"Soundlessly, relentlessly praying through your spaces of brokenness makes the heart bigger, until you hold the gift of God alone. " Ann Voskamp
I keep a little notebook that I use to record thank you notes to write and send. I try to either send a note, an email, or take a quick photo so that you see I received the beautiful items so many send my way. As I go to update my list, I see how terribly behind I am in writing thank you notes, however. How did I get so behind in the everyday things I used to do?
My PET scan went fine on Monday. I did get a bad headache, most likely from not being able to eat or drink anything all morning. But as I sat in the darkened room, in the recliner, after being injected with the radioactive tracer, I kept hearing the constant buzz of my phone vibrating. Each time it did, I envisioned all of you, praying for me. I was completely alone in that room, but only physically. Spiritually, I couldn't have felt more connected and comforted and deeply grateful. I thought of Ann's words… "relentlessly praying through your spaces of brokenness makes the heart bigger…" Amen.
So when will I receive my results?
Ummmmm. I don't know.
I have an appointment with Dr. Panwalkar and infusion, next Tuesday and I suspect it will be then that we will go over everything. And no. I don't read into whether he calls, or not. I don't feel the need to call him either.
In His perfect timing, I will know.
My thinking on so many things has flipped. At one time, I would have wanted to know test results right away. As quickly as possible.
Now? The little bubble of "I am doing just fine," is a good place to hang out.
HE has this.
"… relentlessly praying… until you hold the gift of God alone."
I will provide an update, as soon as I've discussed results with Dr. P.
Love to you all~
HE has this indeed!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, praying - and thanking God for the wonder of His ways.
The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face to shine upon you, and give you peace.
Or, more specifically: Keep you in His peace.
Love from Munich, Susan
Thank you Susan! I feel the peacefulness present in your beautiful words- so thankful for them-for you.
DeleteOh, Vicky, It has been so long, are you still using your 'mom cave'?? I love that saying...it is so amazing how things just hit you and you feel it!?? I need some vicky time! I am cooking for the annual pheasant tournament this week but, next week do you have time to visit? I just want to visit for hours!!! Love you, Barb
ReplyDeleteYes- mom cave in full busy mode! I have infusion and Dr. P appt., but you could come over while I rest if you'd like, and visit :) I could use your fashion advice as I search for a "causal" outfit for the health retreat again- but I'll show you what I mean if you want to come visit :) Love you~
DeletePs I love your attitude of, nope, just wait and see. We tend to worry for nothing so often. We do read into things and then we are almost always wrong!!! Oh, dear....whats the point? It is not like we are going to change Gods plan anyway! He has it down pretty good....cant fight His Plan so you are so right to just enjoy what today is. xoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks Barb- xxoo!
DeleteMy dear friend,
ReplyDeleteYou are such a treasure and reassurance to my heart. A deep reminder of ALL that is true.
Yes, He has this. And yes, in His perfect timing you will know. I LOVE that you are resting in Him and knowing that all is well, no matter what!
A perfect day for me to learn this lesson, again and again! Thank you for being YOU and for sharing your heart and your journey! Thank you for calming MY heart!
Loves to you...to the moon and back and prayers, always prayers!
Linda
So many, Linda, have helped me learn this, and at some point it gets easier with certain things. This happens to be one of them. Other times, I struggle too! But even recognizing the struggle, becomes helpful I think. Love you to the moon~xxoo
Delete"With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
ReplyDeleteSaying special prayers and sending love right back to you, dear friend.
Beautifully said, Eileen- just perfect. We sure try, don't we? At times easier than others. Blessings to you!
DeleteSpoken like someone who has learned the blessing of living in the present.
ReplyDeleteWhen is your speaking engagement?
October 2nd. I am working away on snippets that I need to include and am hopeful I will begin to piece it all together soon. And how are you sweet friend? Would love to hear about YOU when you have a free moment :)
Deletelove and hugs to you!
ReplyDeletepraying and trusting along with you that He has this!
xo
Love that pic of you friend- thankful for your prayers and love!
DeleteI held you in my "mind's eye" the whole day on Monday. You are safe. HE has this...no question <3. Hugs to you sweet Vicky
ReplyDeleteThank you Anyes- thank you. Hugs right back to you~
DeleteLove to you, friend -
ReplyDeletexxoo
DeleteAnd love to YOU, Vicky. I wish I could give you a big hug.
ReplyDeleteI would be hugging you right back Hilary! xxoo
DeleteLove you, too, sweet friend.
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful to know that you are in the place of patience...and that your endurance is a forever one. He holds you in His Hand. What better place is there. There is no better place.
Loving you from Georgia....
Jackie
It always gives me such comfort to see you show up here, Jackie. Thankful for your wise and loving words always~
DeleteOh vicky. what I am about to write may sound blasphemous..and that is not my intent...but when I read what you wrote..i correlated and understood...100% " the little bubble of I am doing just fine..." and so one is ok with NOT knowing...ok you are going to think I am really out there...but...all of a sudden I found myself grinning...I pictured God sitting there, a big smile one his face...his chin in his hand looking down and saying, "but Vicky I may have a surprise for you...you are exsepcting...not so good news..and what, what if...the news is better then you thought? and I saw him with smiles and wonder and I giggled..despite my worry and concern...because i saw his humor, his love and felt this side that said..'but what if...it;s good news..all shall be well...wouldnt you want to celebrate right now! today! and in this moment..i realized...fight, fight fight...how can one go from that..to anything else..and it is not because we dont have faith...dont believe..it's the odd's, it is the fight ..it is the facing of the 'worse case scenerio...so we can maintain and breath through it...' a knowen of source...but may I boldley say...something today...something...made me smile..something made me see a picture..of knowing right now...and a smile off all shall be well...and it made my heart soar in utter delight and wonder....prayers and much love...and I too shall be waiting...to know...and yet...yet....all shall be well.... love, xoxo and my hearts in a wonder...
ReplyDeletePeggy Sue- oh my- I love your visual! You are so astute. Yes, after having the rug ripped out from under me in a blind side kind of way… I never feel I should be too confident in "knowing" what might be in store for me. But yes, what its true- the opposite could happen if that is HIS will! I do believe… but I tread cautiously… so true! I am glad you shared with me this fun perspective and vision that you had! What an uplifting visual to embrace- thank you Peggy- that truly touches me!
DeleteLove you sweet sister
ReplyDeleteLove you right back, Kelly ~ so thankful for you~
DeleteYes, your faith is relentless, as is your capacity for love.
ReplyDeleteKass- it hasn't always been this way for me. I am trying to make up for lost time I think... Love to YOU, friend~
DeleteI just love you.
ReplyDeleteJulie- I read this and it washes over me and touches me so. Love you right back, friend!
DeleteHey, one more thing. I called my mother and read her this post. She has RA and was in bed, hurting. She loved your words. Touched her heart. Big time. xo
ReplyDeleteOh Julie,
DeleteI am so sorry to hear about your mother. I have heard how painful RA can be and its so hard to find rest and comfort coming from a place of deep hurt. If your mother found the slightest refuge in anything you read to her, I am so very grateful, and truly honored. Much love to you- and prayers to your sweet mom for comfort and relief from pain!