...in the small moments missed.

"None of us knows how long we have. Remember that a pail with a pinhole loses as much as the pail pushed right over. A whole life can be lost in minutes wasted… in the small moments missed. None of this is forever grace. That’s why it’s amazing grace."               Ann Voskamp

The envelope arrived yesterday. 

My CT scan results show increased metastatic disease.  In one place where there was once two small spots, it now looks like one spot of 2.7cm.  In several other areas new nodes were prevalent along with some lesions.  My chest tightens as I read.

In his note to me, Dr. Panwalkar explains we simply did this CT scan to have a baseline to compare with future scans.  I know he is suggesting I don't panic and worry about the results. 

He has this.  HE has this.  

Friday I heard from the specialty pharmacy that my Tykerb was being prepared by the pharmacist and they would call to schedule delivery soon.  HURRY UP TYKERB!  

I will take 5 pills.  Daily.  I will have no days off.  Daily now.

The irony of this whole thing?  I told Dr. P I felt pretty well, but struggled with fatigue and a heaviness in my chest when I go for long walks.  I was thinking LUNGS.

Thank goodness HE is the doctor.

He upped my HEART medication.  Voila!  I almost instantly had a return of some energy.  

I'm up to two miles in my walks, rounding the corner into 3.  Take that lung mets!  

So when I got the fb message from my friend Kim, who is also a breast cancer survivor, that she and her husband would be traveling through town and could we meet?  I was thrilled.  

She is a faith-filled, sweet and warm, woman.  She is a survivor!  

Kim delivers these Hope Lives Now Baskets and blogs here.

So many thoughtful and encouraging gifts tucked away in the basket.  The mug has become my new favorite for my morning coffee.  Thanks Kim for visiting, connecting, and encouraging.  It felt like meeting an old friend!  I could have sat and laughed and talked all night.  I was left feeling so recharged by so many grace filled moments that night.

July 5th marked the 3rd anniversary of my Father's passing.  There was another bulky envelope tucked in with the rest of the mail.  It was a Minnesota license place similar to the one below.  

google images

We got a good laugh when we realized it was for my Dad's old truck.  We couldn't help but feel a nudge from him.  We miss him so.

So we decided to head for the lake.  It was one of my Dad's favorite places to go.  I was a girl after his own heart, and just wanted to honor him in the missing places of my little girl heart. 

With Nolan off on his own adventure, Rick, Colton and I took off.

My usually non-water child- could have fooled me! 

No trip to the lake feels complete without a little Zorbaz to eat. 

Then, while the men fished I took off with my camera, adding to my collection of the small. The grace. Being sure not to miss my moments.  

And while I live in the moments, collecting and adding them up... I wonder... if Grace starts movements... what is the movement awaiting me?