Tuesday, August 7, 2012

the unexpected loss

I've been wrestling with the proper way, the proper time, perhaps, the proper place to share the news.  But there isn't anything proper about it.

Rick's mom, Carole, passed away unexpectedly yesterday morning.  She hadn't been feeling well and was brought into the emergency room at Sanford, early Sunday morning.  We went and visited her Sunday afternoon, but she was medicated for the abdominal pain she felt and she clearly needed rest. We knew they suspected an infection and her blood work suggested her immune system was very low. Her kidneys were also not working.  She looked sick, but we've seen her come back from sick many times before.

Shortly before 6 am yesterday morning the phone rang.  We had a horrible night of sleep.  The dog was up several times wanting to go outside. Nolan was up several times complaining of nightmares and finally crashed on the floor by our bed.  The sound of the phone jolted us all awake.  It was Rick's Dad Jim saying we needed to come to the hospital.

I felt sick to my stomach as I ran around collecting the boys and the dog.

It was Nolan who rallied me saying "you know how positive Grandma is, mom, we just need to have hope."

We entered the intensive care unit about the time the code blue was announced.  Her room was flooded with people... it was way too much for our boys to take in and we hurried to shelter them.  Hope couldn't save us this day.  Our beloved mother (my mother-in-law), could not come back to us this time.  My husband was brave and summoned all the love he felt, and knowing his mother's wishes, he made sure they were carried out when the doctor's asked for his guidance.

We are devastated.  Too soon, too quick, too much.  We stumbled through the day in a dream like fog of loss and mourning, with the waves of grief crashing over us as we waded through the details of planning her funeral.




The visitation will be from 5-7pm pm Thursday evening at Wright Funeral Home.  The funeral will be at 11:00 am Friday morning at Grace United Methodist Church.

We've received an outpouring of love and prayers and are humbled and appreciative of it all.


35 comments:

  1. Oh no. My sweet Vicky. I am so sorry about your loss.

    I will pray for you, especially Rick and for his mom.

    Bussals
    Mimi

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  2. So sorry to hear this news, Vicky. We had the same thing happen with my mother-in-law five years ago. Our phone rang at 6:30 AM one morning and it was a total shock. It is so much harder to accept when this happens and it is unexpected. Thoughts, prayers and hugs are with you, Vicky and your family. Love, Eileen

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  3. Vicki, I'm so sorry for your family's loss. We'll be keeping your whole family in our prayers.

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  4. Vicki,
    We were beyond shocked and saddened to hear this news. Our deepest sympathy to all, see you Thursday. p.s. I immediatly remembered this picture when I heard the news and today I read your blog and you have it posted - she was so awesome, what a great day that was for all of us to be together.

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  5. I'm so sorry Vicky! You and your family are in my prayers! {{{hugs}}} coming to you from KY.

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  6. I am so very sorry for your loss. I pray that you feel the love of our Lord very close. Especially praying for yours sons, and of course your husband. Well ... all of you. God bless.

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  7. Oh Vicky... I never feel I have the right words for such a sad loss, know that I'm thinking of you and your family.

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  8. My heartfelt condolences to your family, Vicky.
    Please, let Rick know that I am thinking of him and that my heart is heavy as I type this. Words aren't adequate, but know that my prayers are with all of you.
    Love,
    Jackie

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  9. So sorry for Rick's and your loss. The Lord Bless and Keep you, prayers going up for all of you..((((((()))))) to all.

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  10. What a terrible and shocking outcome, Vicky, when you have seen her face so many trials and overcome. Please accept my heartfelt condolences and the loss of one so dear and so integral to the very people we become; to who we are; who know us and remember us like no other. May God comfort you all as you move through this and may he strengthen you, dear Vicky, in the midst, for yourself and to be there for Rick and the boys. You need all of your reserves so remember through everything to build in rest and space. Of course I didn't know your mother-in-law but she raised an awesome man and from that alone it would seem she wouldn't have it any other way. Hugs and love from too far away in California.

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  11. wrapping my heart around you sweet friend - holding you together as I imagine you all want to break into a million pieces!

    And as Robynn above says; hugs all the way from too far away in California! xoxoxo

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  12. Rest assured she is in God's safe keeping. May the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:7 Sending prayers and love to you, Rick, your sweet boys and all of your family who held her so dear. Love.

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  13. Oh no sweet Vicky! My heart is so sad right now. I'm so very sorry to hear such sad, sad news. Please know I'm sending lots of love and many warm hugs for you and the entire family.

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  14. Oh hon, my heart is hurting for you all. So sorry for Rick and you, those poor boys must be missing their Grandma. Lots of love to you all. xoxo

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  15. Vicky, I am so sad and sorry for your loss of your beloved Mother-in-law. It is never easy to lose our parents but especially when it is sudden like this was. Please know you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. XO, Pinky

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  16. Vicky and family, my heart hurts for you all...may the memories of your mother in law bring you comfort. My prayers and love to you all!

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  17. Oh poor woman. I am so sorry for your loss.
    I am sure I understand the nightmares since every day is a struggle for the children to keep people they so love . A Grand Mothers' love is always special.
    So sad for them and for your family.

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  18. i can only imagine what you're all going through.....my prayers and thoughts are with all of you.....xo

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  19. Prayers continue as you walk through this difficult time. My heart aches for all of you.

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  20. I am so, so sorry for your loss.

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  21. Oh, my. I am so sorry to read this. Praying for you all especially this week.

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  22. So so sorry to hear this news Vicky.

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  23. I am so sad to hear this Vicky! My thoughts and prayers are for your family.

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  24. Vicki - SO sorry for your loss... I know how much it hurts and I'm so sorry you are going through this. Know that Sara will be welcoming her into heaven with dancing and singing! (this is Sara's friend, Susie. I check in on you from time to time because Sara talked of you often! Know she is with you during this difficult time.) Praying for peace for you and your family...

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  25. I am so sorry to hear about your dear Mom in love. You and your family are in my prayers this night.
    Lovingly in our Saviors name,
    Carolynn xo

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  26. I came back to give you another hug....
    J.

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  27. I missed this yesterday Vicky, I'm just stunned and completely sorry. Oh I have no words. The suddenness is almost too much. Lean into His arms my friend. And know I'm praying for all of you...sending love

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  28. Vicky, Rick and family...you are in my thoughts and special prayers!

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  29. My heart aches for your loss. I am so very sorry. No matter how old we are, it still feels like we are orphaned when we lose our parents. I have no words but..."Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me." Praying for God's comfort for you all. Take care of yourself, and don't let yourself get run down.
    ~hugs~

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  30. My sincere condolences for the loss of a dear loved one, Vicky.

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  31. Vicky, I missed you so came by for a helping of your words, and I am so sorry to hear of this sudden, sad event. Sometimes, life is just plain difficult, plain painful, and there's no way around it. I hope that you were able to feel some sense of peace at the funeral, but grieving isn't a one-day deal. Take your time, and be good to yourself. Let God guide your steps. And keep living through it. Hugs, Roxane

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  32. Oh, Vicky, I am so sorry for your loss! You, Rick and the boys and all of the family are in our prayers! It is never easy loosing a loved one! Hugs to all of you!

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  33. Wow, what a shock to read. I'm so sorry Vicky. Giving a special blessing to your mother-in-law, who is now in a loving and beautiful place. I'm thinking of your family tonight.

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  34. Vicky, I am heart broken over this news. I am so very sorry. Asking God to comfort you all, as only He can. And give you strength to face the days ahead.

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