that old version of me...

Sarah Young~ Jesus Calling

"… Energy and time are precious, limited entities.  Therefore, you need to use them wisely, focusing on what is truly important.  As you walk close to Me… I will show you how to spend your time and energy.  My word is a lamp to your feet; My presence is a Light for your path."  

We left last week for a big hockey tournament in Minneapolis.  I've wanted to go to the Cities to shop for school clothes for the boys, and enjoy a relaxing time.  I still believe I am that old version of me, that could accomplish all of these things easily. 

Yet, hockey tournaments can become all about hockey.  Traveling to and from the rink, going early, watching the games, staying late.   While in between games you are finding quick meals for your ravenous skater, finding skate sharpeners, etc., its a few busy days. 

So this one time, I decided to do something spur of the moment, on the outside of hockey, instead.

When my friend, Kristi, invited me to come to her home on the lake, and spend time with another of our friends, Elizabeth, plus my God daughter, Brynne… how could I resist?

I skipped one of Nolan's hockey games, Friday night.

Rick brought me to a Fuddrucker's and Kristi and Brynne met me there for dinner.

Then we left for Kristi's and Brynne's home.

Soon Elizabeth arrived.

We had the best time!  

Kristi and Elizabeth filled our Facebook feed with pictures of us on the deck, by the moonlit lake, giggling at the antics of the four year old entertaining us. 

All of this, even though, I was still tired and semi-nauseous from infusion.

I also find my brain has a hard time when its tired.  Words get lodged in there and have a hard time working their way to my mouth. Names escape me.  Directions are lost.  It takes so much for me to just cope with all the stimulation around me, and the newness of it all.  I struggle with trying to be the same me, when that "version" of me, left long ago.  

So even though I brought my camera?  I took no pictures.  Not a single one.  

Fatigue just numbs me to a point of hardly being able to move at times.

I still however, soaked in the moments and loved each one.  

But, if I'm being honest, I compromised quite a bit this past weekend.

Even though I knew what both the boys needed for clothes at the stores?  By the time we drove to the Outlets, found parking, maneuvered through the crowds and got to our first store?

We fought out way through not finding anything, left, and had just 20 minutes to spend at the second store.

Like that, our time was up and we needed to head back out to get to the next game on time.  

Thank goodness I have a boy who relishes athletic wear and made quick decisions.

But I didn't shop for myself at all, like I would normally do.  I didn't even attempt to look for Colton's sizes. I just didn't have it in me.

I try hard to not be disappointed in what it seems I can't accomplish some days. 

Nolan's team won 3 games and lost 2 this weekend.

We arrived home and I was in bed, in record time. 

My head is throbbing today, and I am groggy and mind-numbingly tired.

The one thing, at the center of it all, no matter which version of me...

my grateful heart knows no bounds, and remains just as full as its ever been.  

"My word is a lamp to your feet; My presence is a Light for your path."