Tuesday, February 16, 2010

What I wanted to say...

What I wanted to say...

 Sunday afternoon, Valentine's day I received the news of an answered prayer. A liver had been found... for sweet baby Elijah, Nolan's teacher's newly adopted baby.

We'd been following the ups and downs of this journey since we first heard the news of the adoption the day before Thanksgiving vacation. We got a note simply explaining Nolan would be getting a long term sub at school, while his teacher took family leave to care for their newly adopted baby boy.

We sent baby gifts instead of teacher gifts at Christmas. Nolan insisted on a baby Minnesota Wild hockey jersey. We heard Eli was oh so cute. I could imagine the joy this newly created family was experiencing.

About the time we anticipated news of Mrs. Johnson's return to her classroom, sad news arrived. Baby Eli had respiratory problems and upon further examination the doctors had discovered a failing liver due to the spread of an infection, as well as some other health problems.

A Caring Bridge site was started, and an arduous journey began to find Eli a liver. Many prayer warriors went to work. His site was filled with scripture and bible verses, and prayers lifting up this family.

Nolan's class and the rest of the teachers in third grade, made a baby quilt to send to Eli. A note went out to all of the parents that assured us all of the teacher's in the third grade family would help Nolan's sub stay on top of the classroom and their work.

Then Sunday, the news that a liver was found. I could think of no bigger Valentine's gift, than the gift of life. When I said I was surrounded by love on Sunday, this is the event that was at the center of my thoughts.

We awoke Monday morning to the news that surgery would begin just before noon. At 7:30 last night, the last entry for Eli was entered. Baby Elijah went to be with Jesus sometime yesterday.

It wasn't what I wanted to say...

In fact, I didn't say anything to Nolan this morning. I didn't want my own emotion to set the stage for his. I didn't know how to tell him, or what words to use. I'm waiting to see how or if the news is shared at school. In the meantime, my heart is breaking for Mrs. Johnson and her family.

I shared last year about our own family's journey through loss. While it will be nine years ago at the end of February, I can't say my emotions are ever very far from the surface in remembering.

What I am going to say... is that I still don't have the words. They fail me at times like this. Maybe, that is all that can be said, and the tears are meant to fill in the gaps.

16 comments:

  1. I'm so saddened to hear about the loss of baby Elijah. I pray for Mrs. Johnson and her family. Vicky, I have tears on my face now after reading about little Hunter. I'm so very sorry for your loss. He was beautiful. Hugs dear friend. I'm thinking of you today :)

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  2. So sorry to hear of this loss so close to your family and the reminder of the loss of Hunter James. What a beautiful account and tribute you give of his life.

    Nolan is so blessed to have such loving parents to help him understand the complexities of life.

    Take care of yourself Vicky.

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  3. Oh, I am so so sorry for their loss, and yours. There is a loss of innocence when having to tell your child of something so unthinkable. But he will learn and grow from this... understanding empathy and the fragility of life. He'll learn about love and compassion because you will teach him so well.

    Loving you, friend.

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  4. you've reminded us how fragile life can be ... and how precious

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  5. This touches my heart deeply, my deepest sympathy to the Johnson family and yours also.

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  6. This is so sad! I will be praying for all!

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  7. Vicky....I am so very sorry.
    You are a caring and loving Mother and friend. Nolan's teacher is in my prayers...as is Nolan.

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  8. There is no understanding for loss such as that, but hopefully in time peace will come, the kind of peace only God can give, the kind that passes understanding and stands on faith.

    Blessings.

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  9. Oh Vicky...my heart dropped when I read this...I was so hoping to read something else.
    I'm praying for them.
    ...hugs~Robin

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  10. Oh goodness Vicky! My heart feels broken for the Johnson family. I am so sad for them. Then, I went back and read your post about Hunter and now I'm just sad beyond words. You did a wonderful job or telling the story though. Wiping away the tears now.....

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  11. I was reading this last night at the table after dinner. I asked Hali if they had made a quilt for one of the 3rd grade teachers when I got to that part in your post. She told me.....I said no, they found a liver! She said no, he died....I continued reading and was bawling. Hali gave me a hug. I gave Boden a hug.

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  12. prayers and thoughts....
    and tears that can't be controlled right now....
    what a heart breaking story....

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  13. What a hard thing to post about. Bless you for your gift of compassion and caring.

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  14. This is very sad.
    Nothing is worse than watching a baby suffer and they will always be our babies.
    We always wish for better endings to our stories but sometimes it is not meant to be.
    We will light a candle for this precious little soul.Thanks
    Gosh Pretty soon my house will be full of lit cANDLES.HMMM

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  15. I am so sorry to hear of the loss. May God give Mrs. Johnson and her family the strength to sail through this.

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  16. Oh my goodness what a terrible tragedy. They are all in my prayers!!!!!!

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