Friday, October 17, 2014

believe

Day two...

Mass at the Carmelite Monastery starts at 7 am, so we set our alarms for a few minutes after 6.  Its dark outside as we find our way across the path over to the chapel.  As comfortable as I feel inside, I also feel reverence and sacredness throughout the Mass.  The sisters sit behind a screened wall.  We can hear them sing, pray and read, so beautifully, but not see them in any way.

An hour later we scurry out the door, and notice the sun is just coming up over the horizon.  We hurry inside to get some breakfast started, and as the coffee percolates, I slip outdoors as the sun makes its presence known.

To my delight, not only is the horse nearby, in the pasture behind the guest house, but for the first time ever, I see a farm cat sitting pristinely nearby. 











I turn for one last shot, and see the horse, standing, motionless.  We stand in the presence of one another, not uttering a word, or a sound, yet keenly aware of each other.  Somehow, he exudes a quiet and yet sturdy energy and I soak in it, as the sun begins to set his chest ablaze.  I am mesmerized. 


I retrace my steps and look back towards the chapel. I notice the moon still in the sky, while the sun begins to cast a glow on the chapel.  I'm taking all of this in and feeling, peace, and awe all at once.


And then my stomach growls, as the chill takes over, and I rejoin Roxane in the warm kitchen for some breakfast.  Soon we will be heading back to a tiny vestibule in the monastery, where Mother Joseph will meet with us.


In the meanwhile, I'm sitting quietly in my room, and reach for a book to read for a bit.  Its my copy of Love Does, by Bob Goff, and I find I can always read for a short bit and fill with something he says, no matter how short the time.  

As I go to lift the book from the dresser, something falls and clunks on the floor.  I jump as the noise catches me off guard in such a serene setting.  I pick it up, and have to chuckle.  Its my book mark- the new one, that says "believe."  I have to say I feel this word, suddenly, in a whole new way.  


Its not long and Roxane and I are headed over to see Mother Joseph.  We ring the bell as instructed, on the outside of the door, and then enter.  We aren't immediately certain, which room she will appear in, so we stand in the entryway and wait.

I notice a door begin to open, and suddenly Mother Joseph appears, welcoming us to sit.  She sits behind a desk with iron bars that open so we can talk.  

Oh where do I begin to describe to you all that is Mother Joseph?  There is such a quiet assurance in her voice.  While she is dressed, head to toe, in her habit, her face radiates such warmth and light, I hardly notice what she wears.  She has a vibrancy to her that is palpable.  

And her witty remarks and comments begin immediately, reminding me, of how entirely human she is. We segue from one topic to the next with ease.  I find myself telling her, I am here to see if God has anything to tell me, or show me, as I sit in this period of waiting.

And Mother Joseph says, "Vicky, the sister's and I pray for you often, (she mentions a homily they've just read- then says)  I think what I feel He would want you to do in this time of waiting, is to REST.  Much like Mary held baby Jesus in her arms, on her chest- rest.  Feel all that love and comfort, from that place of rest."  

I've said this before.  My words escape me, when I am at Carmel.  My minds slows, and I don't think long and hard about much of anything.  I tend to just "be."  

And from what Mother Joseph has just shared with me, I sink further into letting go.

The hour we have with her, quickly passes.  Mother Joseph has imparted such soothing words for hard times.  As we stand to leave, she accepts a hug from each of us.  Its an embrace that reached all the way around and I leave feeling refreshed.

I'll be leaving in a few hours myself.  With the sky so blue, and the light still pouring in, I go off back behind the guest house.







Then I circle around the front by the pond again. I'm always amazed at how I see it with new eyes no matter how many times I walk through the grounds.  












All too soon, Rick arrives to pick me up.  I grab my bags, and stuff my two words inside, "rest," and "believe," and we drive off into the future of all our tomorrows. 


38 comments:

  1. Beautiful photos. Wonderful, perfect message from Mother Joseph. So many people are holding you in their loving arms. Ease into it.

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    1. Such sage advice- I am listening to you all and doing just that.

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  2. It's an absolute treat for me to experience Carmel again through your eyes Vicky. It reminds me how unique we all are. We can attend the same event, and come out with different impressions based on our unique self, needs and thoughts. Beautiful! I'm going to share this on my blog today. XXOO

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    1. Roxane- I enjoy your observations, and experiences through your eyes just as much. It is insightful to garner the perspective of others and I appreciate yours often. Happy to have you share on your blog!

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  3. Simply lovely...the photos and your words. Thank you for this today.

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    1. Thank you, for coming to share in this with me, today.

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  4. Beautiful post Vicky and such comforting words from Mother Joseph. Thank you for sharing. Keeping you always in my prayers.

