Monday, April 30, 2012

friends are the glue

“I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.” ― Jon Katz




We were friends in high school.  It should be said there are five of us.  But our friend Elizabeth couldn't be with us.  We just felt her spirit with us the entire time we hung out yesterday and missed her all the same.  

We were the original 80's teenagers.  We took our punk rock seriously, along with the leg warmers, Duran-Duran and our mocking "Valley Girl" slang.  Writing notes to each other was our own version of texting.  And you didn't want to get caught passing notes in class any more than you want to be caught texting in class these days.  

We went to Cher's Kitchen for the caramel rolls that were the size of a dinner plate- literally.  We rode our 10- speed bikes to the Holiday Mall with the Ben Franklin store and bought cheap make up at the drug store.  We drooled over Gloria Vanderbilt jeans and Nike tennis shoes.  Yeah, we said "drooled" a lot.  

We would sign our notes "Friends Forever," never knowing if we really would, if we really could.

So life happened and we lost track of some of our group.  We went to college, moved to the farm, moved to the city, scattered about, got married, had kids and lived. 

Who would have thought just a couple of years ago- caramel rolls would bring us together again.  I was walking into a restaurant with my family here in town, and as we rounded the corner to our booth, I saw a plate of caramel rolls, and heard three voices say my name all at the same time.  It was Elizabeth, Karla, and Carrie and I hadn't seen them in over 20 (cough) some years.   What are the odds?  

After inhaling some food, including one of those caramel rolls I was "drooling" over,  I sat with the three of them for awhile.  It felt natural.  It was all too short.  And I realized how much "history" we shared.  We knew each other's siblings, neighbors, and parents.  We had a lifetime to catch up on.

I wondered why my path had quite literally collided with theirs in this way, on this day?

We became "friends" on Facebook.  We texted each other, called sometimes or emailed.

Little did we know- that three of us would lose our fathers just months apart from each other.  We'd cry the same tears, grieve the same loss, share the same memories, and piece by piece discover the women we had become.  

And when I was diagnosed last year with breast cancer?  They came and surrounded me at my benefit.  Where my past friends became acquainted with my current friends.  Part of my life was coming full circle.



Saturday, we spent the day and part of the evening together.  We have kids that range in age from twenty something- all the way down to 2 years old. We live in three different places.  We have jobs, and husbands and houses and aging parents, and cancer, and problems and joys.  

Time still flies when we are together.  Stories get told and memories are shared and laughter flows. 

We talk already of the next gathering, with Elizabeth.

On the very day (in)RL (in real life) gatherings were happening across the country, I took part too.  It was my own gathering of community.  I just happened to be the lucky one whose community isn't new, it goes way back.   But whats happening is that we are rediscovering each other in new ways.

“You can go through life and make new friends every year - every month practically - but there was never any substitute for those friendships of childhood that survive into adult years. Those are the ones in which we are bound to one another with hoops of steel.” ― Alexander McCall Smith















13 comments:

  1. So true! I am glad you can stay connected to them!

    Wow Vicky, this is a super great post! Thanks. It is good for our souls to remember past things and look to the future with those we love and have loved for years!

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  2. This post, of all posts, made me choke up. It could be because you described my childhood, only I was younger. ;)
    I wonder if kids who grew up in the 1990s think their childhood was as great as those of us who grew up in the 80s. The music, the freedom, the note passing, the biking all over, etc...
    Those friends who we grow up with will forever share in indelible part of our history. They made us who we are. They are us.
    You look wonderful Vicky. :)

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  3. Awesome to have these friendships now all these years later. IT's true, the bond made in the early years, it always stays with you....

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  4. wonderful - what a gift!!

    God is so good to us!!

    hugs,
    xoTiffany

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  5. Have I ever told you, Vicky, how beautifully you write???? Especially when your heart is spilling all over --- it splashes off the screen and reaches deep within us. This was so beautiful today. I was always sorry that I did not stay in my home town where I grew up. I've often daydreamed and wondered about the kids I grew up with. I go through the scrapbook my Mom kept and see the pictures of these kids, and wonder how they all turned out.

    I'm so glad you reconnected like this. Just so beautiful!!!!!

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  6. Your post today, Vicky, reminded me of a song that I remember from my childhood Girl Scout days called, "Silver and Gold".

    Make new friends,

    but keep the old.

    One is silver,

    And the other gold.

    Eileen xxoo

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  7. It's so nice you could keep your girl hood friends like this We all left Quebec and heaven only knows where every one is.
    I never bumped into anyone by mistake and don;t even know that if we did we'd recognize each other :)
    Small world :)

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  8. Your friends sound like jewels in a most precious crown. Always remember that you are a jewel too, my friend.
    Love you,
    J.

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  9. Your friends are wonderful and you are soooo lucky to have such faithful supporters. I love the smiles.

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  10. Friends like that are such a gift. I don't have high school friends like that, but I do have college friends, and there is nothing like people who know you - the good, the bad, the ugly. Amazing that you reconnected so unexpectedly, and most definitely something orchestrated by God.

    And, hey, your hair is hanging in there! I love the shorter do.

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  11. Childhood friendships are so different and you have been given the gift of being reconnected with women who knew you "way back when" :-)
    Thinking of you and sending healing prayers your way, Vicky xo

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  12. The original encounter is an incredible story in and of itself. I'm so happy you all found one another again. What a beautiful account. And you tell is so adeptly, Vicky. I always feel like I need to thank you after I read your posts. So, again, thank you! For sharing your heart and soul and words. They are gifts to me! I am so happy to have had the chance to see you for that short while yesterday. You are never far from my thoughts sweet friend.

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  13. Love this post!!! :)
    So glad you guys met up and enjoyed!!!

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