Thursday, September 27, 2012

when you can't get to the place you want to be...

Tuesday we took Colton for his CT scan.  It was a two minute scan and it went really smoothly.  What wasn't nearly as smooth, was my trip up to wound care.  I simply wanted to reschedule the appointment to next week, as a new scab is forming again.  Its next week, after infusion, that new scab will likely "weep" and come off.  The arrangements were simple enough.  But the climb of 4 flights of stairs?  Be still my racing heart.  I know how deconditioned I am, but that was ridiculous to be out of breath after what would normally be an easy climb. I make a mental note to discuss with Dr. Panwalkar next Tuesday. 

We next met with Dr. Elliott. Colton's scan showed a somewhat "thin" structure of either bone or tissue so Dr. Elliott thinks he can safely go through the nose for the surgery.  But, he also discovered that Colton's adenoid is very generous on the left side and he felt that needed to be removed in a separate surgery first. We have to check with our insurance first and then we will come up with a plan.  Because hockey season is around the corner and Colton doesn't want to miss his season, we may do one surgery before and one after.  Dr. Elliott thought that was a reasonable plan.  

So yesterday I downloaded a pedometer to my phone and took off for a walk.  Before I had my mastectomy last fall, I was walking 3 miles a day.  I managed about 8/10ths of a mile yesterday.  Oy.  I seriously need to work on that.  

On the way home from haircuts for the boys last night, I noticed the sun bowing down. I grabbed my camera, but it was much too late already.  Once it gets below the trees, getting an unobstructed view is hard.  I raced in the car to three different spots, but my lungs and heart couldn't physically take me to get a really decent vantage point.  

The thought of my lungs not able to keep up very well with where I want to take my camera, makes me wonder about what my physical limitations may look like in the future.  







I was a little disappointed that I couldn't capture any of that golden goodness streaking across the sky.  Until I saw this last photo.   Do you see what the sun peeking through the trees made?  It quite literally stole my heart.  Plus it taught me once again, something I seem to need every once in awhile. Even when I can't get myself to the place I want to be, the place I am can be quite amazing if I'd just look around to see what is already there. 





25 comments:

  1. Beautiful photos, Vicky. Trust all will go well for both you and Colton.

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    1. Thank you Susan- I aspire to take photos as grace filled as yours some day :)

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  2. finding heart shaped anything is such a blessing !!

    we found heart shaped rocks on the coast/beach after my nephew's funeral....i think they were signs !!....xo

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    1. Beth, I am certain they were signs- just like my own felt like a sign to me. I didn't even notice it in that way as I shot it, only afterwards and then it was crystal clear. xxoo

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  3. Wonderfull pictures sweetheart!

    Bussals
    Mimi

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    1. Thank yoU Mimi- one day I hope to take them as impressively as you do! Bussals :)

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  4. oh how lovely - like beth said above - finding heart shapes is truly a blessing! I have 2 rocks that have been found here and there!

    Speaking life and light to you Vicky - and what amazing persepctive and reminder - sometimes we do just need to be right where we are - He always knows!

    xoxoTiffany

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    1. Tiffany- so true- I am glad you see the message as I do! Hugs sweet friend ~ xxoo

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  5. Amazing..... look at that heart....

    Oh, Vicky, write a book. You are a gifted writer.

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    1. And you are too kind Karen, thank you... perhaps... I am entertaining the possibility :)

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  6. So happy for Colton...okay the heart lesson so surprised me...
    If I can't get myself to the place I want to be the place I am can be quite amazing...whew. Hanging on to that one Vicky, thank you
    xoxoxo

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    1. Thanks sweet friend ~ it speaks to me~ I don't necessarily feel its from me, but maybe its "through" me... I hope you get what I mean... Love to you~ xxoo

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  7. Nice photos with your new camera!!!! Good luck to Colton.

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    1. Thank you Lisa- soaking up all the fall goodness that I can :)

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  8. These photos, and the words that went with them, took my breath away. I am preparing for a very special journey with a dear person soon, and I can't wait to see what we will see together, whatever is right there in our midst. I look forward to the photos that will come of that journey, and much more. XXOO, Roxane

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    1. Yes Roxane- yes- totally open to seeing what is there! I'm ready :) Wait- I think that is your word :)

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  9. Yes, PLEASE write a book. Yes.....please. Thank you for your words today. I will try and apply them. Wish Colton could get it all done in one fell swoop but they have their reasons for these things and "all will be well." Praying for you tonight. So glad to finally get caught up and spend a few hours with you.

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    1. Oh Robynn, if anyone has the chops to write a book- it would be you!! Thank you for all of your lovely comments- I feel so loved when you come and spend time with me. I hope you are doing well and hope we have the return of our Robynn soon! xxoo

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  10. The heart is just beautiful! Don't worry about the exercise and endurance; just do what you can and give yourself a pat on the back that you did it!

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    1. Melissa,

      So true- but most days I feel like I should be able to do so much more... I am sure you know that feeling :) Blessings on your weekend!

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  11. Great shots! I am glad Colton's problem is not too difficult to resolve.He is such a brave boy to have gone for so many years with it. It must not be very comfortable.
    My cousin was born with this problem and they operated on him early in life.
    It is taking a long time for your wound to heal, so this means your body is still weak and you need to take care and not over do. Give your body a chance to fight by feeding it well and not over stressing your system.
    Slow and easy ... forge ahead!

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  12. I love those shots, sometimes the best sunsets are right after, as you have shown and sometimes where you want to be isn't where you're meant to be. These photo show that for sure.

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  13. It sounds like Colton's procedure won't be too complicated to solve. Great news!!!

    All of your energy is going into fighting right now. If you can only walk so far without getting tired, know that it is because your body is using all that energy to heal itself. :0)

    Your pictures are so pretty, Vicky! I read a quote the other day that I will share with you.

    "Beauty can be seen in all things, seeing and composing the beauty is what separates the snapshot from the photograph." – Matt Hardy

    Eileen xxxooo

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  14. All the very best for Colton's surgery. He is a brave boy, whose Mom is equally brave and strong. The procedure will be a breeze!

    Amazing pictures as always Vicky! I really hope and fervently pray you regain your lost stamina. May He heal you quickly! Loads of love to you!

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  15. Oh Vicky, the exact place we are is exactly where we are meant to be. I like that thought and I like your beautiful photos. And of course you will regain fitness - it takes no time at all to lose does it? And then it seems to take forever to get it back lol. Slow and steady wins the race. I am sure all will go well with Colton (and it sounds straightforward)but nonetheless it is a concern for you to see your baby in surgery.

    Yes, write the book, even do a book of your blog with your beautiful photos. You have a gift. Or what about your photos with some spiritual message to accompany the images. So many times you write one sentence which has more meaning to me than several pages. For example, the very last sentence in your post. Now that is powerful and truly touches my heart. Have a great week and happy walking.

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I welcome what you have to say. Thanks for taking the time to grace me with your thoughts and words!

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