Friday, July 17, 2015

the birthday misadventure... and the gift

I never would have thought it would be Dr. Panwalkar who would give me my biggest Birthday gift yesterday...




It was just a case of the sniffles two mornings ago.  I sneezed and sneezed.  But then it started to change as I readied for bed.  My heart was beating so fast.  So I took my meds and awoke yesterday morning, ready to celebrate my birthday.

I was so touched by the outpouring of well wishes showing up on my fb page!  I sat responding, and sneezing, and aching.

Then shivering.

Then heart racing again, and I was next back in bed.

And soon we're calling.

"Come right in to the treatment center."

Dr P it seems, had a sudden cancellation and he could see me in an hour.  

That alone was a gift.

By the time I got to the clinic my fever was spiking, and my heart was racing and I was declining.

"Dr. P, its my birthday, this is the last place I really want to be."  

Dr. P said, "well, we'll see how your blood counts look,  and decide admission to the hospital after that."

So officially, my blood counts came back "low," or as they like to say "in the toilet."  Neutropenia wins as my immune system becomes almost non-existent.  (Normal is around 1500, and mine was .7)  This sets my body up to not be able to fend off any germs, bugs, etc.

So straight to infusion I go.  And bags of IVs are hung and antibiotics are delivered and fluids and pain meds.... bag after bag is given.

And my phone just keeps dinging away with all kinds of well wishes, and Rick and I can only chuckle.  

I even wear my FP3 shirt ( Ferrie Performance is where both my kids do their athletic training and I wear their shirts as much as my kids do) for extra strength.


It also just so happens to be that Dr. P is on call this night, so he bounces back into my room a couple of times to check on me.  He is still deciding upon admission for me. 

"Dr. P, I was born here, in St. Lukes Hospital, 48 years ago."

"Really, and it was St. Lukes, then?"  

"Yes," I say, I stayed with my mom that night, but this time, on my birthday?  I'm just visiting!! 

He hearty- laughs, and says we'll see. 


But shortly later,  he comes back and decides, as long as I promise to call him middle of the night if I get worse?  He will let me go home!  


And part of me thinks- all of those well wishes created just the positive energy force I needed to pave my way home. 


So its late, as Rick and drive through the stormy night, back home, which feels like the biggest gift to me.


This is part of the post I had started earlier yesterday...



My friend, Joy made these for me.  You write a word on a sticker and then attach them to the glass beads.  You take a word with you each day... see mine for yesterday?  How cool, that wish was front and center.  Thank you Joy!


This cake brings me right back to my childhood.  Its homemade by my Aunt Carol, and was always featured at our birthday parties growing up.  Its made from scratch, and is so moist and delicious- I even managed a slice last night late when I got home.  Thank you Bill and Carol!


Here are a few more goodies I have received.  I'm more behind than ever in writing notes of gratitude, but I am so touched, by each thing, each time.  



The boys were so excited to show me this, when I got home.  Colton literally felt like it might have been HIS birthday, with all the cool stuff we got.  Thank you, Sue's mom :)


I could barely prop myself up.  I'm as stripped down, bare and real, as I can be.  


But I'm here!  48 feels pretty great.  And I got every stinkin' one of those candles in one big breath!  










46 comments:

  1. A beautiful cake. Here's hoping your 49th birthday is much happier!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. the happiest of belated birthday wishes and i'm so glad you went home, to your own bed and that love that your boys and hubby surround you with!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tell us the secret to how you look so healthy and beautiful when you had just arrived back home from the hospital. Happy Birthday and many more (my pray for you).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its all those prayers and kind words and support you all show me- its what keeps me going for sure. xoxo

      Delete
  4. You sure look beautiful for all you went through the day of your birthday! Hugs Vicky :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. "bare and real as you can be" - and so very beautiful. Happy birthday!! May God bless you and keep you...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you- blessings to you too!

      Delete
  6. Happy, Happy Birthday, my dear soul sis!
    My birthday wish for you...more days and weeks and months and years!
    More adventures and seeing 49 and 59 and 69 and more.

    May you soak in ALL the love that surrounds you. May you know that you are
    loved and cherished beyond measure. May you know in your deepest heart of hearts that
    you are loved...deep and wide. Deep and wide.

    May you know that you are His beloved daughter and He never leaves you, not even for a moment.

    And you got to go HOME! God Bless Dr. P. What an answer to prayer. And most of all, you are here, still, to celebrate your birthday! Praise God, you are still here, fighting and loving and seeking and giving, and hoping and believing and blowing out candles.

    Truly, you are a GIFT, every day, to all of us!
    Love you, soul-sis, to the moon and back!
    Linda

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Soul- sis,

      So thankful for YOU :) Love always!

      Delete
  7. Happy Birthday ~ praying for you ~ you are an inspiration and so very courageous.
    Keep pressing on with Jesus ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Maryellen- truly blessed by your sweet words!

