“But grace can be the experience of a second wind, when even though what you want is clarity and resolution, what you get is stamina and poignancy and the strength to hang on.”
― Anne Lamott,
The beautiful basket of flowers my friend, Linda, sent to me.
Rick says he gets asked all the time, "Great news about Vicky's scans, is she out enjoying herself?" And he smiles and shakes his head, "no, not quite."
Even though this week will mark my second week past chemo- I haven't fully come back into feeling well. I tire so easily. I walked across the street yesterday, sat in the sun a bit with my friend, and came home with the gift of a pie plate full of delicious apple crisp.
But I was struggling to breathe just from coming across the street. The sun had zapped any energy I had and I tumbled into bed exhausted. Again. Just like the day before. Which reminds me of Friday, and most of the days before that... as I experience a myriad of chemo side effects.
In truth? I barely leave the house. My world feels very small. My mind quiet. My voice hushed.
But October has some big dates circled on the calendar. The "embracing life," breast cancer retreat will be October 1st and 2nd. I will be doing part of the "Using technology to promote healing, panel." And our stage iv, fourward, group has a special presentation we are working on. And Dr. Panwalkar will be part of a panel of experts answering all of our questions. I can't believe its the 3rd retreat already and I've been given the honor of being a part of all 3.
It's also Moorhead High School's Homecoming Weekend, and Nolan went to great lengths to surprise a sweet girl with an invitation to attend the Homecoming Dance with him... and she said yes. Of course, that is about all I know, but am hopeful more will be disclosed when he is ready to share with me. Oh to be 15 again.
In the meantime my prayers include asking for the very kind of grace that Anne Lamott speaks of- a second wind ripe with stamina and strength to hang on and just keep going- living out His will for my life.