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    1. Her words did bring much comfort- both in the way they were spoken and in what she said. Your prayers bless me so.

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  5. I am so thankful for your ministry to REST - I feel in that too is more of letting go - let it go and give it all to Him - rest in Him - be still and know and Belive in Him deeper!!

    Love this!! I am praying right along with you - believing and resting too!

    I love you Vicky!!

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    1. I feel you, Tiffany, I truly do- you are always right by my side. I love you!

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  6. Resting and believing are the words that will be bringing the tomorrows...Such a way with words and with making me feel I was there, sweet friend. Signs are everywhere for us to follow when our heart is open and your always is <3.
    Sending you love and always praying for you

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    1. I feel you were there, with me, Anyes- so many of you pass through my mind when its still and quiet and you all are in my heart. Sending love right back to you!

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    1. You're so welcome- thank you for coming and contributing- always so appreciate you!

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  8. I love everything about this post. Beautiful.

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  9. So inspiring, Vicky. Thank you again for sharing your healing journey.

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    1. Thank you, Bonnie- thank you for coming and sharing with me!

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  10. I am grateful you got this time away to rest and take in the natural beauty. I am praying for you as always.

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    1. Thank you so much Melinda- for being so faithful and encouraging- it touches me so!

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  11. Each night I check my email as I climb into bed hoping to see a post from you. This journey you are living is so inspiring. Thank you...

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    1. MK- thank YOU- your words touch me so and I am so grateful to feel as though I am not doing this alone.

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  12. I'm inspired dear friend... "don't think long and hard about much of anything. I tend to just "be."
    the simply 'be' is no small- thank you for sharing the photos and the experience- for a moment, I am there with you xo

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    1. So glad you were "there" with me- I feel you so often and it helps me more than I can say- love you friend!

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  13. My dear sweet friend,
    I am grateful beyond words that you took the time to share your retreat...the pictures with the light streaming in, the sturdy horse who looked right at you with such a knowing glance, the pond, the gorgeous leaves, and most of all the wisdom of Mother Joseph...to rest, really rest. Rest. Feel all the love and comfort from that place of being held by Him...and rest.

    You are living your word for this year...become. Become peaceful, become restful, be and come.
    Love you to the moon and back!
    Linda

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    1. Oh those two sweet words that I hadn't even thought of it in that way- "be," and "come." What a great perspective, Linda, that speaks volumes to me just now. So thankful, always, for your keen insight and experience! Love you- to the moon- and all the way back!

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  14. Every time I read your blog, you bring me back to the simple things. The best things. Peace. And rest. And beauty. And time stands still.

    Thank you.

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    1. Julie- your words are so sweet today- thank you. Simple seems to be at the heart of everything, when the rest is stripped away.

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  15. What a wonderful place to get away and rest your body and soul. I'm glad you could go Vicky. Thinking of you often my blogger friend!!!

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    1. Thank you Lisa, I think of you often as well!

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  16. this is such a lovely personal experience you have been witness to. They are treasures that matter.
    You know my Dad called me after he reposed to let me know he was doing very well.
    He was always naughty in life so I could expect something like this from him and they cut him off right away.lol (you are not supposed to call from up there lol)
    So Vicky I don't believe in death. I believe in LIFE Everlasting! This is what we all fight for in this world and in the next.
    The sun on the horse looks like a butterfly. Amazing shot.!
    Just be and see where it takes you.
    May God Bless you always.

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  17. Thanks Vic- yes, life everlasting, amen to that! God's blessings to you!

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  18. Seriously, these pics are just DREAMY. And the whole weekend sounds so peaceful. Initially, my thought was that this would be too much "unplugged" for me, but it really does sound so restful the more I think about it.

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  19. Oh my goodness this post touched me so much tonight that the tears just welled and my throat is tight. What is it about deep peace and feeling understood that is so healing, in and of itself? Mother Joseph touched ME through your retelling of the story. I just faced someone very harsh and ugly and it was so shocking and unexpected. And I watched them hurt someone else who trusted them. I watched a heart laid bare in an ugly way. I needed the beauty you described and to think of you resting in God's loving care and complete sufficiency. And in thinking of YOU there, I could begin to remember that the injured could also lean deeply into Him; that mere mortals will never be sufficient (though we can do a damn sight better job than what I witnessed earlier), and that the only One who can truly understand our sorrows or pain is the One who knows us intimately and causes all things to work together for good.

    Thank you for sharing this, Vicky. I wasn't supposed to read it until now. And the horse......the HORSE with fire blazing on his chest. That is an INCREDIBLE photo. I'd love to buy a copy from you. Would that be possible? That picture is so moving and so filled with wonder and strength. Love you, dear heart.

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I welcome what you have to say. Thanks for taking the time to grace me with your thoughts and words!

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