Wednesday, May 27, 2015

"in the weeds.."

She's been sitting in my tree for over a week.  Sometimes, forward facing.  Sometimes, backwards, with just her tail feathers hanging over the edge.  I've never seen her move.  Ruffle her feathers.  Turn her head.  Blink an eye.  She is just devoted and determined, to help nurture those babies nestled in their shells, until the time to enter this world, comes to fruition.

We've even had to mow around the tree, and yet she stays.  Its poured rain.  Yet she remains.  Steadfast.  Strong.

Crosby takes up residence below the branches of the nest, and not a squawk is heard.  

I marvel at her resilience.  

She is teaching me through her maternal instincts.  How to live "in the weeds," or in the midst of watching and waiting.



Mourning doves are rich with symbolism.  

Their distinctive “wooo-oo-oo-oo” sounds are evocative and are often associated with grief over the loss of a loved one.  How fitting this is to me.  And yet...

But far from representing loss, "the symbolism of mourning doves gives us optimism with its spirituality. Beyond their sorrowful song is a message of life, hope, renewal and peace."  







The "lip dub" video below will uplift you so!  This is Horizon Middle School- both Nolan's and Colton's school.  Mr. Brian Cole the Orchestra teacher,  with the help of two students, orchestrated and produced this masterful Lip-Dub video using over 1400 of the schools students.  

Colton was picked to play a small role that comes at about the 1:42 mark- you'll see him pulling someone on a scooter going backwards.  

With the students decked out in their orange and black "Spud Pride," colors this whole video was shot in just one take!  With nothing but an iPhone, and a lens attached, 1400 kids lined throughout the halls of the school, lip synching to some popular songs.  It all ends with a huge celebration of confetti, dancing and a ginormous balloon drop.  

With just over 17, 000 views, we would love to see the viewership grow if you are so inclined to watch even part of it.  

If the clip below doesn't play you can see it HERE on Youtube.





I think my presentation with Dr. Hysjulien, for the Embrace series presentation,  went well last week.  I spoke about "Living your Legacy," to a room full of Sanford nurses and staff people.  Tears and laughter were in abundance, and I hope that someone walked away with an idea of how to begin living their legacy.

I even was honored with a surprise.  A classmate of mine, that I haven't seen since high school, showed up to hear me speak.  Thank you Penny!  I was so touched by her thoughtfulness, and loved getting to spend time with her.  



I saw Dr. Panwalkar yesterday.  


Have you ever watched Top Chef?  Or one of the competitive cooking shows?  At some point, I picked up the term "He/She, is in the weeds."  Its like the finish line is approaching, and you're sweating, prepping, and preparing food at max speed, with little idea if you'll finish the dishes, before the guests arrive- who are hungry.  Not just ordinary, hungry.  They are ravenous- famished- starving.


I feel a bit like I am "in the weeds." Searching for a way through, for a treatment to utilize, before those ravenous cancer cells grow and multiply and spread.  


So after weighing some options, I think we've landed on the plan of seeing an Oncologist at the Brain and Spine Cancer Center, of MD Anderson, in Houston, Texas.  She has helped several other women like me, with breast cancer metastases, in their brain.  

So Dr. Panwalkar initiated the referral process, and we will wait and see. 


In the meantimes, I've been extremely humbled by all of the love shown to me by all of you.  Your grace-filled words and deeply felt care and concern, truly help me get through each day.  So much gratitude- so much.





















25 comments:

  1. Way to go Colton!..... and great to hear there is a plan, another route to take, sounds like a good one.

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    1. Yes- a new perspective does indeed hold promise :)

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  2. You are always in my prayers, dear Vicky.

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    1. I truly rely on those steadfast prayers, Katie- thank you!

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  3. I love the great shot captured of the nesting mama bird. Such devotion.

    I'm glad the talk went well, that your words were planted in the hearts of the listeners.

    And I am hopeful that your plan to move forward with treatment options in Texas will bear fruit. One step at a time ... with God's grace to light each turn ... I believe He will continue to guide and strengthen you, dear Vicky.

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    1. With God's Grace to light each step- amen to that. I am completely trusting in His provision in each step of this. Thankful to have you alongside me, always. Love to you~

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  4. I also enjoyed the picture of that mama bird. Her perseverance really is inspiring. I love to listen to the mourning doves in the early morning as I wake up. Now I will think of you as you are "in the weeds" and searching and waiting for a way through. I will continue to pray for you as you seek out this new treatment course. May God give you an abundance of His strength and wisdom. I only know you through following this blog but I am sending you a big hug and to let you know I'm praying.
    I enjoyed your son's video of their last day of school. What a fun way to capture the special time.

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    1. Hi Jackie- how great to hear from you. Thankful for your sweet words and reassuring prayers- they comfort me so. Love and blessings to you!

