Thoughts on blogging.

I've come to discover there is an evolutionary process to the cycle of a blog. I was at one time just happy to see my actual words appear after I hit publish. That first time was magic. And then my first comment appeared. The reward got bigger the day I discovered somebody receives the message and responds to it. It was like waiting for the return of your term paper, anxious to see if your professor would ultimately praise your efforts and deem your work worthy.

But I flip back and forth at times. I didn't start a blog for anyone else other than myself. I have a secret very few people know about. I keep journals for both of the boys. I write in them sometimes monthly, sometimes only a few times a year. I praise them, tell them stories about themselves, and have even apologized to them when I feel that I failed them. They don't know about their journals and I don't plan to show the boys until a much later date. But then I started blogging. Some of what I write here is what they would see in their journals. I find myself turning to this more often now, but my ultimate goal is the same. To keep record for the boys. I hope to be able to transfer blog material someday into a permanent form for them to have.

However, something else has happened I hadn't anticipated. A blog community has sprung up around me. Loyal readers and commenters, who truly have become friends. I miss them when they are gone, or when I am gone. I am excited to read about them and know them better. And I feel connected to something larger than myself that provides a sense of support that is tough to sustain when you are at home with kids every day.

Last night I had a reader send me an email asking where my followers widget was. I haven't really given it much thought. Most days I am happy to just have this blog as a way to record everything. And if someone unknown to myself finds something in it that appeals to them or makes them laugh or they learn something than that is just bonus. But I have to admit I have come to love having a blog community. And I know as a reader I follow lots of blogs and whether I comment or not, following allows me to be notified when there is something new to read, and lets me read in one place when I choose. So I've added the widget. Who knows how much more the whole blog thing will evolve?