It's the phrase my friend IRL as well as in blogger land, Bonnie, uses to title her posts and you just know you are in for a hilarious account of what its like to be a mom of 4 kids.
Today I stepped into her shoes with the help of just one child. Here is my version of "You can't make this stuff up..." Bonnie, this one's for you!
I go to bed last night anticipating getting up in the morning and traveling 2 1/2 hours to an away hockey game for Nolan's team. At 3 am I get a poke in the side. It's Colton with a stomach ache. I give him an antacid and settle him down next to the side of the bed, on the floor. Antacid does not work. Pull out the big guns and give him Emetrol. Quiets him for awhile and just as I am drifting off to sleep I hear mad dash running to the bathroom. He proceeds to vomit 3 times over the next hour. Settle him back down finally a little after 4 only to hear him run to the bathroom again, this time with explosive diarrhea. Now the whole family is not only awake, but up. Finally a little after 5 am and we all doze back to sleep. Colton keeps down a few sips of Gatorade.
Obviously I decide to stay home today. Colton continues with one more bout of diarrhea, but vomiting subsides. Feeling I am in the clear after Rick and Nolan leave, I head downstairs to start washing soiled... everything.
I come upstairs and hear Colton call from the bathroom...
"Good news mom! I had diarrhea again while you were downstairs and I did NOT get it on the floor!! But just a tiny spot (read BIG WET SPOT on WHITE chair) got on the chair... oops sorry."
I get Colton in the shower, clean him up, dry his hair and go downstairs to retrieve clean clothes for him. I come upstairs to find him in the bathroom AGAIN. I remember we are out of wipes and go to find him some and he calls out "I already wiped mom, its fine, I used the new pack I found on the counter!"
I run into the bathroom in horror. He has wiped his raw little behind with the only wipes left on the counter, TOILET CLEANING WIPES!!! Thank goodness they are Method cleaners and the worst he got was probably a little Eucalyptus... which hopefully smells more strongly than it feels!
Seriously, "you can't make this stuff up!"
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