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  5. Whenever I hear a dove, I'm taken back to the back bedroom of my grandma's home where I often slept in summers. With no a/c, the sweet sound would drift into the room. Thank you for sharing that joyful video; it is uplifting, expecially thinking of that many kids cooperating. That in itself to give us hope for the future. Speaking of future, I pray that an option will be found to help you.

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    1. Norma- you are the second person who has mentioned to me a memory of doves and their grandma's house- so fascinating to me. Thankful for your prayers, as always!

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  6. We have mourning doves and I love them so much. Now I love them even more my friend.
    So looking forward to your next step Vicky...in the weeds or not God is leading you- I'm praying that He uses the new treatment to work wonders in your body-I love you my girl. (gotta go watch the video) xo

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    1. Thank you, Robin- Love you dearly too!

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  7. I will be praying for good news from your referral, Vicky. This time of year puts a lot of us in the weeds in different ways, I know you'll find your way through. I'm not one bit surprised that the presentation went well. You are such a treasure. Thanks so much for sharing that video! That crazy, joy-filled enthusiasm that only middle schoolers (and their equally crazy teachers) have, brought a huge smile to my face. Nothing like the end of another school year! Love to all of you!

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    1. Katy! Just seeing your name makes me smile :) So true about our paths through the weeds- grateful we can support each other through. I pray the end of school went well for you and that you'll get some time this summer to enjoy some vacation time and relaxation. Much love to you!

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  8. Dear Vicky ~ You have never been far from my thoughts ~ hoping and praying that there might be another treatment option out there for you to explore. When I read about your plan to visit MD Anderson, I felt such a great sense of relief and hope! My prayers will continue for a new and effective treatment. My own "message of life, hope, renewal and peace" is with you, always. Love and hugs coming your way, my friend!

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    1. I am so thankful to have you so close- both spiritually and physically, Steph. The support and encouragement help me more than I can ever truly say. Yes, MD Anderson has always been held in high regard and I am filled with hope as well. Love and hugs right back to you~ xxoo

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  9. The kids did an amazing job!

    MD Anderson (there are several in the Medical Center) are in my area. We could see them out the windows of many of the rooms Michael was in and they are connected by walkways. Perhaps if you go there, I can try to visit you! As always, every single night, you and your family are in my prayers.

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    1. I had no idea you were close to MD Anderson- wouldn't that be cool to meet! I pray I hear from them soon and can begin making plans. I will certainly keep everyone up to date, when we find out all it will entail. Thankful for those prayers- they keep helping me stay grounded in so many ways.

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  10. Oh my dear friend,
    I am breathing a sigh of relief, just hearing that you are headed to Houston for another opinion.
    My prayers, and the prayers of your prayer warriors, have been asking God to help you find another option and we'll be praying that this new doctor can find workable answers for your healing. We will NOT stop praying and believing, special friend!

    And that video of those middle schoolers..well, it had me grinning from ear-to-ear.:) :) So great
    to see Colton in that creative endeavor....Way to go Colton! Years ago I taught at an inner city middle school and I remember, with fond memories, how much energy those children had.

    Sending you so much love, dear Vicky. To the moon and back again. "In the weeds" with you, always. Searching and praying with you, always. You and your wonderful Rick and boys are in my thoughts and prayers every day, always.
    Your soul sis- Linda



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    1. Hi soul-sis,

      I always feel you in the midst of whatever is going on in my life- I simply know my soul-sis is never far and I'm so thankful for that. I am also hopeful a fresh perspective from another noted oncologist will help secure some treatments for me. Thankful you all are willing to pray a path for me. Love you friend- to the moon!

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  11. I see another Jackie in the comments. Makes me smile
    So happy that you are going to Texas for an oncologist visit.
    Praying for wisdom for those who will attend to you and those you love.
    Love you much.
    Jackie (Teacher's Pet)

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    1. At first I thought it was you, Miss Jackie- it made me smile too :) Think of you often and hold you close in prayer. Much love to you~

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  12. Awesome video! Good luck in Texas. I'm a pretty good weed wacker, at least in the visualizations I've been doing for you.

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    1. "Weed Wacker," great visual, Kass- one I can use :)

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  13. And this is where I read you are going to Texas. Okay. I really am here. I just need to not be here on my phone. Hannah and I just watched the video together with huge smiles on our faces. What a MEMORY that will be for all these kids and what a great job they all did! Loved seeing Colton. :) :)

    What a place of great hopefulness in Texas, Vicky. I'm SO grateful you have determined to go but your courage and will never fail to surprise me. You continue to show us how to meet even the deepest challenges. I know you want to know what's going on here and I will tell you that mom had good news. Stage 1 breast cancer and very operable. No other interventions will be necessary but the memory issues previously present make this challenging in unique, and sometimes difficult, ways. I know you understand so I won't say more. On to your next post.....

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I welcome what you have to say. Thanks for taking the time to grace me with your thoughts and words!

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