the things that have come alongside of me...

I've rebounded from my less than stellar week last week.  I've been slowing my pace down, stealing away quiet moments to read, write thank you notes, and be present with the boys.  

I completed week two of radiation with just one more week to go.  I will also see Dr. Panwalkar next week and we will see if he wants me to go back to Tykerb, or begin a new treatment choice.  We've talked over a couple of options, including Taxol which would mean losing my hair again.  But I am not focusing on that right now, knowing other options exist too.  

This lovely lady came into my infusion room on Tuesday and introduced herself as Donna, the artist in residence.  She is working on a quilt and was wondering if I would like to contribute a square for it.  

This was her prompt for guiding my thinking about the multitude of material scraps I could choose from.  

"What has come along side of you during your journey through cancer?"  

Wow.  My head sort of started to whirl with too many thoughts and had she asked me to write it down?  I would have instantly known what to do.

But how do you let a big question such as that one, lead you in picking fabric pieces that will somehow share a part of your journey?

Plus, let's face it, I've never considered myself an artist.

But Donna was a great mentor.  She started talking about bold colors versus muted ones.  And did any of her samples speak to some of the things I've noticed along my journey?

So I simply started to picking samples that spoke to me.  I loved one piece that had such whimsy and color to it, I could have used the whole thing.  Instead I cut two strips and- one wavy one, and one bold jagged edge strip.  She asked if they "framed" my square perhaps?

Yes, I told her- they reminded me of gratitude which has been my frame for the whole experience.

I then found a subtler green piece that tucked right underneath the borders.  Its felt like it "grounded" the piece, and to me it was like the earth and how I feel grounded lying prone so often.

But I wasn't quite finished.  I heard the drops of chemo dripping through the lines, coursing through my port into my body.  I then stumbled across a piece of fabric, bright red, filled with dots of all colors and sizes.  It spoke of "clarity" to me.  Those brief moments or interludes in which a bubble of perspective appears, a tiny window of hope floats by, mirroring the grace, or strength, or hope I need to grasp onto and carry off into the days of all my tomorrows. 

She pinned my pieces together and this is what my quilt square will look like, in the sea of all the others  walking this journey with their "things" that have come along side them.

We're all on a journey.  Have you ever considered what has come alongside of your journey?