Ob la di... life goes on

After I had my PET scan on a Friday, it was early the next week I received a call from Dr. Panwalkar.    Progression, was the gist of the call, my cancer had progressed, some areas worse than others- and one area in my right lung actually showed some improvement.  But it was evident I needed to change treatment, and we had spent ample time deciding which one I would do.  

I'll get to that in just a bit...

Because really?  It isn't where my focus lies these days.  I've detached a bit.  I simply don't know, can't know- do I even want to know(?) what lies ahead?  I have eyes for the here.  For the now, and the nearly now... just now.  

So what do you do with your time?  Well...

I cooked a meal.  We've received way more meals than I can count- every one of them leaving me with the desire to try some new recipes and up my game a little.  So I cooked, and the boys loved it.  Even though it took my whole day, and we devoured it in minutes.  I was so stinkin proud of that one meal.  Each day has somehow flown by, and I do little things, which feel so big, when it takes so much for me to do them.

And all of you?  Have found the most unique and clever ways to lift our spirits.

Like just last night...

Was that the doorbell?  A knock on the door?  We heard something in the front of the house...  But the fireplace fan was loud in the back of the house and the Penguins were playing- and I was out of bed sitting in the midst of the boys- watching with them.

So I didn't make it to the door on time...

But when I peeked outside... my heart stopped when I opened the door and found this!!  Ria who took all these photos of us- made us this beautiful canvas.  We've had a photo hook, on the wall, empty for the longest time... waiting it seems for this.  I moved it to get a picture of it...

As soon as the boys saw it they laughed and started the "Do you remember?" stories behind all the photos.  Remember how the marshmallows were huge!  And Colton was giddy over making s'mores.  We all loved checking out the grounds of Rustic Oaks.  It was such a great night...  and Ria captured it all so well.  I feel especially honored, when someone uses their talents, to graciously bestow such a gift on us.  Thank you, Ria!  These all breathe such renewed life into me, I can barely describe it.

I awoke to a special treat Saturday morning.  The Narum family brought us home made cinnamon rolls!  They were hot and delicious and devoured instantly.  I felt so touched they took the time to bless us with such a yummy gift!  Thank you Denette and Bill!  

We had a pretty low-key Easter.  As much as I longed to go to church and have a simple meal later at home, Grandpa Jim needed Rick and the boys at the lake.  He sold his lake home in Park Rapids and has limited time to finish clearing out all of the rest of the stuff in the garages.  

I was too weak to go to the lake, and to tired to even get myself to church, so I spent a quiet day at home.  It was just a few days past my Mother's 2nd year anniversary of her going to her heavenly home, and I was pretty melancholy.  I had even wanted to get some Easter things for the boys- who just didn't want anything.  I think I realized I wanted it more for myself, than anything.  I was so happy to have the boys all return home that night...

It was the very next day when the doorbell rang again.  It was a box... and the return address said Washington... and my heart started to beat just a little faster, and the tears finally fell.  If Linda only knew how much she "mothers me," just when I seem to need it most.  How did she so adequately send me so many of my favorite things?  Colton too- danced his victory dance upon seeing the sparkling cider.  Words of hope for me to hear, and to read with my eyes, and treats to taste- life-giving for sure.  

Thank you, Linda- its the sort of thing both my mom, and Rick's mom would have done for us- we miss them so- and you somehow gave us just the light we needed!  You're pure gift to me- and I treasure you so!

My friend Bonnie sent this home with Nolan and I clung to that message for days.  I had truly been anxious and nervous about starting another new chemo and I loved the message that rang so true in this scripture.  So thankful Bonnie!

The flowers came with a scrumptious meal- and while the enchiladas were devoured in short order?  The flowers are still going strong!  I will always love having fresh flowers around.  Thank you, Steph- you always get it just right!! 

When my friend Roxane came to visit, she gifted me with both chia tea, and this beautiful rosary!  I have always wanted to know how to pray the rosary, and this helps so much.  I have the rosary near my desk and love the weight of it in my hands, and seeing it glisten when the sunlight hits it just right.  So thankful for your thoughtfulness, Roxane!  

So here I am last week.  Having my first round of "red."  I was so nervous, and yet, somehow, through the grace of God, it went so smoothly.  I had steroids, and then the chemo.  I spent nearly the next 3 days in a jittery, high-energy, state of being.  But I didn't feel too sick, or too anything really.  A little more pain when I was maybe a little too ambitious with some cleaning... but overall, not too bad... until...

My hair fell out!  So fast!  It truly went from being on the thin side, to clumps falling everywhere.  And once again, God's grace rained down, as I just so happened to have a hair appointment scheduled for yesterday.  So sweet Amanda chopped my hair.  And shaved it in places.  And carefully left some hair in places where it may grow in?  Or it may all continue to fall out, as it is still doing.

So meet my new hairpiece!  I was so truly uplifted again, to know I had something to go to.  It fit perfectly, and simply reminds me of the hair I had once upon a time.  Its so soft, and healthy!  To all the wonderful women who contributed to the purchase of this beautiful piece of "real" hair,  I'm humbled beyond words.  Since Stella has been retired, I need a new name for this piece.  Ideas anyone?

I could literally go on... with pictures of the beautiful cards sent.  The gorgeous daily devotional that came in the mail.  The lovely visits I've had from so many...  so many things... 

I have a hard time truly understanding all of this... I'm keeping it pretty simple...

A memory came up on Facebook from after I was first diagnosed... one night a bunch of hockey moms had gathered, in my honor, and somehow we ended up doing karaoke at a local pub...  I had used this phrase... so we sang the song that night.  And its stayed with me ever since... 

Ob La Di Ob La Da... life goes on...

With gratitude and love to you all...