Monday, February 27, 2012

The power of love...

The power of love to change bodies is legendary, built into folklore, common sense, and everyday experience.  Love moves the flesh, it pushes matter around.... Throughout history, "tender loving care" has uniformly been recognized as a valuable element in healing.  ~Larry Dossey


Last week I began to feel like maybe I wouldn't feel well again.  Thursday found me still relishing my bed. Friday I decided I didn't care if I felt well or not.  I was getting out of bed, out of the house, and back out into life, sick or not.

And a surprising thing happened.  I actually started to feel better.  Friday night we decided to go watch The Squirt A's play in their hockey game in the big Squirt International tournament here in town for the weekend.  I was delighted to have the opportunity to see so many people we don't see on a regular basis right now.

And I have something I want to say.

I want to tell you its okay.

Its okay if you come to me with tears in your eyes.  Yep, tears, okay.

Its okay if you want to ask me how I am.  I'm fine talking about it.

Its also okay if you DON'T want to talk about it.  We can talk weather, kids, hockey, whatever.  Its all okay.

Its also okay to talk about, your cold, your headache, your job frustration, your sadness over something,  etc.  I hear this a lot, "oh but its nothing compared to what you are going through, I shouldn't be telling you."  Yes, you should.  Want to know why?  It makes me feel normal!  You're treating me like you would any other person, and it makes me feel human and normal.  Me having cancer doesn't diminish your concerns, and worries and struggles, and shouldn't dampen your joy.

Saturday, was even better for me.  I made it through 2 really good hockey games, and an afternoon at the Home Show.  I had hit a wall by the time we left the Fargo Dome.

I came home to a mailbox stuffed with cards.  One of them was anonymous.  And it humbled me very deeply.  It had lovely, gracious words in it.  And offered an apology of sorts for not knowing what to say when that person sees me.

Please, please know. Its okay.  I don't expect anyone to really know what to say- shoot I don't know what to say half the time myself.  But I have never, and I do mean never, walked away from a  conversation feeling like someone said the wrong thing, or not enough of something, or what have you.  It takes a great deal to approach someone going through something difficult.  Thank you.  I'm glowing with the light you sent my way!

I have the best of everything when it comes to my treatment.  The best facility with the best people.

I have all the best meds.  I have stuff for nausea, pain, GI distress, diarrhea, constipation, etc.  I took a combination of all of those things last week.

And you know what finally made me feel better?  YOU.  All of you!  Because you see me and you care.  By the way you touch my arm, or hug me, or put an arm on my shoulder.  Or call out to me.  Or light up when you see me.  Or write or call or email. Its medicine of the best kind.


I've been meaning to send a special thank you to someone else doing something to help our family.  Melissa is hosting a Stella and Dot catalog party with the proceeds coming to us.  If you'd like to check out the newest from Stella and Dot please follow this link Melissa/Stella and Dot.  You have a couple more days to order something if you'd like! Thank you Melissa!  You're the best!

15 comments:

  1. I love you. I love this; what a friend you are, giving us all permission to love and communicate with you as we are able. Oh my friend...how thankful I am for your spirit, your strength, and your beautiful heart. xoxoxo

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  2. Hi Vicky--
    You are such an inspiration and such a breath of fresh air. :)
    Both my husband and I are from Minot, ND., so it's fun to read about hockey and things like that and hear about Fargo. My husband went to college at UND in Grandforks. What a small world, huh?! Although we live in Las Vegas now, we both are so glad we were both born and raised in good ol' North Dakota, dontcha know!
    I'll definitely be back to visit more, and I wish you well in your road to recovery!
    Sending hugs from your newest blog follower!

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  3. This sweet love I see in you Vicky, that shows concern for those who reach out to you, and expresses an amazing thankfulness is awesome & incredibly touching! Let me just say that I see Jesus is you! Love & prayers, Cynthia

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  4. Everytime I read your blogs you just amaze me with how much strength you have, how willing you are to share with all of us what you are going through and feeling and how understanding you are when we just don't know what we should or shouldn't be doing for you. What an amazing person you are and I am so thankful to call you my friend.

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  5. What a gracious post, Vicky, and how kind to invite others to continue to share their big and little challenges, their frustrations, their lives. It is true that each person's problems still need to be handled and you give us all permission to do that - more than permission, you are inviting it because it keeps you connected and "normal" as well. You are on my heart so much. Glad your weekend was met by your indomitable spirit. Love you.

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  6. P.S. Just so you know....I'm having a major pain day today that I'm having trouble controlling and Hunter keeps looking at me when he passes by and saying, "I'm sorry, Mamma." There. Does knowing that help you in any way? hahahaha I'm directing school from the couch and distracting myself from the pain by Facebooking and visiting your blog. Thanks for being a very encouraging diversion today.

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  7. I love your words of inspiration Vicky....wonderful post. Thank you for being so honest....you give me strength!

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  8. Vicky, you are so beautiful honest and grace-filled. How refreshing. I will proceed as you've allowed. I've always tried to honor that you might feel this way, but it's good to know for sure. :) You're never far from my thoughts! XXOO, Roxane

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  9. This post is so well said, and I completely agreed ... Untilmimremembered that I did this exact thing to you in a recent email about scar tissue.

    Totally used this as a push to finally get those necklace and earrings that have been on my wish list forever. So glad you posted that link!

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  10. You are one amazing lady, I know when I got sick I encountered people who did not know what to say, it can be uncomfortable. I read your post twice and I thought to myself Vicky is so impressive with all your strength and grace and you still think of others. you are inspiring. I hate that you have days that you hurt.....my issue here has been mouse hunting, finally caught the little fellow the other night and had to breathe a sigh of relief. I could tell you some funny stories that sill mouse has caused in my house, anyway life is back to normal...is there such a thing . hugs to you dear friend.

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  11. All we can do is live and live you do and this is what you should do.
    I am so proud of you that you see and understand this.
    I am rooting for your health to get better because I believe that if you believe, it will happen.
    Watch your diet. Eat food that benefits your situation and go for it Vicki. As always
    God Bless you dear heart.

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  12. Perfectly said.

    You have put people at ease with these gracious words.

    I found the same thing happening to me when my 15 y/o son died 25 years ago. People didn't know what to say. They were always afraid they'd say the wrong thing. Or they just avoided me.

    I wished I could have done what you just did in this post.

    You are a wise and compassionate lady.

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  13. Yes, you are full of goodness and grace.

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  14. Beautiful, gracious, grace-filled words! Spoken from a pure and loving heart! I wish I could have communicated that thought so perfectly during my own journey. It was always, always in my heart, but I never was able to say it so eloquently. Thank you for your words, your wisdom, and the sharing of your life with all of us. You have given each of us some beautiful moments and many lessons learned. Thank you!

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I welcome what you have to say. Thanks for taking the time to grace me with your thoughts and words!

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