Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Undone


It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold:  when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade.  ~Charles Dickens




The daffodils showed up by surprise on the doorstep the other day.  Thank you, they sure brought sunshine into our home!


Sue brought this over with a DQ card tucked inside... thank you Sue!



I'm on double time.  Spring is either giving us a test run or settling in long before anyone could have guessed it would.  So I am rummaging for t-shirts and shorts, while throwing snow boots and pants into nearby storage- just in case.  I'm scrubbing remnants of leftover winter- salty-muddy- gravelly mess all across the floor of the closet.  I take everything out and clean and sort and then grow too breathless to finish. The piles of shoes sit there, next to the vacuum cleaner with the tangled cord I am now too tired to drag back to the bedroom.

Everywhere I look, half completed projects abound.  So much undone. All of the dishes don't make it in the dishwasher anymore, and the clean ones don't always get to the cupboard either.  I'm actually too tired to cringe when someone stops by!  Welcome to the mess, our life is so fully entangled in it, we don't even notice the mess anymore.

But I do get the hint that my energy surge is sapped.  When I start coughing and the fire in my lungs won't cease, I stop spring cleaning and go radio silent for a day or two.  I curl up with "The Hunger Games," and lose myself in the story of a girl just trying to overcome incredulous amounts of danger and peril hurtling her way at rip-roaring speed.  I relate to her and her journey.  Its weird how much I cheer her on and will her to keep standing up and fighting back.  She is against the odds, and she is my kind of girl.

Chemo went well this am.  My blood counts rebounded nicely.  And in fact, I got the call from the radiation department that I will have the brain blob obliterated tomorrow afternoon!  I will start my xanax at home and then I will go in at 1:45 pm and start treatment at 2:10.

Will you pray for me?


Will you pray that I am able to put on my mask and hold still for the entire treatment?  That the radiation truly "targets" the bad cells and leaves as many as the healthy ones behind as it can?  That my Xanax cocktail provides me with just the right amount of sedation to keep my frayed nerves from unraveling?
  
Thank you.

Be back soon!

34 comments:

  1. Most definitely! Prayers continue.

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  2. Beautiful flowers, Vicky. Always praying. xxoo

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  3. You bet I will pray for you, sweet Vicky!!

    You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that everything tomorrow goes real good and real smoothly.

    Sending hugs!

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  4. Yes prayers for you are an honor...be brave, be calm and pray.

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  5. Yes, yes, yes! Will pray tonight and then pray again tomorrow. Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

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  6. Prayers your way...all day long!

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  7. Praying right now and will continue tomorrow.

    And how fun that you're enjoying The Hunger Games. I liked them so much I've read them more than once. ;)

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  8. So happy to see a post from you. Have found you on my mind and refreshing my google reader often today. I am praying for you and will be specifically tomorrow. I am a Hunger Games fan too...hope they are providing a much needed distraction from life 'stuff'!

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  9. Of course, I will be praying for you Vicky. ♥

    Jan

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  10. I pray for you daily! You are SOOO amazing! Gods hands are BIG to hold you. You are SO loved!

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  11. Praying for you...
    Yesterday, today, and tomorrow ;)

    xoxo,
    Michelle

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  12. Done and done! I will be praying for you!

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  13. Dear Vicky,

    I will pray for you today and i will look what time it is here in germany if you have your radiation.

    At that time i will send you much "light" and also "confidence/trust".

    I love you and you are near to my heart.

    Bussals
    Mimi

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  14. YES, YES, YES I will pray. My heart is with you and I will be praying for good Xanax effects and supernatural peace.

    Praying healing and wellness and protection and peace. Love to you and warmth and light, dear Vicky.

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  15. You will be in my thoughts & prayers throughout the day.

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  16. Love and light coming across the miles to buoy you. Holding you in my heart and in my thoughts.

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  17. Praying for peace and calm....and visualizing Pacman chomping up those bad bits (that's what I used to do for myself :)

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  18. Absolutely! I will pray extra for you today!

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  19. praying, praying and praying some more that your treatment will go quickly and that you will be calm and it will take care of the bad things!!

    Jackie

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  20. You know it, Girl. and Xanax is a wonderful thing... it WILL get you through. Don't be afraid to use it.

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  21. praying, praying, praying...always

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  22. Of course I will pray for you! I pray for all you need and more!

    I pray you find peace in knowing you are not alone (i do believe you know that alredy)!

    I pray you find strength way beyond what you think you can!

    I pray for you sweet Vicky! And think of you often!'

    All shall be well!

    xoTiffany

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  23. Vicky - I read your BLOG and think what an amazing person you are. I am a 12 year breast cancer survivor and feel lucky every day to be here 12 years later. I pray the same for you. You handle your disease with such grace and dignity. I truly admire you. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Love and Hugs, Susan

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  24. Oh gosh yes!!! We pray for you every day. You are always in our thoughts Vicky.

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  25. Praying for you and your medical team from est timezone of South Florida. God bless all of you.

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  26. Praying for you and your medical team from est timezone of South Florida. God bless all of you.

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  27. Praying for you at first light every day here in Massachusetts. Peace

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  28. Leave the vacum, leave the dishes. Leave the shoes in piles and just let what is left of winter live with you for a while.

    Leave it for now, and focus on the good radiation targeting just what it has to, leaving the rest. Focus on being still. Focus on the the goodness of Xanax. And in all that focusing, feel the loving prayers that surround you, are with you.

    Praying for you, dear Vicky.

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  29. I pray for you every day my dear. Good luck! I HAVE to read The Hunger Games, it is everywhere. xoxo

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  30. I'm thinking a lot about you today, praying you are ok and doing well. My pastor just went through all this, and it drained him completely. So seeing him go through it kind of helped me to know how to pray for you. And I will continue to pray every.single.day!!!!!

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I welcome what you have to say. Thanks for taking the time to grace me with your thoughts and words!

When you get lucky

When you get lucky

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