What I wanted to say...
Sunday afternoon, Valentine's day I received the news of an answered prayer. A liver had been found... for sweet baby Elijah, Nolan's teacher's newly adopted baby.
We'd been following the ups and downs of this journey since we first heard the news of the adoption the day before Thanksgiving vacation. We got a note simply explaining Nolan would be getting a long term sub at school, while his teacher took family leave to care for their newly adopted baby boy.
We sent baby gifts instead of teacher gifts at Christmas. Nolan insisted on a baby Minnesota Wild hockey jersey. We heard Eli was oh so cute. I could imagine the joy this newly created family was experiencing.
About the time we anticipated news of Mrs. Johnson's return to her classroom, sad news arrived. Baby Eli had respiratory problems and upon further examination the doctors had discovered a failing liver due to the spread of an infection, as well as some other health problems.
A Caring Bridge site was started, and an arduous journey began to find Eli a liver. Many prayer warriors went to work. His site was filled with scripture and bible verses, and prayers lifting up this family.
Nolan's class and the rest of the teachers in third grade, made a baby quilt to send to Eli. A note went out to all of the parents that assured us all of the teacher's in the third grade family would help Nolan's sub stay on top of the classroom and their work.
Then Sunday, the news that a liver was found. I could think of no bigger Valentine's gift, than the gift of life. When I said I was surrounded by love on Sunday, this is the event that was at the center of my thoughts.
We awoke Monday morning to the news that surgery would begin just before noon. At 7:30 last night, the last entry for Eli was entered. Baby Elijah went to be with Jesus sometime yesterday.
It wasn't what I wanted to say...
In fact, I didn't say anything to Nolan this morning. I didn't want my own emotion to set the stage for his. I didn't know how to tell him, or what words to use. I'm waiting to see how or if the news is shared at school. In the meantime, my heart is breaking for Mrs. Johnson and her family.
I shared last year about our own family's journey through loss. While it will be nine years ago at the end of February, I can't say my emotions are ever very far from the surface in remembering.
What I am going to say... is that I still don't have the words. They fail me at times like this. Maybe, that is all that can be said, and the tears are meant to fill in the gaps.
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