Thursday, April 15, 2010

The missing thing

Somethings missing.  I haven't been able to put a finger on it all day.  I looked for it everywhere.  Blue sky? Check.  Rhubarb poking through the leaves? Check.  Sunshine, sunbursts and color in my no longer gray and white days?  Check, check, check.

Why is it not quite right?  I am joyful but with a side of wistfulness I haven't been able to articulate.  But then I reached down to clear some leaves, and found...





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... a clump of her fur.

Its the first time in 13 years my ever faithful backyard buddy hasn't been at my side in these early days of Spring. I am dumbfounded every time I recognize the old tender ache of missing my girl, Dakota, sneaking up on me.  So I invited the sadness in to mingle with the joy, and sat together with it in the sun.  Just a girl, alone, missing her dog.

19 comments:

  1. Oh Vicky, you tender thing. I know how you must ache. Such a sweet post. Such lovely pictures. You loved her well. You gave her a good life.

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  2. Oh Vicky
    that is tender and sweet... they do leave a big hole and it takes funny little things to remind us of that emptiness...I still often wonder what my last doogie is up to as if she is away somewhere on holiday kicking up her heels...

    happy days

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  3. Vicky: They do leave such a hole in our lives once they are gone. Something irreplacable missing.

    I know exactly how you feel. I too have been moping around for no apparent reason - feeling inordinately blue and a little like I could weep at the drop of a hat. Then I recalled that our beloved golden retriever died in April, 6 years ago. I have been planning a post about her too.

    Dakota must have been a very happy and lucky dog to have you as her master. Thanks for sharing her beautiful picture. Hope you are able to enjoy many of the happy times with her.

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  4. Dakota is beautiful and I bet she is there in spirit with you.

    Keep you memories close to your heat and never let them grow cold and Dakota will never ever be far away.

    Sending a Big hug to you.

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  5. Awwww honey I'm so sorry! It will get a little easier with time but you will always miss her! 8 years after my childhood dog died and I still have those days.

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  6. Oh Vicky, I'm so sorry. There are special pets that go way beyond the regular, expected attachment. Dakota was one of those that is so much more than a dog. Their passing leaves such a big hole.

    I was just talking to a friend on Tuesday about missing my Kitty Baby. She passed about 15 months ago after 18 years and I still can't scroll by the tribute post I wrote to her without a catch in my throat and all out tears, if I read it. I miss her SO much. I haven't been able to get another cat.

    From my heart to yours - I'll share your sadness today.

    I Love You,

    Robynn

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  7. I still miss my little friend and it's been several years now ... their companionship and love brings such sweetness

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  8. I know how you feel Vicky. It's amazing how quickly they become part of our routines, part of our early mornings, part of our lives. And it is then not so surprising how much we miss them when they are no longer there. Dakota was a beautiful dog!

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  9. Oh, I dread the day that Ginger won't be my constant shadow anymore. I feel for you.

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  10. Oh, I would miss her so much too! We become so attached to our fur friends.

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  11. Vicky, you have such a wonderful heart. I can see how she was a beauty. So sorry that you lost her. Hugs :)

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  12. My heart goes out to you, been there, felt that. And this I say as I take one back and forth to the vet for chemo, knowing her days are numbered. :-(

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  13. And Dakota was a GORGEOUS dog...You will never fully get over missing her...she was a one of a kind. I still miss my dog, and he died 7 years ago...sigh...You are in my thoughts, dear Vicky! Sending you big cyber hugs!! Love you, Janine XO

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  14. Oh this is so sad. When did this happen?
    Mine is still here. Sleeping , munching, deaf,lol
    I stopped begging him to go out but I don't feed them till he does so when its chow time he knows he has to go out and then be fed so it became a routine and he struggles to go outside and come back in. But I see he enjoys sitting and looking and smelling the fresh air, then he comes waddling to the back door and barks to be let in and then he expects his reward of supper.
    Job Well Done.:)
    No one wants to do the deed so he will stay I guess.
    I hope the day never comes and God takes him first.

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  15. My heart goes out to you and I wish I could bring some comfort to you as you are enveloped in sadness. You did as much as you could to give Dakota a good and happy life. And she gave back as much as she could. You're brave enough to have had a dog. We didn't keep any because their loss would be overwhelming!

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  16. Dakota was a great dog -- she was your ever present and ever faithful companion and she will always be with you in your heart. Christopher saw this picture and thought it was Fletcher -- I tried to explain it was your dog-- he looked at it and ran over to Fletcher, then back to the picture then back to the dog -- I couldn't figure out what he was doing --- then he stood up and announced -- yes, a lot of white -- that dog is Fletcher....there is no challenging a 3 year old....

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  17. I miss her for you. I've been afraid to say anything but Dakota has romped through my mind 50 times...feeling a bit of your heavy heart this morning. Sending hugs and love...
    xoxo

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  18. oh, i feel your tender ache. and i try not to feel it too long with you because i don't want to imagine it. or think it could ever happen.

    i'm so sorry dakota's gone. riley is sending you love and puppy kisses. wish it could help.

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  19. Oh Vicky that made my eyes tear up. You wrote that straight from your heart. The ache will continue for a long time. She was a part of your family for a long time. Take Care x

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