      Delete
  8. prayed for you tonight as i took off the prayer bracelet that Robin gave me--you know, the one with the knots that she got from the monastery? anyway, prayed for release from joint pain, stomach pain, and the sadness that hair falling out brings. so thankful for Dr. P's personal attention throughout your day. peace, sweet friend. and sleep.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I still wear mine, too, Jenn! Thankful for your prayers- always- they see me through- so, so much.

      Delete
  9. Thrilled that you got to go home and not spend your WHOLE birthday at St. Luke's. And wish you hadn't been feeling so bad but I'm not surprised at all that your indomitable spirit (and all the prayers) got you through.

    Happy 48th, dear friend. Happy, HAPPY Birthday. As I say that and I think of the ages of our kids I'm realizing we had our babies at pretty near the same age: :)

    I will now pray that your immune system strengthens and you rebound quickly. Keep fighting like a girl, my warrior princess. I love you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love you, Robynn, so thankful for you life-affirming words- always! Please know how much I think of you and pray for all you are going through as well.

      Delete
  10. HI Vickie, I've found you again on facebook. Best wishes and a belated Happy Birthday. You've probably lost track of me, but now my name is Fran Gray, (used to be your neighbor across the street). Phone 651 373 6527. Ask Mary Ann to call me. Lots of things have happened since those days when you and Dana and Lee played together. I'm going thru photos and wish I could send you one of them but I'm not so good on the computer. You were such cute kids. I'm living in St Paul now and had dinner with Dana list night. Take care. I so much enjoy your writing. Dana told me you do a lot of writing. Anyway congratulations on blowing out all of candles. Love, Fran

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran- what a delight for me to see you pop up here! I sent you a message on Facebook- not sure if you saw it yet, or not. But I gave you more detailed info., and hopefully you can see it there! I have such fond memories of hanging out with Dana, and some beautiful photos too! Love to you- Vicky

      Delete
  11. Happy bday, sweet Vicky. I continue to keep you in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So thankful for your prayers and sweet words, Katie!

      Delete
  12. My Birthday Wish For You: Continued expansion of the connective tissue linking your wonderful family and friends to the building of your immune system and renewal of health.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is simply, beautiful, Kass! Grateful for you- and so touched- always.

      Delete
  13. Oh I new it was your birthday! I was going to mention it in my last e-mail and forgot! My daughters was yesterday. Vicky, Happy happy Birthday! I am so glad love surrounded you, despite your immune system going down the toilet! My birthday wish for you is like everyone else's... I want to throw you a huge 50th Birthday bash! when that day comes :) Many prayers and much love!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Peggy! Yes- a huge bash on my 50th sounds perfect :) Love to you, sweet friend!

      Delete
  14. Bare and real and BEAUTIFUL!!!! So happy--you got to come home and your gifts are so full of love!

    Happy Birthday, Beautiful Friend of mine!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Julie! Such precious words from a beautiful person- inside and out!

      Delete
  15. I've been gone since Thursday so I missed your birthday sweet one...so happy you got to come home...sending love and praying for you to be well xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are close to me- always- the connection continues to run deep. Sending love and prayers right back to you!

      Delete
  16. Happy belated birthday, dear Vicky ... though it wasn't quite the birthday you expected or that everyone had planned for you. Your detour through the hospital allowed another special person in your life to spend part of the day with you. Thank you for allowing us to share in the celebration.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for choosing to come along. I feel so supported and encouraged by all of you!

      Delete
  17. You're a pretty lady. Happy Birthday and God bless you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Carol, so sweet of you! Blessings to you and yours!

      Delete
  18. Happy Birthday beautiful lady....I am glad Dr. P let you go home!
    Annie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Annie~ thank you- so kind of you. I got lucky- with Dr. P on call, we were both comfortable knowing I could call him if I got any worse.

      Delete
  19. Vicky, you look so well... how do you do that? I so admire your attitude in all this, it is very powerful. Much love to you!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you MaddyChristine- I think it is because of friends like you, who do so much to lift me in prayer and bless me so! Sending love right back to you~

      Delete
  20. Happy 48 years!! So glad you managed to stay out of the hospital for your birthday. I love the idea of all your friend's well wishes pushing you past the hump. And I hope you've come out of that chemo fog for a few days before the next treatment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! Yes- finally out of the thick of it for a few days- sigh- steeling to go again :)

      Delete
  21. Hi Sweet Soul Sis,
    Just thinking about you this morning and praying for your immune system, your peace of mind,
    and your knowing that all is well. At the prayer service at our church I gave them your name and what to pray for. So our prayer group is also praying for you every morning! :)
    You are marinated in prayer!!

    Love you to the moon and back, Vicky!
    Linda

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so honored, Linda, you would think to pass my name along for prayers. Its such a gift and I think its helped me so much- I'm very touched! Loving you right back :)

      Delete
  22. Happy, Happy belated Birthday! My family and I wish you all the best! You are always in our prayers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So thankful, Genny! Blessing to you and yours!

      Delete

I welcome what you have to say. Thanks for taking the time to grace me with your thoughts and words!

When you get lucky

When you get lucky

Popular Posts

Minnesota.com

Minnesota.com - MN Weather, Map, Businesses and Blogs