Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Fourteen and twenty-five years

We're in the Suburban driving somewhere, the boys squabbling in the backseat. We've debated sticking with the truck, even as the tally grows for new brakes, a new windshield and a growing rusted out back panel problem... or sucking it up and getting a newer, older one. He leans in just then and says, "You aren't thinking of trading ME in on a newer model, are you?" I can only chuckle at the absurdity of his question. You'd think I'd be the one who had to worry about that.  It seems I am the one getting "parted out" like an old pickup put out to pasture.  At least one new breast is in the works, and a wig is on standby, ovaries are in question as are lymph nodes.

But he shows me I need not worry, every day, in the littlest, and best ways. Like how quick he comes running home from work if there is too much weariness, too much fogginess, in my voice. "I'll drive the boys, take your meds, you rest. Oh, and I stopped for groceries, I knew we were low on milk." I never even asked.

Just like I don't ask for Dairy Queen any more. But he brought some Friday night just for me, after the boys were in bed. He knows I am mostly dairy free. He knows when we take the boys I usually decline.  But when he brings it home for just the two of us, its like our own private date. Its not like we say anything in particular. We are happy to just be, quietly, sitting together, enjoying an ice cream-sized moment together.

My new found status as a cancer patient has left me feeling vulnerable and sometimes exposed.  I pulled weeds in the flower bed one day, and paid with pain shooting through my back all the next day. Scrubbing floors and vacuuming ditto the response in my back.  I retreat to my heating pad for solace.  We feel too young sometimes to have taken on these roles... me patient, him caretaker.  Its easy to succomb to the demands of these roles however, while forgetting that you are still mother and father and husband and wife at the same time.  Yet, his demeanor hasn't changed.  He soldiers on without complaint.  I feel indebted to his "stick-to-it-tive-ness," as there are no guarantees the ride will get any smoother any time soon.

Its our anniversary today. We were married, officially, 14 years ago today. Unofficially, our hearts married some 25 years ago just after our first date. He had 400 hundred and some odd dollars on the dash of his Mustang, and a wide open night to do with as we pleased. I remember little of where we went, or even what we did, but we spent not a dime, and talked under a bright moon till the birds started to sing at dawn. And we learned that even in the quietness, speaking not a word, our heartbeats had started to commingle. All of these years later I know our commingled hearts will always be just enough to sustain us through the foreverness of him and I.


Happy Anniversary Superman!










These are a few more of the photos Ria took for us...  I think she got us really well.

24 comments:

  1. You are both so blessed to have each other! I think of you daily!!!! Love and miss you!

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  2. I love your post today...beautifully written and from your heart!

    High-five to DQ! You do need to treat yourself Vicky. What a nice hubby.

    Happpy Anniversary and enjoy your special day. Love the pics too.

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  3. Vicky congratulations on your Anniversary, you make a great couple, he sounds like a wonderful man. I so wish you were feeling better. I guess the thing is to not overdo it although that is hard I imagine. sending prayers and love your way. hugs.

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  4. I've been following your blog for awhile, sometimes sporadically because of being away from the computer. I have praying and rooting for you.
    This post is soul stirring. It is the little things without any glitz or requests that mean the most. I can see my hubby doing the same for me with Dairy Queen if I were in your shoes. (It's my only dairy product. I am non-dairy to ease imflammation due to chronic fibromyalgia.)
    The commingling of hearts and minds happened with us too. And our first date 25 years after our last date was sitting and talking 'til the wee hours of the morning also--we knew we were going to take a stand against family and make it work which we have. It will 13 years this July and our families ended up loving our union. :)
    Beautiful photos. Your love for and happiness in each other shows through. Blessings --Beth from Ohio

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  5. Love, love, love it! It's the little things that make a couple...a relationship...love.Such a great tribute. Happy Anniversary!

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  6. Oh I love Superman more now than I did before...He knows you so well doesn't he? And he loves you well.
    Happy Happy Anniversary my dear friend...
    xo R

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  7. What a romantic and inspiring story of love and devotion. And what sweet pics! Happy Anniversary Vicky and Rick!

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  8. I would marry anyone in a heartbeat who brought me Dairy Queens. No doubt about it!

    Loved your post today, Vicky. God just knew it was meant to be, didn't He???? Happy Anniversary!!!

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  9. You both are truly blessed, Vicky! Happy Anniversary!

    “There is no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right next to the one you love.”

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  10. awww, happy anniversary! i think a man that brings home dq just because is definitely golden.

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  11. and... i'm crying. i love you so much, and i love rick even more than I did - and i already loved how he made you smile and made you feel whole. but i see more of his tender heart and sweet gentleness that accompanies all the superman moments. and i am so grateful to him for loving you so well. truly.

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  12. What a gracious gift you have been given in each other. What loving hearts you both have. Anniversary blessings for now and always.

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  13. I don't generally leave comments on blogs, but this post touched me. In today's world, it's heartwarming to hear of such love stories. Congratulations, I hope you have a blessed, wonderful anniversary!

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  14. Happy anniversary to both of you! You both are so wonderful together and compliment each other to the "t".

    Have a great evenining together.

    {{Hugs}}

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  15. Oh Vicky... such a beautiful post. What a wonderful couple, I love how much you love each other, and the little ways you show it.

    Happy Anniversary~

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  17. Happy anniversary Vickie

    Hold on to love for it is precious.
    Hold on and it will get yout through.
    I have hope.

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  18. That last photo is so very sweet!!

    Happy Anniversary to you both!! Aren't you a gorgeous couple!!

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  19. Thank you for sharing about true love. You have a very special relationship. The photos talk without words.

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  20. That is love.

    Wonderful pics of the two of you and Happy Anniversary!

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  21. Happy Anniversary Vicky I wish both of you another 100 years of happiness together. The pictures are lovely! God bless you with everything that your heart desires :) Much love!

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  22. Happy Anniversary,,,,to both,,,:)

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  23. Wonderful post- what a blessing to have each other and to feel that way about your spouse :)

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