Friday, June 10, 2011

Retreat

Colton's teacher, Mrs. Larson, retired last week from her teaching career.  The kids had written her letters describing what they had come to enjoy about her class the past year.  It was touching to see them pour their second grade thoughts and ideas into a letter.  My favorite one was from a boy who said "I hope you have a happy "re, re, retreatment..." we all laughed, but the truth of it stayed with me.  Those second graders know more than we acknowledge sometimes. Knowing Mrs. Larson, her only retreatment is truly from teaching at the school, as her children and grandchildren will now be the lucky recipients of her time.

I too have had to retreat a bit.  I've been able to only be very part time chauffeur to the boys, with Rick filling in for me as his schedule allows.  I felt a bit redeemed when after the first day of running the kids to their activities he came home exhausted!  He tried, for about a minute, to explain just what it was like... but slowly it occurred to him I might know just a bit what it is like.

No sympathy required for us, we do this willingly to ourselves every year.  I'd rather engage the boys in activity,  than watch them turn to Xbox and Wii and sitting at home fighting with each other.  So instead its hockey camp, golf, baseball, and for Nolan an extra dose of "dry-land" training with Joe Cullen.  He crawled home from baseball Monday night and asked if he could just go straight to bed!

In between washing loads of baseball pants and hockey gear,  walking with the neighbor, and a bit of running the boys around, my retreat has taken place on the couch.  A bit of a power nap and most days I am ready to go again, but some nights, the fogginess doesn't leave my head, and the heaviness in my legs nags me on into the night.  I drift off to sleep, and dream of even more retreatment... like cancer cells retreating from within the tumors, within my organs, within my mind- my dreams, from within me.

Next week we'll see how well the cancer cells truly have retreated.  I have a litany of tests Monday including a CT scan, and a meeting with Dr. Panwalkar.  Tuesday is infusion day.  

Only one big part of my life has seen no amount of retreatment.  All of you showing up here and in my life every day, cheering me on.  I've had meals delivered to my door almost every day this week- awesome, tasty, and nourishing meals!  I've gotten touching and oh so thoughtful notes brought to my door, or delivered to my mailbox.  The warm hugs I receive everywhere I go.  The phonecalls, texts, emails and visits have not subsided. You all have continued to show up and lift me up and I almost feel repetitive in my 1,000 gifts journal, because you all are there in the pages every day, multiplying my blessings and filling my life with gratitude galore.




A big thank you to Colton's Godparents, Curtis and Jennifer for sending him and Nolan the perfect preserved memory- a blanket with our photo on them.  You'd think it was the middle of winter for the amount of time we all "retreat" with our blankets in the early evenings.


20 comments:

  1. vicky, those blankets are stunning!!! and i laughed at Rick being pooped after chasing the boys around :) praying for good words next week. love you so much!

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  2. Those blankets are wonderful! never seen one like it...

    Retreat, recharge, repeat when necessary... Wishing you Good luck and good news in your battery of tests next week, have a good weekend -

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  3. Your blankets are beautiful and very thoughtful! Praying for good news from your tests next week. It sounds like you're too busy to be sick, mom...I love that Rick got a little taste of your day. Peace and rest and blessings to you, Vicky.

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  4. This just proves that men have no clue what it takes to take care of the kids! Too funny!!!! The blankets are WONDERFUL! Your neignbors and friends are awesome to deliver the meals! XO, Pinky

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  5. There is real power in those "retreating" visualizations. The whole mind-body connection. Go Vicky!

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  6. the strength of a community of loving people...it can only be described as a God thing. love that you're enveloped by it.

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  7. Praying that your test results will be a good report ... you are well loved by so very many.

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  8. Love the blankets, what a great suprise!
    Best of luck next week, I'll send as many prayers as I can that you will get the best news yet.
    Love ya!

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  9. Those blankets are out of control. Love em. Wishing you good test results next week.

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  10. Those blankets are out of control. Love em. Wishing you good test results next week.

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  11. Vicky--oh, how I remember the couch! I will be praying for peace to surround you with your tests on Monday. Scanxiety is no fun! Love the blankets! Praying for you and your family!

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  12. How beautiful and what a wonderful idea to make such blankets.
    I hope you continue to battle and win this war.
    You are very blessed and this blessing should be carried through till you win.GO VICKY!!!

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  13. Vicky, I was limited regarding Internet last week while retreating at a Carmelite monastery, but you must know I thought of you a lot and added you to the top of a long list I presented the Sisters for extra prayers. I will be thinking of you as test and results come to you. Those blankets are the coolest, by the way!

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  14. Wishing you the absolute best with your tests! With so many people behind you, and with you being such a strong fighter, I truly believe you will see some great results! And I have to say, those blankets are incredible!! Take care, and positive thoughts and prayers are sent your way for GREAT test results!

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  15. So glad to hear you are able to do as much as you do, Vicky. That in and of ITSELF is already a miracle. And I know your cup runneth over with help and love and that speaks to who YOU are, who THEY are, and who GOD is. It's good to always hear of your abundance of love and help during your treatment and "retreatment." XO

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  16. Cancerous Cells Cannot Thrive Without This
    Posted By Dr. Mercola | June 13 2011 | 32,711 views | Available in EspañolDisponible en Español
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    Curcumin TurmericNot long ago, researchers at the world-renowned University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center published a groundbreaking scientific review of their favorite anti-cancer nutrient -- curcumin. Curcumin, along with several other nutrients, is remarkable in that it can actually tell the difference between a healthy cell and a cancer cell.

    According to Wellness Resources, here is how the researchers explained their interest in curcumin:

    “’ ... Curcumin (diferuloylmethane) ... is one of the most powerful and promising chemopreventive and anticancer agents ... How curcumin exerts its powerful anticancer activities has been thoroughly investigated, and several mechanisms of action have been discovered ... curcumin exerts its biological activities through epigenetic modulation.’”

    In other words, curcumin changes the regulation of DNA to help kill cancer. In fact, curcumin not only influences epigenetic settings, it also manages the downstream consequences, helping to guide multiple steps in the way gene orders are implemented.

    more interesting facts

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  17. I hoping for great test results for you Vicky. Those blankets are amazing. Love them. So who are the boys voting for: Canucks or Bruins?

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  18. Very cool blankets!!! Hope even in the midst of test today, you could rest in the peace of the love that surrounds you :)

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  19. May all be well. Hope those tests went well.
    Holding you in the Light.

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  20. those blankets are fantastic !!

    we'll all be thinking of you on your next doctor's visit and in the meantime, sending prayers by the truckload.

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