Whose words could be more loving and soothing than our dear Jackie, eh Vicky? Please write a book of loving and soothing words, Jackie. We'd all be better off for it.

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  24. Vicky, You are close in thought and always in my prayers. The dog tags are awesome...what a beautiful gift!! Your spirit and sense of peace always amaze me. May the Lord bless you and shower you with his grace as you have your scan tomorrow.

    Love and Hugs,
    Kristin Erickson

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    1. Thank you so much Kristin! I am happy to say the scan was done yesterday and now I am simply waiting! Your support, encouragement and prayers mean so much to me- love you sista!

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  25. I love those tags, what a special gift. Praying you get the results you hope for with the scan and can continue with the drug you are able to "live" with. Have a relaxing and enjoyable weekend with your family -

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  26. The tags are such a great gift. I thought about you on my bicycle trip Vicky. You are always in my thoughts.

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  27. What a beautiful gift. Hard to imagine anything more meaningful than carrying around your kids with you. Hoping and praying for a good outcome on the results and the continuation of the Tykerb. What would we do without those friends who have been woven into our lives for literally a lifetime and who know us so well? So glad you have her and the many memories you share. Big hugs, Vicky. My heart is with you tonight. It's very late where you are and I hope it's not a long night for you but that you are sleeping peacefully. I'm so so sorry about your wound being wide open again. May God touch that place with his healing hand and cause it to close again, completely. Waiting to hear.

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  28. P.S. Would your friend share where she got these done? I would love to have some just like them. Well, maybe not exactly. I'll put MY kids finger prints on them instead of yours. Cause that would just be weird if I didn't. ;-)

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  29. Nothing quite like friends of the heart.

    It's Sunday night. I'm praying, Vicky. Surrender was more word for last year--should probably be my permanent word!! Isn't is deep and wide!

    Love to you and yours tonight.

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I welcome what you have to say. Thanks for taking the time to grace me with your thoughts and words!

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