A small update

I hardly know where to begin.  I've tried so many times to get an update out to my dear readers, but I haven't found the best way in order to do so. 

In a nutshell, here is what has happened. 

I've been in and out of the hospital- 11 days total. 

 We simply couldn't find a method to use to update my blog in the hospital.  I also couldn't manage with my phone.  I had to rely on Facebook, knowing so many readers aren't necessarily connected to me in that way.  

I've been home now for almost a week.  Some strength returning, from a bout with a complicated infection which had me knocked down pretty good.

I even got to spend my 50th birthday in the very hospital I was born.  I don't recommend my venue, although the company I had was great.  My brother, Lee, flew in with my niece, Alex, to surprise me. But boy did I surprise him/them.  I had been admitted just hours after he left Pennsylvania.  The look of shock on both our faces as he walked into my room at the hospital was possibly priceless.  I can say, the best gift, was time spent face to face, one on one, just talking with Lee, and truly all of my guests.  Alex, my niece, was also a trooper and sheer delight to spend time with.  

The other guests we had were Rick's brother, Matt, his wife Julie, and their 3 kids.  My boys were in cousin heaven!  I was so grateful for the time they had together, despite the fact I could not see the younger kids. 

At some point in my first hospitalization, we figured out the infection I had, was most likely coming from my kidney stent.  The same day, I was taken into surgery by Dr. Williams who had placed my first stent.  The very next day after surgery my counts rose enough for me to go home.

Even though, less than 24 hours later, I had another bout with chills, then fever.  I was readmitted that Friday night.

 So many blessed events had already occurred- and they just seemed to continue.  Friday night as I sat at the clinic, I was given a direct admission from the Oncologist on call so that I could bypass the ER.    Dr. Panwalkar had already prepared him for the fact I may be calling him.  Plus, I also found out, the next day, Dr. P was on-call and I would see him both Saturday and Sunday.

It truly seems that, for all those who prayed for me, every prayer felt like it was heard and answered.  My care was first rate while I was at Sanford.  From garnering a private room, to Dr. Panwalkar coming each and every day to see me, I felt watched over.  I had a wonderful view of downtown Fargo, with an entire wall of windows to see out.  I could see two beautiful churches and even hear the bells ring in one of them.  I watched many sunrises, and sunsets.  I could go on and on.

No it wasn't all easy.  It was truly hard and difficult.  I surrendered to so many new things, over and over again.  

But here I am.  Still praying that whatever His purpose for my life might be, that somehow I fulfill that.  

I will be having blood work again today.  Then I will see a nurse practitioner, and we will decide if my counts are high enough to do a lower dose of the chemo I had July 5th.  I'm in a bit of a pickle.  The last thing I want to do is feel sick again, as I slowly start to feel better.  But with the new growth in cancer that showed up, I truly need that chemo to help me fend off that cancer.  

I simply don't know what is in store for me.  Neither does Dr. P, or any of the medical community.  My focus is narrowed to staying within each day and making the most I can out of that.  

The question I hear most often?  What can I do for you?  I'm so touched... it's simply this:

Will you all keep holding me up in prayer?  A few things on my heart: 

I'm a little lightheaded and my legs feel as though they can go right out from under me- I don't want to fall.  

My blood counts, both my platelets and my hemoglobin as well as my white blood cells are low and could use a boost. 

My boys and their precious hearts and minds are often burdened and sad- they just need to know in their hearts they will get through this no matter what.

Superman has been my superhero- and he also simply needs to know he has continuously met all of my needs and I'm in awe of his commitment and compassion.  Its ok for him to let others help, too.

I'm deeply indebted to you all!  Will do my best to get an update out at some point.  

~all shall be well~