Where I've been this time around...

My house has been adorned with beautiful flowers and a huge basket of fruit on the other side of it that arrived from Spokane, WA.  

Jim brought me peonies that grow along the side of my mother's house and are so fragrant and beautiful.  

I somehow knew that past Saturday the 2nd,  without ever really knowing.  It just lingered in the air, and hung against my skin and caught in my throat.  Something wasn't right.  And too many of those "some things" were adding up into "you must do something about your somethings."  By 8 pm I was headed into the emergency room.  My stomach made me look and feel about 3-4 months pregnant and there was no relief.  I couldn't get comfortable in any position.  My pain meds weren't alleviating the pain radiating throughout my abdominal area.  And I know I hadn't had a bowel movement in 4 days.  

I needed help.  The er doc thought likewise and put together a plan to scan me with a ct and no dye, then go from there.  For hours I waited in the prep room waiting for my turn.  I'm not even sure what the final time was, sometime around 4 am I was being ushered into my room on the 8th floor.

The scan revealed a lot of blocked up stool and what looked like a narrow opening to my colon.  These two things were working against any movement of bowel in my system and needed to be resolved.  So Monday a list of arduous scans and tests began.  From procedures with my colon, to scans, and several enemas, I was continuously being taken down for another procedure.  I have to say they were some of the most pain filled days I've had in awhile.  I requested my breakthrough pain drug non-stop it seems.  A lot of tears were shed.  But the team of doctors was empathetic and continuously trying to help.  

We finally got a distinct view of the narrowing of the one tube leading to the colon.  All I know is the diameter was down to the size of a straw.  So for me, it was like trying to push stool through a straw!  No wonder I was in so much pain.  I needed another stent for my bowel area.  Within hours of them telling me, I was whisked away for the very procedure I needed.  But unlike bladder stents, I felt so much of it, and it was extremely uncomfortable.  

But it seems to have worked a little anyways.  I will go in on Tuesday the 12th to see Dr. Panwalkar to determine how its working.  Then we'll decide if I can proceed with chemo on this body that is still in recovery mode.  

My head is still spinning from the rollercoaster I've been hanging onto for dear life.   I couldn't even get a coherent note out to all of you.  The news changed minute to minute at times- it was just crazy.  

I went 5 days with no food or water.  Then suddenly not only was I allowed to drink and take a few bites of food on Wednesday- I was given the green light to go home!  I couldn't believe it.  I was pretty weak and would be relying on Rick for help with dressing and getting ready for the day, but we managed somehow.  Im slowly learning how to make food I can eat, and figure out all the new medications I have.  I have a couple that are pretty uncomfortable and do not like the effect they have on me, but its for my good and so I'm mustering up the energy to try and tackle them.  I don't have much in the way of choices left.  My main desire is to truly just feel comfortable again.

I have no idea what kind of appointment we will have tomorrow or what we will discuss.  But when I can muster the energy again to sit and put it all into words, I'll be here to share with all of you.  

The stunning view out my 8th floor window from the hospital.  

I also had the extreme honor of being a part of this beautiful story, right before we headed into all of the medical issues.  I'm trying to post it, and I'm sorry if my efforts are in vain.  It ran on May 29th on WDAY. com  under the title "woman fighting seven years receives big surprise."  Try using the link below for the story.

www.wday.com/news/4452519-woman-fighting-cancer-seven-years-receives-big-surprise

I can't thank Angie enough for spearheading this whole vigil that took place at my house.  My pastor and our worship band came, there were prayers, and tears, and singing, and worshipping and community and overflowing hearts of love and joy.  Its the best possible way to tie this all up because it goes to show that despite everything- joy shows up.  Always.  Blessings flow.  Joy is contagious. and there were way more hugs and love than grief and sorrow.  Dr. Panwalkar even showed up- and that was just the icing on the cake.  Thank you Angie- your giving and generosity know no bounds!